ALL ABOARD THE CRAZY TRAIN!

You, me and Ozzy Osborne!
Get on the CRaZY TRaiN!

It's May and I don't care who you are,
if you have kids, you have CRaZY!
May is crazier than December
-with all the end of year banquets, award ceremonies, teacher appreciation, prom, graduations, weddings, holidays, birthdays, carivals, extravaganzas, galas, orgies, riots, funerals!
Okay, I just threw in the last few.
You get the idea.

So, take a break and link up with The UnMom for some RaNDoM TueSDaY FUN!

* I hope everyone had a spectacular Mother's Day!
I told Brian not to get me anything.
I didn't want him to waste money on stuff I don't really need,
when I "need" the money to waste on clothes for the Beverly Hills wedding we are going to next week.
If anyone is going to pick out things to waste money on - its going to be me!
I just need to pick up five or 10 outfits for the Welcome Reception, Rehearsal Dinner, Beverly Hills City Tour, Wedding, Reception, After Party in the Penthouse and the Brunch following the after party.

Good thing I'm not going to be there Thursday night for "Tranny Bingo" because I have NO idea what I would wear to that.


* My house smells like a funeral parlor (who said there wouldn't be a funeral in May?)
The official -"You can plant your flowers because there will be no more killer frosts but the deer are now out to eat your plantings" day in Colorado is Mother's Day.
Didn't we just have that?
So why are we getting 1-2 FEET of snow tonight?
Good thing I didn't plant those flowers!
Good thing I set them outside each day and then drag them back in at night!


* Brian did give me one super duper wonderful gift though.
He hired the painter to come and paint my baseboards tomorrow.
Seriously - how cool is that?
I don't know about you guys, but I would much rather have my baseboards painted than..........
well anything.
And for once, I am NOT being sarcastic.
BEST. GIFT. EVER.


* Poor Parker.
He needs a summer job.
He's only 15.  If he were a tall 15 year old, he could pull it off.
But who is going to hire a 15 year old who looks 10?
Maybe he ould draw on a mustache.
In an effort to "encourage" him,
Garrett came up with several brilliant employment ideas:
Midget Meals - Big meals by a small guy.
Midget Mowing - Taking care of the little details.
Parker sighed, "Does everything have to have the word 'Midget' in it?"

No, No it doesn't.
Garrett suggested that Parker could be a video game tutor.
There are TONS of parents fretting about how to get little Johnny a nuke on Call of Duty.
Parker can ease that anxiety!


* The highlight of Mother's Day was talking to Trammell in Cambodia.

He sounds..........like himself!
He sounds AWESOME!
We all gathered around the phone and spent and hour chatting.
He sounds great.  He is happy.
He wraps up his mission and we pick him up in about 2 months.
WooHoo!

Well - how fun was that RaNDoM?  The fun never ends!

Have a great Tuesday!

Monday Mayhem - All About Mom

Mother's Day as awesome!
Mother's day was great!
What's not great about getting to talk to Trammell in Cambodia, spending time with your family, your mom, your MIL and GREAT FOOD?


Since I didn't do a special tribute to my mom or moms in general,
I'm playing along with Monday Mayhem.

Go on over and check it out!

Each week, there is a prompt
and this week is............

ALL ABOUT MY MOM

1. How old is your Mom? If she has passed away, how old would she be?


Oh my mom is going to LOVE this!
Her birthday is Friday - this Friday.
She is turning 68.
Doesn't she look much younger?
2. What is/was your Moms worst  best habit?


My mom LOVES people - all kinds of people.
She is friends with everyone.
She loves everyone.
I don't understand this because I don't really like people. ;)
If you take her with you to run errands, she will come home with five new friends!
She makes friends with the people in line at the grocery store, waiting in the doctor's office or with all the parents watching a lacrosse game.




3. What famous person does/did your Mom resemble (a picture of that famous person would be nice)?


Easy!
She looks like her mom.  Isn't she pretty?

And her mom was in the movies.  B movies.  But movies nonetheless. 

