Eating/Ironing My Way Through My Birthday

Everyone who knows me knows that I LOVE food. I really love butter, and cookies, and salad, and bacon, and ICC*, and Chinese food, and Mexican food and junk food, and....well...........just about any food.

So what better way to celebrate my 29th birthday than to EAT! Seriously, it's all about THE FOOD, okay, and the people, cuz no one likes to eat alone!

Brian and I got up and went to Sam#3 for some eggs (over medium), bacon (extra crispy), hashbrowns (extra crispy), and toast (extra butter) washed down with ICC.

Just a couple hours later, I was starving. I went to lunch at
I almost always order one of two things: this omelette with bacon, jack cheese and avocado

or a small Chopped Cobb Salad with French Onion Soup and a Buttermilk Spice Muffin (with EXTRA butter).
It wasn't a hard decision since I pretty much came to lunch straight from breakfast and I already knew the dinner menu. Phew!

Luckily, dinner wasn't until 6:30. That gave me time to go home and wait for friends and family to come by bearing gifts. And while I was waiting, you'll never guess what I did! Iron a set of sheets! Seriously, I need some heavy duty analysis. And just so you know, I no longer FOLD my ironed sheets. THAT was really bugging me.........iron them so there are no wrinkles...fold them and wrinkle them. I iron and minimally fold them to HANG on a hanger. Someone should consider giving me a gift card to a therapist for my next birthday!

But hey, at least I don't iron my children's UNDERshirts anymore. I'm cured of that. And I certainly DO NOT iron my children's sheets

So after the ironing and gift receiving, it was time for............FOOD! Unbelievably, I was starving when dinner came around. We went to my mom's for the best meal of the day!
Prime Rib (I like mine a little more toward well, so I got the end cut), Popovers (two - with BUTTER), Green Salad with Feta and Pomegranate, Twice Baked Potatoes, and a Birthday Razzleberry Pie with Ice Cream.

I did get lots of nice presents from everyone. Each gift was really thoughful. My gift givers were no slouches. But I can't deny that food is the way to my heart.

I can't believe I woke up hungry this morning. A phenomenon that never ceases to amaze me.

So all in all, it was a very successful birthday: FOOD, FRIENDS, gifts, crisp sheets, and FUN!

*Ice Cold Coke

Heard in the Car

You've already gathered that we are a family who likes to tease. And everyone is pretty good at laughing at themselves. So ride along with us to church and listen in on this...............

Me: "So Parker........who are you going to kiss at midnight at the Stake Dance?"

Parker: "I don't know. I've been thinking about that."

Silence ensues and time passes.

Parker: "Yeah, It's pretty stupid that all the stakes don't have their New Year's Eve dances together."
Garrett: "It's ALWAYS been like that."

Parker: "I know. I'm just saying it's stupid."

Me: "Well! Now we know that the person Parker is thinking of kissing is in the other stake and won't even be at the dance."

Parker: "No. No. That's not it. Beside getting a 14-year-old girl to kiss is like getting a horse to do a triple back flip."

Well, I'm not going to encourage him, but his brothers didn't have any problems getting horses to do triple back flips. I think it's because Parker is much more gentlemanly than his brothers (or chicken.)

Mean, Mean Parents

After the boys opened a couple of gifts, they received a small package addressed to both of them. Parker opened it:

and threw it across the room. On it was written, "I heard you needed some pads. From Santa"

The boys were outraged. "What kind of sick joke is this?" "Who gave this to us?" And they immediately blamed Grandma..............who didn't deny it. But no one fessed up or explained.

A couple of presents later, there was another package addressed to both of them. Garrett opened it: Written on the outside was "I heard you needed some pads. From Santa." This wasn't tossed across the room with the same vehemence, but the boys moved on to other gifts quickly, without trying to interpret the gift.

Finally, close to the end of present opening, there was one more gift addressed to both of them. They argued over who was going to get to open it. I don't remember who won, but they opened this:.

