Thank Heavens for Princess Ice Packs!

Remember how yesterday, I said that it had been a long week and it was only Tuesday?
Well it's only Wednesday and the week has turned out of control CRaZY!

Buckle your seatbelt.
Hold on tight.
Yesterday was a packed but brilliantly planned out day.
8:30 Parker - Orthodontist
10:30 Garrett - Urologist
1:00 - Go to church and set up for the Teacher Appreciation Dinner
3:00 - Pick up Parker and take him to the church to finish setting up
6:00 - Take Garrett and Brian and meet Garrett's teacher at the dinner and have a nice, relaxing night honoring her.

What really happened -
Things were going swimmingly until we were at the Urologist and the doctor said -
"If you were my son, I'd schedule the surgery for tomorrow."

Absolutely!
I knew what he meant was "Don't dawdle.  When you go out to the receptionist to check out, schedule surgery in the next few weeks."

But I figured out what he really meant when he threw open the door of the exam room and yelled,
"Kristin, get Matthew Cox on the surgery schedule for tomorrow."
(Don't get confused - Matthew IS Garrett)

Tomorrow?  Wait.  What?

A minute later, Kristin was right there in the exam room handing us pre-op instructions and telling us that surgery was scheduled for 2:15 today and to be at the hospital at 12:45. and don't have anything solid to eat after 6:15 in the morning.

My head was spinning.
The rest of the day just kind of went wacky.

But it's all calm now.
I KNEW the Sleeping Beauty Ice Pack that I bought Garrett the other day would come in handy!
I'm warming up or rather, freezing it right now!

Garrett's at school for his last classes of the week.
And then we're off to surgery!

THINGS I'VE LEARNED WHILE MOMMYING BOYS

It's been a long week.
What? It's only Tuesday?
Seriously?
Whatever.
At least it's RTT - RaNDoM THouGHT TueSDaY!

Go on over and see Keely at The UnMom and hook up!

And now -
THINGS I'VE LEARNED WHILE MOMMYING BOYS -

1) Your definition of a "clean" room and their's are miles apart. They have a high tolerance for clothing on the floor and are allergic to hangers.

2) Once they hit 13, you need to cook/prepare/have available TWO dinners each night.
Not snacks, not a bowl of ice cream, not a bowl of cereal, not a handful of popcorn or pretzels - two MEALS.
And they need to be different.

3) There are a LOT of slang words for private parts.
Example from last night:
Me: "Little Jimmy, say the blessing on the dinner."
Little Jimmy's Brother: "Yeah and don't forget to bless my Fruity Pebbles."

Note: It was dinner, not breakfast.
Still don't get it?  Remember, cereal is NOT dinner.

4) Never, ever ground your boys.
Really?  Who is supposed to be punished?

Real life convo -
Parker - "Yeah, my friends are always getting grounded.  How come you never ground us?"
Me: "What?  And torture myself?  I'd rather hit you and get it over with."

5) If you ever feel like putting your hands around your son's neck and squeezing really, really hard, you are normal.
Try not to do it.
Try to walk away.

6) Don't use idle threats that you could never or would never enforce.
We were at Disneyland with friends and the mom said,
"If you don't quite pinching your brother,
you're going to go sit in the car in the parking lot."
Her son knew THAT would never happen.
Who would put their kid in the car in the parking lot of Disneyland?
Be realistic.
Like when I was shopping with Garrett last fall and said,
"If you don't cut it out, I'll give you a round house kick to the head."
I could do it.
Practice round house kicks in your bedroom.
You need to be ready to follow through on threats.

7) Remember, the prime motivation to BUILD something is to DESTROY it.
Don't get all excited and think they are mini architectural geniuses when they spend hours building
Legos,
Blocks,
Popsicle Stick Houses,
Gingerbread Houses,
it's not to be creative........it's to wreak havouc.
What goes up, must come down - preferably with fire.

8) Sometimes matches aren't enough to burn things.
Cotton balls dipped in wax, lit on fire with a lighter and launched from a catapult are much more effective.

9) Sound and noise are GOOD.
Loud sounds are BETTER.
Silence is DANGEROUS.

10) Encourage contact sports.
It will be harder to determine whether YOU are responsible for the bruises or not.

11) Boys are the best thing that will ever happen to you.
Boys ROCK!
They make you laugh. They make you cry.
They make you think.  They make you wonder.
They are big and hairy and smelly and sweaty and sweet and amazing and achingly human.
I LOVE BOYS!

WHAT WILL I WEAR?

Oh!  I have a lot to say!
1. I'm exhausted.
2. Seattle was wonderful.  The wedding was fabulous.
I'll get to all of that - eventually.


While we were gone,
it was announced in church that Brian and I have a new calling.
Yep - we get to work together!!!

What will we be doing?
Get ready!
I'll give you a hint with Garrett's text message:
"You and dad got a new calling: nursery."


