The TRUTH Will Come Out - Or You Might Get Ejected

There are always those little stories that your children fail to share with you.
Ahhh.....but they will come out!

This little adventure came out at the leadership banquet -

The leadership class decided to support one of the lesser cheered on sports - Girl's Field Hockey.
They made posters and banners and invited all the students to dress in black and come to the stadium to support the team.

I've been to a field hockey game.
There are usually 3 parents and 2 siblings making up the fan section.
How exciting for those girls and their coaches to a couple of hundred students come support them.

Evidently, the game wasn't going our way.
And evidently, it wasn't just the players who lacked talent.
The refs left something to be desired.
And evidently, the game was pretty boring and needed to be spiced up.
The inmate fans grew restless.

Finally, after 15 "bad calls."
Garrett made his own "bad call."
The ref blew her whistle and pointed at the player who she deemed should get a penalty.
From up in the stands,
came a really loud voice:
"What?  Don't you point at her.  If you point at her, I'll point at YOU!"

The ref turned to the crowd and called, "Who said that?"

Garrett stood and said, "I did."
YOU'RE OUT!

Yep - Garrett was ejected from the game.
The crowd had a field day.
The coach actually had to leave the field and walk him out of the stadium since it was an official call.
(And Tiny Baby had to leave too......since his ride just got kicked out.)

It was the BEST field hockey game in the history of the school!

Give Mommy a "TIME OUT!"

When you are a parent, you have to pick your battles.


Bedtime was my battleground.


Brian travelled a lot or he was at church meetings.
By the end of the day, my patience was thin
and so help me - you were going to bed!


I'm not sure how many times I marched up the stairs to deliver death threats or spankings.
But when I said, "Be quiet and go to bed," I meant it.
If you startied asking for 20 drinks of water, 10 stories, or started jumping on your bed and giggling - one of us was going to die.


When Parker was 3, Garrett 6 and Trammell was 8,
I resorted to switching up the sleeping arrangements
because Garrett was naughty needed more sleep.


Before leaving their rooms one night,
I gently explained threatened that it had been a long, long day,
Mommy was very tired and this was not the night for jacking around.


Everyone must should be quiet and go right to sleep or else!
Death was nigh!


My feet barely hit the bottom of the stairs
when I heard noise.
Was I not clear?
Smoke started coming out of my ears.
Flames were shooting out of my eyes.
My head spun around my neck three times.
And I flew back up the stairs.


I whipped open the door, ready to come unglued on the disobedient child who dared to get out of bed and make noise.


Just as I opened my mouth to unleash my anger,
I saw Trammell sitting on Parker's bed with a book.
"What are you doing?"
I could barely get it out without sounding like a possessed demon from hell.


All innocence and light,
Trammell held the book up and said,
"I'm just reading the scriptures to Parker."


Oops! I needed a time out and perhaps my own lashing!
Have you ever yelled at your kids for something they didn't do?
Apparently, a lot of us supermoms have.


I'm pretty sure this is the only time it happend though!
My little remembrance was inspired by Big Mama Cass.
It's one of the prompts at Writer's Workshop over at Mama Kat's place.


Head on over, take a look around and pick a prompt!

There is HOPE!

I know that there are a lot of people who are discouraged with today's teens.

And maybe rightfully so.
I know that there are a lot of teens out there who are lazy, misdirected, make poor choices, and seem to be going no where.

But, I LOVE teenagers.
In them, I see so much hope.
Hope and excitement for the future.
Sure, there are some bad teens, but there are mostly good, awesome, wonderful teens!

We went to the high school leadership banquet last night.
It was impressive.
What was impressive?

These 65 kids are smart.
They are going places.
They serve in the community - they are required to perform a minimum of 40 hours of service each year.
This is not the only thing they participate in - they play sports, they sing in choirs, they are cheerleaders, they go to church, they hold jobs, they tutor, they mentor, they coach.
They plan all the activities for the school - pep assemblies, spirit weeks, dances, homecoming, prom, lunch time activities.
They support each other. They work together.  They learn and grow together.

But most of all - they love each other.

PS: YES - That is a VELVET sportscoat that Garrett is wearing.  There is hope.  But there's not THAT much hope.