4. What would be one meal that you would love for your Mom to cook for you right now?


My mom is a great cook.
I love it when she cooks.
Don't ask for her recipes though - she's one of those cooks who throws in whatever sounds good.
It works!  Her meals are delicious.


5. Was your Mom a Stay at Home Mom or did she have to go to a work/job (and yes, Mayhem understands and knows that being a Stay at Home Mom is work/job) when you were growing up?


She was a Stay at Home Mom - kind of. ;)
She didn't have a "paying" job but she was the queen of volunteering.
She was Releif Society President.
She volunteered at LDS Family Services.
She was very active in PTO and was PTO president.
She was president of the swim team.
Luckily - not all of these at once.


6. Did you ever make your mom cry? if so, explain.


Oh I'm sure I did.
But then again, how could I?
I was near perfect.
Now my brothers? They made her cry ALL the time.
Okay, maybe not cry, but throw things - yeah.


7. Have you ever told a lie to your Mom to protect yourself or someone else? If yes, have you come clean and told your Mom the truth?


I'm sure I have, but I can't remember anything specific.
But I never lied to get out of trouble because...........see above.


8. What is the one thing that you most admire about your Mom?


I think it's extremely cool/admirable that my mom is going on a mission with my dad to Rome. It wouldn't be easy to leave your family and friends behind (some of whom she insists will be "gone" when she gets back - I think she means dead) for two years.  It would be diificult to leave behind the comforts of your home and go to a new country where the language, culture and customs are foreign.


Ever since they received their mission call in December, she has been spending hours and hours each week studying Italian.  She'll be great because once again, she loves people and she's up for an adventure.
I think she's brave!


9. In 10 words or less, describe your Mom.
Cool
Zany
Accepting
Loving
Nuts
Outgoing
Loves to learn
Spiritual
Advocate


There you have it - All About My Mom!
Sometime, I'll have to share some more stories about her - because we have A LOT!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

Your job is important!
Mother's make a difference!



Alma 56:47-48
". . . Yea, they had been taught by their mothers, that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them. And they rehearsed unto me the words of their mothers, saying: We do not doubt our mothers knew it."

President Wilford Woodruff said -
". . . Show me a mother who prays, who has passed through the trials of life by prayer, who has trusted in the Lord God of Israel in her trials and difficulties, and her children will follow in the same path. These things will not forsake them when they come to act in the kingdom of God" (Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Wilford Woodruff, p. 169).


President Dieter Uchtdorf said -
"If you are a mother, you participate with God in His work of creation—not only by providing physical bodies for your children but also by teaching and nurturing them. If you are not a mother now, the creative talents you develop will prepare you for that day, in this life or the next.
"You may think you don't have talents, but that is a false assumption, for we all have talents and gifts, every one of us (see D&C 46:11–12). The bounds of creativity extend far beyond the limits of a canvas or a sheet of paper and do not require a brush, a pen, or the keys of a piano. Creation means bringing into existence something that did not exist before—colorful gardens, harmonious homes, family memories, flowing laughter.
"What you create doesn't have to be perfect. . . . Don't let the voices of critics paralyze you—whether that voice comes from the outside or the inside.
"If you still feel incapable of creating, start small. Try to see how many smiles you can create, write a letter of appreciation, learn a new skill, identify a space and beautify it."
(Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "Happiness, Your Heritage," Ensign, Nov. 2008, 119)
 

Perspectives from High School Boys

Aren't Fridays the BEST?
Love em!
Before I can party like a rock star,
I've got to clean Monday through Thursday out of my head.
Don't be afraid.

Join in!
Go see Mrs. 4444s  at Half-Past Kissin' Time and link up!


* Have you ever wondered what goes on in a teenage boy's head?
I'll share with you.

Last night we were celebrating Seis de Mayo by having DINNER at a Mexican restaurant.
The normal people in our family (Brian and I) ordered steak fajitas.
For their dinner, the Boneheads ordered 2 fried ice creams and 4 sopapillias.
I said nothing.
You can tell I'm pretty over parenting.
They fired up the grill around 10 pm and made something to supplement that dessert/dinner.