And of course, on the top of the memo pad was written, "I heard you needed some pads. From Santa."

Parker was confused. Garrett got it right away. After clueing Parker in, they asked, "Okay...........we need pads! Where are they???"

These were too bulky to wrap and plus we're mean and like to play jokes even on that most loving day of the year. We cannot help ourselves. We're sick and twisted like that.

I directed them to the dining room, where resting on chairs, they found the pads! The REAL pads. The pads they needed.

Traditions - Presents & Wrapping

Real quick! I'll tell you about presents and wrapping and then I've got to get back down to Santa's workshop (the wrapping room).

You may not think you have family traditions regarding wrapping. But you probably do. Growing up, it was tradition that my mom would tag things incorrectly. Midway through unwrapping something that looked promising, she would sit up, adjust her glasses and say, "Wait! That's not yours! That's for Jared." We would groan and the half opened present would be thrown across the room to the real giftee. The other tradition was that after all the presents were opened, my mom would look around the room and say, "Gina, show me your new watch." I would look confused, "I didn't get a new watch." Mom: "Yes you did. I remember buying you a Barbie watch with interchangeable bands. I swear I wrapped it." I'd shrug. Mom, in her caftan, would get up and go upstairs and rummage around her closet for awhile. She may or may not come down with the watch.

So here are some of our traditions. EVERYTHING is wrapped. We rarely leave unwrapped toys from Santa under the tree. He wraps most everything.

So what is different about our wrapping and present traditions?

First, NOTHING is put under the tree before Christmas. NOTHING! All gifts are wrapped and stored in trash bags and hidden somewhere. Once the children go to bed on Christmas Eve, the bags are dragged out and everything is put under the tree. It's so fun to go to bed with nothing under the tree and then wake up to WAH LAH a pile of presents. (It looks bigger and more dramatic this way too! ;) ) So even when presents arrive from out of town family, they are quickly hidden with the other presents. There is nothing to shake, rattle or peek at under our tree.

Once the presents are wrapped, we tag them with the traditional "To and From" stickers. But to make it more fun, I always include a little comment or riddle or song lyrics or an inside joke. So a tag might read, "To the King of the Hill...now return mine, Love Dad." And the present would be new gloves to replace the one's that were stolen by Trammell. Or "To Garrett & Parker - No Fighting" on a video game. "Shaken not stirred" on a James Bond video. You get the corny idea! Sure, sometimes the clues give the present away...that's the point. They are opening it right now anyway.

So you can guess this one: "To Brian - What's black and blue and worn all over?"

Sometimes we play tricks on the kids with our gift giving. (Aren't we nice parents?) There was the year that the kids asked for things that were out of our budget. But we bought them and then on Christmas morning, we played, "Let's Make a Deal." I can't remember if it was the year the IPOD first came out or the year Trammell wanted a video camera. Whatever it was, it was like $300. We wrapped it up in a huge box and said that he could have what was in the box for $100. I know! We're awful. We made him BUY his Christmas gift from us! He figured that it was Christmas and we wouldn't rip him off. He forked over $100 and we gave him the present to open. He got a good deal. That same year, Garrett wanted an electric guitar and amp. Once again, out of the budget. But he saw that his brother got a good deal, so when it was his turn to hand over $50 or $75 he quickly handed it over. He opened the box and there was a dirty pair of shoes in it. (We are soooo mean.) He knew that we were joking though and we directed him to a closet door and told him to open door number #2 and there were the guitar and amp!

One year we bought both a PS3 and an XBOX360 including controllers and games for both. We wrapped all the items up in matching paper and stacked them on the hearth. All the XBOX items were in one stack and all the PS3 items were in another. We then put a big sign above them that said, "Choose one." They all got together and decided which stack to open. Of course, we let them open both stacks and look everything and then decide, but it was fun to here them debate which pile to open.