May Days - Trash, Tornados & Tattoos

Tuesday is my FAVORITE day!
And not just because it's RaNDoM THouGHT TueSDaY.
It's also TRASH DAY.
Don't you love trash day?
It's soooooo freeing to get rid of stuff.
In addition to our three trash cans, we are donating 12 bags of yard clippings, weeds, trimmings, branches etc. to the trash men.
And now that we've cleared out our yard,
it's time to clear my mind -

Go see Keely at The Un Mom and link up!


* Could it really be just 13 months ago that Parker got his braces on?
Remember, we went to our ortho appointment at 7:15 for a "routine" check up
and the ortho said, Surprise! Come back at 9:30 and we'll put braces on."
How excited was Parker?
We went to Village Inn at 7:30 in the morning for a "last supper" of steak.
Where else could we get steak at 7:30 in the morning?
Guess who gets his braces off at 9:30 this morning??????

Ahhhh..........here's the reluctant soul on that fateful day last April!

* It's just 5 days before my neighbor's Wedding Extravaganza in Beverly Hills!

The brides family leaves today.

The mother of the bride and her younger daughter fly out this afternoon.

The bride's brothers leave this morning..........driving........2 cars with a UHaul trailer.

Don't ask what's in the trailer.  Don't ask.

* Well, well, well.

It's May 18th.

Ten days PAST Colorado's "It's all safe to plant your flowers" date.

Today is the perfect day to plant the flowers that have been on my kitchen table for three weeks.

Except that we're supposed to get rain, wind, hail and maybe a tornado this afternoon.

* Tonight is the Leadership Banquet.

Thursday is the Lacrosse Banquet.

Friday we leave for the Wedding.

Saturday is Prom.

I need more hours in the day and I need more party clothes.

* Since Brian and I are going to pay Kat Von D a visit at High Voltage Tattoos next weekend,

I've been giving a lot of thought to tats.

How about a cupcake tramp stamp?

 I mean, shouldn't a tattoo be about something you love?

* I'll try to take pictures of the wedding extravaganza,

but really, I have to be discreet.

We'll see.

I asked the my neighbor to make everyone wear name tags that include not just their names but why they are famous.

I'll NEVER recognize the screenwriters or producers.

Am I supposed to?

I don't think I'll recognize anyone!

* I am so disappointed in my friend Lil' Wayne.

He's serving one year for a gun possession charge.

Shocking that a rapper/hip hop star would have an illegal gun.

But anyway, he could get out early for good behavior.

Well, that just got shot down.

Yeah - he was caught with illegal paraphernalia in his cell.

Headphones.

Yeah - he can't have headphones.

* And the CRAZY never ends.

It's graduation next week.

Graduation just takes a few hours,

but the parties take DAYS!

Garrett has a litle stack of invitations that have come in the mail.

But with Facebook, people save time and money and avoid the post office.

I told Garrett to print out his FB invites.........all 37 of them,

so he could plan his party route.

Eek!  Sorry.  No gifts.

Well it's time for the braces removal!

Have a great Tuesday!

Some Things Never Change!

Last night was Garrett's Seminary Graduation.

They had a wonderful program and our stake had about 40 graduates.

For those who are unfamiliar with seminary,
it is an early morning (6am) scripture study class held every day before school.

In order to graduate, students must have 80% attendance or better for all 4 years, read the book of scripture that is being studied each year, and have an interview with their bishop.
It really is quite an accomplishment!
Do you know how hard it is to get up EVERY morning at 5:15ish?
So..........CONGRATS to GARRETT!

But just in case you thought that everyone was growing up and all mature,
listen in on this conversation -

Parker and Garrett were in the kitchen giggling and laughing uncontrollably over stupid, idiotic stuff.
I am immediately suspicious when ANYbody is having too much fun.
I'm pretty sure I heard the word "fart."

So I yelled from my room, "Guys. Cut it out!"
Garrett: "What?  What are we doing?"
Me: "I don't know but quit laughing.  No more 'pee pee, poo poo.'"
Parker busts out laughing even harder.
Me: "Parker, seriously.  Cut it out.  it's not funny."
Garrett: " Pee Pee, Poo Poo is ALWAYS funny!  I don't care WHO you are."

Boys!