* Tonight is Mormon Prom.
6 weeks ago: Me: "Garrett, who are you asking to Mormon Prom?
Garrett: "No one.  I'm not going this year."


5 weeks ago: "Are you going to Mormon Prom?"
"No."


4 weeks ago: "Are you asking anyone to Mormon Prom?"
"No."


3 weeks ago: "Are you sure you don't want to go to Mormon Prom?"
"Positive."


2 weeks ago: "Mormon Prom?"
"No."


Last week: "Are you sure you don't want to go?  There are a lot of girls who would love to go."
"Nope.  Not going."


Yesterday: Garrett: "I might go to Mormon Prom.  Roger really wants to go.  I told him I would take him."
What?


He won't ask any of the girls who have dropped hints that they want to go. But he will go with a boy?  You can't possibly predict what goes on in that head!
It's not that - Roger is a young man who is "investigating" the church.  Garrett has been going with the
missionaries to teach him about the church.  So if Roger wants to go, Garrett will take him. LOL
Garrett is going to the high school prom though - in two weeks.  He has some misgivings.  See below -




* Mothers' Day is the ALL CLEAR day for planting in Colorado.
Supposedly, you can get out there and plant your annuals without fear of frost.
No promises though.
We've had snow in June.
I'll be out with half the state shopping for annuals this weekend!
I do have a three foot tomato plant outside.
It has 14 baby tomatoes on it!
Sometimes I bring it in for the night.
Sometimes I don't.
It got down to about 28 degrees last night.
I hope it survived.


* Garrett is a pretty stylin' dresser.
Like today, he wore

with

Most days he wears shorts or jeans with some variation of a polo shirt.

Jeans or shorts.  But he always wears a collared shirt. 

The other day, he came home from school wearing sweats and a T.

Me: "THAT'S what you wore to school?"

Garrett: "Yeah.  Everyone liked it.  I got a ton of compliments."
Garrett's Friend: "Dude, people stopping and saying, 'Garrett, is that YOU?' are NOT compliments."

* I am banning myself from ever shopping at Whole Foods again.

I hate that place.

I only shop the perimeter of the store and the end caps.

Who wants to get sucked into all that healthy crap in the middle?

I'm looking for stuff with high fructose corn syrup, MSG and preservatives with a few nitrates thrown in.

Yesterday, against my better judgment,

I walked out of there with 7 separate carbohydrate items and some peaches.

I knew I shouldn't have bought the peaches.

There are no such things as "juicy" peaches that can be harvested anywhere in the world the first of May!

I should have been suspicious when the sign said:

"California Peaches."

And the stickers on the peaches said, "Grown in Mexico."

Ohhhh...........THAT California.

* One more real live rant conversation -

Garrett -

"What is with girls?  Why do they go out and get their hair did and put on a pound of make up so that they are barely recognizeable?  Why do they waste their mom's money on 10 inch nails?  Why do they have to DO THAT?  I want you to look the way you looked the day I asked you - with your hair down and no makeup.  That's why I asked you!  I liked how you look with your hair down and no makeup.  I thought you looked good!"

* I told everyone NOT to buy me any Mothers' Day presents.

I will buy my own.

I don't want them wasting money on stuff.....that I don't need.

They are cooking dinner.

What I really want is some clothes for the wedding we are going to in two weeks.

I have gone to EVERY store in town.

I have found NOTHING!

I guess I won't be getting any presents.

Happy Mothers' Day to you!  May you have a lovely day!

Feel My Forehead. Do I Have a Fever?

Yeah.
I must be sick.
Yesterday at 2 pm found me in the kitchen cooking -
by choice.
I was grilling Italian Sausages.
Steaming artichokes.
And making spaghetti sauce - from scratch.

For some crazy reason, I woke up wanting to cook.
I went to the store and bought all the ingredients.
I passed up the bottled spaghetti sauces and even eschewed the packet of spaghetti seasonings.
And get this - I used fresh basil from my plant in the kitchen
I used fresh parsley from the garden.
(I thought parsley was an annual.  Why do I have four parsley plants and chives where I planted them last year?)


After dinner, I went to my neighbors to package up 350 "bird's nests" for her daughter's wedding.