We usually manage to do something tricky with things like pool tables, bikes, scooters, air hockey tables, snowboards and the like. We've had treasure hunts, guests show up to present the gift, strange phone calls, text messages, ding dong ditching and all kinds of adventures. That makes it fun.

But there is going to be a change in tradition if I don't get back downstairs and get wrapping!!!!

Christmas Traditions - Cookies

Let me just get this out there first thing - The pictures on this post are not of MY COOKIES. We've eaten all the cookies. And the crazy thing about cookie making is that when you are in the middle of creaming two pounds of butter and your kitchen is in a powdered sugar haze, the last thing you think of is , "WAIT! I need to take pictures for my blog!"

With that being said, the pictures represent the cookies that we made (and ate), only ours look and taste better! ;)

So, just like many households, one of our traditions is cookie baking. The problem with our tradition is that it is not a one time event. We do not set aside one day or one evening to make tons of cookies. Starting December 1st, we just start baking whenever we feel like it or we have a free half hour.

We do have family favorites that we make over and over. I mean over and over the same holiday season. Like Snowballs .

We have made and eaten three double batches of these so far and I'm feelin a craving comin on! So these might be on order for tonight. It's not Christmas without consuming at least 1,000 of these.

Another family favorite with everyone (except Brian) is Molasses Cookies.

The only difference between the ones pictured is that we frost them with Buttercream Frosting and then add holiday sprinkles. Nothing says "Merry Christmas" than holiday sprinkles! And sometimes when we're feeling extra holidayish, we actually roll the dough out, cut them into reindeer/gingerbread shapes and decorate them with frosting and cinnamon red hots. Call me Martha!

Brian and Parker love, love, love Pecan Tassies.

They are minature pecan pies. They are really easy to make and a reminder of Thanksgiving.......in case you didn't get enough pie then.

Almost everyone (those who are Bah Humbug about these shall remain nameless) loves Peanut Butter Blossoms

We usually make the traditional Christmas Sugar Cookies

But in order to save my sanity, we haven't tackled these yet this year. I am unable to just slap frosting on and call them good. I HAVE to frost them neatly and with multiple colors and then with coordinated sprinkles. Reindeers have to have eyes, snowmen have to have buttons and carrot shaped noses, bells with ringers and all the details of snowflakes spelled out with glittery sugar. We'll see if we get to these.

We also usually make Butter Spritz Cookies. But we haven't made these yet either because while I love the execessive butter in these, I don't like anything that is messy. All the food coloring, all the putting dough in the cookie press and cleaning it out. I just don't like that part. But these could be a possibility for tonight as well. Good thing I have 16 pounds of butter in the freezer!

We have made a couple of new cookie recipes this year: Chocolate Crackles, which is a testament to my love and devotion and self sacrificing nature because I hate chocolate and I ate 1/3 of a cookie. But Garrett and Parker really wanted them. Garrett calls them by their politically correct name; "Michael Jackson Cookies."

We also made a batch of Oatmeal Candy Cane Cookies which are excellent for breakfast with an ice cold Coke.

Holy Cow! We've made (and eaten) a lot of cookies and here it is the Sunday before Christmas with nary a cookie in the house! That stinks because without cookies, what do you eat for breakfast?

Special thanks to Margaret for letting me (well she didn't exactly let me cuz I never asked) steal her spritz cookie from her blog.