No, we aren't going to be co-nursery leaders.
Thanks Garrett!
Close though - Brian and I were asked to plan the Bataan Death March Pioneer Trek for 400 youth ages 14-18.
It's an eternity 3-4 days of whining hiking in Wyoming.

It follows the the trail that the pioneers took on their trek to Utah.
Fortunately, we aren't starting in Nauvoo and walking to Salt Lake City.
We're just walking 15-20 mile of the trail.


We've known for a few weeks but it was just announced yesterday.
After we were called, I woke up in a cold sweat one night concerned.
There are about 1.2 million details to be figured out -
transportation,
meals,
sleeping arrangements,
chaperones,
medical care,
I could go on and on and on.
It's overwhelming.


But that first night,
you know what shook me to my core and woke me out of a sound sleep?
I think I gave away my SECOND bonnet!


How can you possibly plan a successful pioneer trek if you don't have a cute wardrobe?
How could I have UNSELFISHLY given away my spare bonnet?
Sharing was foolish.  Look where that got me!
I only have 14 months to secure another.

My Kids Feast on the Word of God!

I was cleaning out my church bag/carry on tote for the trip to Seattle. 
I've been taking it to church because I am lugging my scriptures, lesson books, toys and snacks and books for my nephew and a calendar and assorted other things.  I may as well take a suitcase to church.

Anyway, as I was cleaning out the church stuff,
I came across a piece of paper with an announcement on it.
The Boneheads were obviously paying rapt attention to the speakers,
because they were taking notes on the back of this announcement.

Or not -


I wonder if they ate breakfast before church?

I can pick out Garrett's scrawl.  I can pick out Parker's sloppy writing as well.
Wait.  
Who wrote - "Frosted Flakes, A Cold Glass of Chocolate Milk and Krispy Kreme?"

That was the man - the GROWN MAN - who was sitting beside them.

Talk about partaking of the Bread of Life, Nuggets of Truth, the Living Water or Feasting on the Word of God.
I am so proud of the Boneheads' religiosity.

I'm NOT Compulsive

Yesterday, I was in a panic to get ready to leave town.
You know how it is.
You have to pack but you also have a long list of things to accomplish before you can leave-
like vacuuming your shoe shelves and ironing the sheets.

How did this happen?
Why am I not just ironing a blouse for the trip, but why do I insist on ironing my pajamas?
(Should pajamas have a crease in them?)
And WHO got me started on ironing sheets?

Oh, I'll tell you where the illness started or got worse or found me ironing undershirts.
Years ago, we took the family to Italy.
We were staying in a villa and the owner assured us there were laundry facilities.
The end of our stay at the villa was nearing and so were our clean clothes.
We still had a week of travel left, so I wanted to avail myself of those promised laundry facilities.
We found the owner and asked him

Turns out, there were no laundry facilities on the property.
He meant that the same person who did his laundry could do our laundry.
How convenient.
I emptied a large (and mean large) duffle bag and packed every dirty pair of pants, shirt, pair of socks and boxers I could get my hands on and presented it to the owner.

Turns out the laundress wasn't on the premises.
He took the laundry to town.
I don't know where.
It came back the next day
with a bill.
150 Euros!
Are you serious????
We choked. $200 to get a week's worth of clothes washed. 
It was laughingly ridiculous.  But it was what it was.  We weren't going to let it ruin an otherwise incredible trip.  Lesson learned.

BUT EVERY SINGLE PIECE OF CLOTHING WAS IRONED.
Every polo shirt.
Every pair of pants.
Every undershirt.
Every pair of boxers.
Everything.

I fell in love!
I fell in love with the Italian laundress or at least her ironing.
And so, from then on, I wanted neat little stacks of pure white t-shirts with nary a wrinkle.
I ironed all of my kids clothes (including jeans) when they came out of the dryer
That lasted about two months and then I realized that meals had to be made, toilets cleaned and the dishwasher unloaded.

Wear the wrinkled undershirts!
No one will ever see them!

But I haven't given up the sheets.
I can't NOT iron the sheets.
There is NOTHING better than climbing into a bed with clean, IRONED sheets!
I'm a sick, sick girl.

TO DO: RaNDoM, Pick Up a Weightlifting Belt, and Maybe PACK

Yea for Tuesday!
Yea for RaNDoM!

Who doesn't like RaNDoM?
Go see Keely at The UnMom. She's the one who started all of this!

* I have a list two thousand miles long of things that need to be done today.
Funny, blogging isn't on the list.
So I'll do that first.

* EVERYONE at this house is a little bit on the grouchy side.
It must be from too MUCH sleep.
Usually everybody stays up ALL night and gets up between 5 and 5:15.
Th kids went to bed at...........ready?...........8:30.
Seriously.
Brian and I would have gone to bed early too but we had to watch 10 episodes of Deadliest Catch.

* Tomorrow, Margaret and I leave for her daughter's wedding in Seattle.
Margaret is probably going to kill me.
I keep calling every five minutes to make sure she hasn't forgotten something.
Just now - "Okay, so while I was in the shower, I wondered if you had packed whatever supplies you need to bustle Laura's dress?"
Check!