They are pretzels and peanuts mixed with various flavors of chocolate formed into a bird's nest with 3 sage green jelly beans nestled inside! You can use chow mein noodles too but broken pretzel sticks taste even better. And the bird's nests pictured above used mini Cadbury eggs. (Not my picture) Way cute!!


But I digress.  We both moved here 14 years ago.
Our kids were teeny.  Now they are old.  Her's are all gone.
Anyway, I asked her if she remembered the days when we cooked EVERY NIGHT.
Ahhhh...........those were the days!

Chocolate Cake and Green Bean Casserole Make the World Go Round

It's everyone's favorite day.

Okay, well, maybe not everyone's,
but it would be if you would just go see Keely at The UnMom and link up.

On with the show -

* Because I know you want to know -
I'm eating chocolate cake for breakfast!
Aren't you jealous?


* Garrett has his post op visit today.
Yesterday, the weather was gorgeous and the boys went golfing after school.
I went outside to find Parker cramming two sets of clubs into ONE bag.
Garrett somehow convinced Parker that although he could swing a golf club,
there was no way he could carry his bag.
As a concession,
Parker packed a mini backpack with golf balls and told Garrett he would have to haul that around.


* 1/2 of the Bonehead Brothers leaves on his mission today.

He reports to the Missionary Training Center in Provo, Utah tomorrow.  He'll be there for 11 weeks studying Russian and then he's off to the Ukraine.

It's one of those bittersweet moments.

It's the absolute BEST thing he could be doing,

but it's hard to say goodbye.

We had a final feast last night and I don't know if it was harder for the two Boneheads to say goodbye or to watch the Boneheads say goodbye.

They will reunite in about 2 1/2 -3 years after Garrett finishes his mission.

* I was settling into bed the other night about 10:15, when I heard rattling around in the kitchen.

I got up to see what was the clatter.

Parker was making green bean casserole.

AT 10:15!
People!

* Brian's business partner went on a cruise with his family.

It wasn't fun.

Duh!

They were on Carnival.

They learned the hard way.

Brian's partner's wife called it WOW!

WalMart on Water.

It was way entertaining and fun -

if you like domestic violence, stumbling down drunks, obese Americans fighting for poor quality buffet food

and visiting the dirty part of Mexico.

I'm not sorry I missed it.

* And in that spirit,

Brian and I went to a local restaurant the other night.

It's decent. 

But when we finished eating and walked into the reception area, it was PACKED with....

interesting characters.

Brian leaned in close and whispered -

"Is this a Port of Call for Carnival?"

I could hardly walk.  I was laughing too hard.

I shouldn't be allowed to leave my house!
I'm really nice and actually like most people until I leave the house and have to deal with humanity.

Then it all goes downhill from there!

Don't leave your house!
Unless it's to get a cupcake or donut!
Have a great Tuesday!

Senior Night at Lacrosse

At the last home lacrosse game,
the seniors are recognized on the field during half time.

Usually they are escorted by their parents on the field,
while the announcer reads what the senior wrote.
It's information about their lacrosse career, where they are going to college and a short tribute to their parents.

The playes are wearing their home jersey and they usually give their away jersey to their mom to wear.
Hopefully it's washed!

Since Brian and I were trekking across Wyoming,
Garrett invited his younger brother, Parker and
his 14 month old cousin Mr. Chunkers to be his escorts.
Usually the escort walks the senior across the field - not vice versa.

Here is what the announcer read -
Tonight, Garrett’s favorite people are out of town. He is being escorted by his younger brother Parker and his cousin Mr. Chunkers.

He has played lacrosse since 4th grade. He played middie until sophomore year and then switched to LSM and defense.

Garrett will attend Brigham Young University in Provo starting in June and then Brigham Young University in Idaho this fall.

Off the field, Garrett likes to snowboard, play the violin, play COD, see the world, take long walks on the beach, and eat wings.

Garrett would like to thank his parents by saying, “Thank you for supporting me in doing the things I love and helping me become the person I am today.”

A GOOD time was had by all.

My brother was only able to take 73 pictures AND video the whole thing. ;)