Not Quite a Retraction/Christmas Party Review

Melissa (in my ward and the person in charge of the program for the Ward Christmas Party) would like a retraction. While I cannot retract my previous comments because we all know that 9 out of 10 parties are like what I described, I can tell you my faithful readers (all two of you) what DID happen at the party. Melissa was very busy making sure the program came off without a hitch so she didn't see me. But I was there. And always one to go above beyond because I rely heavily on "works" for my eternal salvation, I brought not ONE pan of enchiladas but TWO. We arrived at 6:35 and the party was totally organized and dinner was READY to go. Unlike most ward parties 1) It started on time and 2) was totally organized. We do have a great activities committee in our ward. I liked how they had a table to the side, where you could go and make a Christmas card for a friend or neighbor. It was set up before, during and after the dinner so if you weren't visiting or whatever, you could just go over there and make a card. I loved that the program was short, spiritual and all the performers were really good. Nothing lame about the talent. The member of the bishopric did "invite" parents to keep their children with them and be respect the reverent nature of the program. MOST people did that. The parents who we were sitting with, had their 2 1/2 -3 year old sit on their laps. However, a lot of people didn't hear that comment (I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt) or ignored it. I was toward the middle of the cultural hall and should have sat up front.....it was way quieter up there. But in the middle, children ran between the tables toward the back and then back to the middle. One group of children crawled around all of the tables and the poor little girl at our table was crying "I want to crawl. I want to crawl." But her parents wouldn't let her down. Melissa also mentioned that she would have preferred an adults only party but the powers that be wanted a family party. Of course, there is no activities committee on earth that wouldn't prefer an adults only party. But that is why Bishops are in charge, because they are about 1000 times more Christlike than the rest of us and see the big picture and know that Christmas parties aren't about food, adults, etc..........they are about fellowship, missionary work and helping children feel the Spirit. Just one of the many reasons I will never be bishop. So no retraction, because the party I described is more of the norm. But KUDOS to Melissa and the activities committee for a well-planned and executed party. KUDOS to the activities committee chairperson who did announce at the begining of the party, "Parents, please keep your children with you. Please keep your children from running in the halls." KUDOS to the couple who sat with us for not letting their little girl run around. That was hard. KUDOS to the bishop for following inspiration.

You Better Be Good!

I know what hell looks like!

And having seen it, I am very motivated to clean up my act and start obeying as many commandments as possible. And I'll give you a glimpse. If you aren't good, you are going to the kingdom of ETERNAL WARD FAMILY CHRISTMAS PARTIES!

You will be damned to a giant cultural hall with warm lime/pineapple jello and cold green beans......unrecognizable dishes from strangers who have cats that walk on the counter........... rows and rows of scarred church tables covered with wet paper tables cloths and tipped over water glasses.........with parents cheerfully chatting and children all hopped up on the promise of Santa, taking off their shoes and running and sliding on the slippery floor........with a skinny Santa and mass chaos!

Can you be afraid of ward parties? I'm not afraid of ward parties pre se. I'm only afraid of Ward FAMILY Christmas Parties. I hate ward Christmas parties that include children. I know, I know. I'm evil. Christmas is about children and Jesus and giving and children and charity and children. I just don't like them - the parties with children.

Have you been to a Ward FAMILY Christmas Party? Maybe it's just my experience. But here is what I see -

Okay, okay, I'm taking a deep breath. I'll list my fears.....get em out there and then move on.

*Christmas sweaters
*Silverware out of the drawer from THAT kitchen - all church kitchens are filthy *Unknown foods glopped in bowls
*People tasting food at the serving table
*Children putting their fingers in the jello
*Sugar water punch
*Children going through the buffet line unaccompanied and taking ALL the olives and six desserts
*Oblivious adults - Wife: "Honey, will you watch the kids?" Husband: "We have kids?" Wife: "Seriously sweetie, could you serve them their dinner? I haven't gotten out of the house since Wednesday night enrichment and girls night out last night so can you watch them for a minute?" Husband: "Oh yeah. Sure. I'll be right back." She talks to her friends that she just got off the phone talking to 10 minutes before they came to the party and he is standing in a cluster with his friends planning one last basketball game for 10 pm on December 24th. There is mayhem in the cultural hall as children throw dinner rolls, crawl under tables with slices of ham, lick the frosting off their cake and then leave the plate in the middle of the floor..........I'm hyperventilating again.

I can't do it!
I'm making enchiladas so I have to go.
I think I can do it.

But I'm turning over a new leaf. I'm setting goals. I'm going to be more Christlike so I don't go to eternal ward party hell. And the first Christlike quality I will strive to develop is...................CHARITY!