* Here's Friday's conversation with the Urgent Care lady.
Me: "Hi. I think my son has a broken wrist and..........."
Urgent Care Lady: "Oh, well you can bring him in and we'll X-Ray it."
Me: "Right, but I need to know what you do if it's broken.  Can we just get it cast there?"
UCL: "Well, see, usually we can't because it's swollen."
Me: "Right.  But his wrist isn't swollen, so can we just take cae of it there?"
UCL: "Well, we usually wait a few days and send you to another doctor."
Me: "See, I'm really looking for a 'One Stop Shop."

Parker didn't seem to think it was too urgent to get to urgent care.
He went to lunch with friends at Panda Express.
I finally dragged him in about 2.
His wrist was.................broken but not swollen.
I'm a medical genius.
We left with this:

a fiberglass splint.  It's way cool because you can take it off whenever you want to, like to shower and go in the hot tub for a few seconds.

* We still went to the Orthopedic guy yesterday.

THAT'S a whole different story.

But we got a whole new official brace -

* Our doctor's appointment was at 9:15.  We got there at 9:00.  I filled out all the paperwork, turned it in and came back and sat down with Parker.  I was looked up from my book at the line of people waiting to check in with the receptionist and hmmmm............there's a guy in line with a weight lifting belt on.  You now, those wide leather belts? Weird.

But who knows, maybe it's part of some treatment he's doing or since I can only see the back, maybe it's attached to a brace or sling or something.  Hmmmmm.  There is a guy with him holding an X-Ray.

They speak with the receptionist and turn around to come sit down.

Wait............a...........minute.

What the????

Yeah...........there's something attached to the "weight lifting" belt.

It's chains with HANDCUFFS!

And the guy is in shackles.

We're at the Felon Orthopedic Clinic!

* The felon went AHEAD of us.

We walked out of our 9:15 appointment at 12:15.

I was NOT happy!

* I woke yesterday and realized there were NO bakery items in the house for breakfast.

THAT was awful.

* Don't you hate it when you are trying to get out of town and you have a million things to do and for some reason you start doing ridiculous things like - cleaning out the freezer and cleaning the crumbs out of the keyboard?  What is wrong with me?

Enough RaNDom!  I hae to go alphabetize the spices!

Health Care - And You Thought You Had it Bad!

Two years ago, when Trammell received his mission call to go to Cambodia,
I barely knew where Cambodia was.
Somewhere is Asia-ish right?

Okay, so I could find it on a map.
It's right between Thailand (on the northwest) and Vietnam (to the south and east) in Southeast Asia to be exact.

Since then, we have enjoyed seeing Cambodia through Trammell's eyes.
He loves the country, the culture and the people.
He has never mentioned anything negative or talked about how poor or underdeveloped the country is.

As we prepare for our journey to Cambodia (not until the height of monsoon season - July),
we have been reading up and getting to know the country a little bit better.

Cambodia has not had an easy history.
It has been shaped by a violent past.
There are still land mines reminding them of this violence.
There are still modern day border clashes and turf battles.

As I read the guidebooks,
I am torn.
Some of the descriptions are both hilarious and horrifying.
I'm find myself trying to decide if I should laugh or cry.
I'm not sure which.

While waiting for Parker's cast the other day,
he and I read about health care in Cambodia.

Here's what we read.
Laugh or cry - you decide.

"INFORMATION AND SERVICES
Health and Emergencies"

Phnom Penh - the capital
"If you become serious ill or sustain injuries in a traffic accident,
then have yourself evacuated as quickly as possible to Bangkok or Singapore.
For less serious emergencies, visit International SOS.
This clinic has a dentist and can assist with evacuations."
"The main local hospital is Calmtte, though it's not at all recommended.
Also, avoid all othe hospitals in the capital."

Battambang - the second largest city
"The Battambang Provincial Hospital cannot be recommended for anything but the most minor accident wounds.  If you have a serious injury or disease, cross the border to Thailand as quickly as possible and seek medical attention there."

Kampong Cham
"The hospital in Kampong Cham is inadequate.  If you have an accident or fall ill, try to get to Phnom Penh as quickly as possible.  The health posts in the area will not be able to provide even the most basic treatment."

Stung Treng
"No adequate health services exist in Stung Treng at this time.  If you have an accident or fall ill, try to get to Phnom Penh as quickly as possible.  The helath posts in the aread will not be able to provide even the most basic treatment.  A few years ago, alone motorcyclist crashed his bike, broke his leg, and passed out.  Local people took him to a nearby health post and when the poor traveler reagained consciousness, his leg had been amputated.That said, the Strung Treng Hospital sometimeshas doctors from UNICEF present who might be able to help."

Oh and then this little warning -
"Be aware that the ambulances may or may not come and the public emergency telephone numbers sometimes go unanswered."

Bottom line -
Don't get sick and don't get hurt while in Cambodia - anywhere!