This Time There is No Relation - Beverly Hills, Hillbillies and Tattoos

Huh?  What?
What day is it?
Where am I?
Someone said it was Friday.
I'll go along with it.
I obviously need to clear out my head.

Go over and see Mrs. 4444 at Half-Past Kissin' Time, play along and link up.

* I've been substituting for Early Morning Seminary this week.
It's a scripture study class for teenagers that starts at 6 am - the 6 am BEFORE school.
It's one thing to be the student who comes dragging in wearing sweats, plops down in a chair and remains in a semi-comatose state with the Bible on their lap.  And it's entirely different to be the teacher in a dress and heels, leading the three ring circus. So for some CRaZY reason, I'm tired.
No it's more than that.
I'm brain dead.


* Overheard last night -
"I think Lady Gaga should get together with the Goo Goo Dolls.  It would be known as GaGa GooGoo"


* Also overheard -
"I do not want to mow lawns this summer.  What can I do for a job?"

"You could invest in microloans."

"No, I have to find something to sell to drunken hillbillies at the racetrack on weekends."

What???????????


* It's my mom's birthday today!

HaPPY BiRTHDaY MOM!
She's celebrating in a BIG way.
I can't tell you.
It's extremely personal and it involves her colon.
That woman knows how to party!


* I'm not a TV watcher.
But for some crazy reason, I LOVE LA Ink.
I don't even like tattoos.
I can't think of a single bumper sticker I'd put on my car, much less a permanent tribute I'd put on my ass body.
It hasn't been on for two weeks now.
I guess that disjointed episode we watched a few weeks ago was the "season fnale."
Thanks for telling us.
No worries though.  I'll get to the bottom of it.
I'm paying a personal visit to the High Voltage shop next weekend.
Won't that be funny!

* Next weekend is the much talked about and awaited nuptials of my next door neighbor and Armand Hammer III - also known as Armie.
I hope I've turned in my RSVPs for the 27 events.
Welcome Reception at the Beverly Wilshire - check
Rehearsal Dinner at the Hammer Museum - check
Guided Beverly Hills Tour - uncheck - that's when I'm sneaking to the "dirty" part of town to check out LA Ink's pad.
Ceremony - check
Reception in Malibu - Check
After-Party in the Penthouse of the Beverly Willshire - check - kinda - Remember, it's a surprise DJ and it goes until dawn.  I am totally up for a party.  I am a party Queen!  As long as I can get to bed by 7:30 pm.
Farewell Brunch - uncheck - not going to make it.  We have to be on an early morning flight in order to get home for Garrett's graduation from seminary.
I know.
You want pictures.


I gotta go lie down! 
Have a great weekend!

How to RUIN Yor Child's Life

I have failed as a mother!
I destroyed all of Garrett's dreams that he didn't even know he had .
I have squashed Garrett's fantasies of being rich and famous in Hollywood.
I don't even know why I told on myself.
He was mad for about 3 seconds when I told him that I turned down the opportunity of a lifetime FOR him.


The modeling agent called the other day and told me that a famous children's television station was starting a new television show and they were interested in "seeing" Garrett for a part.


The agent even sent me the outline of the show - it's like Glee for children.
And to think I pooh poohed Glee just a few weeks ago.
Anyway, it listed the name of the show, the premise and all of the main characters.


The sow is about 5 teenagers who meet in detention (like Breakfast Club?) and form a garage band.
The part that they wanted to talk to Garrett about was a 16 year old popular jock who also plays a guitar or violin or something - see I already forgot.
Garrett was aghast that I would let such an opportunity slip through his my hands.
Pffftttttt.


Then he came to his senses and remembered that he leaves for college in 5 weeks.  FIVE WEEKS!
And he plans to go on a mission in Decemberish.
So unless this famous children's television station wanted Garrett to be the big stud of their series and kill him off for Christmas...........it just doesn't make a lot of sense.
Okay that and the fact that he didn't have the part locked up anyway.
An interview does not give you the part.


But it's cool.  I'll take the blame.
So much for fame and fortune.


Wait!  Holy Cow!  I just googled key words - the only key words I could remember and lo and behold, the agent wasn't lying.  I did hear him correctly and read the email right.  The famous children's television station is "planning on  ' - - - - - - - - " being the next High School Musical franchise."
Oops!