Drama At Its Finest

Here is a little email exchange that I thought you might appreciate.
Names have been changed

SUBJECT: STUFF AND THEN SOME
FROM: JulieHelper@aol.com
DATE: May 31, 2009

Hi all! I know this is usually Lucy’s job but Ann asked me to email everybody to see who's planning on coming this week for Book Group.

It seems like there are a lot of things going on and people may not be able to go. We were wondering if people would like to maybe push it to the 11th. Just "reply all" to this email and let us know what works best for you.

Thanks, Julie

PS. LUCY - my emails aren't as updated as yours for everyone so if you could forward this on to anybody I missed, that would be great!

I won’t bore you with all of the replies but Ann – the hostess of the book club this month just had back surgery 10 days ago. Most of the replies said that either day worked for them.


SUBJECT: STUFF AND THEN SOME
FROM: LUCY@aol.com
DATE: June 1, 2009

This week is best for me, I cant do the 11th


SUJECT: No Meeting Tomorrow Night
FROM: JulieHelper@aol.com
DATE: June 3, 2009

Hi All! It looks like Book Group will be on the 11th this month. Still at Ann's and still at 7:30pm. Sorry for any confusion or inconvenience.

See you all then,
Julie


SUBJECT: No Meeting Tomorrow Night
FROM: Lucy@aol.com
DATE: June 4, 2009

I do not know where you got this info, I spoke with Ann and she is still planning on us tomorrow night!!


SUBJECT: No Meeting Tomorrow Night
FROM: AnnHostess@aol.com
DATE: June 4, 2009

I am Sorry Lucy. I tried to call you yesterday and the phone was busy, I am beat up from such a crazy, crazy week.

So when Julie called, and I hadn't seen an email from you I made the decision to change it. I'm so sorry! Please forgive the sudden change.

Thank You,
Ann

BOOK Group will be on the 11th.


SUBJECT: Book Club
FROM: Lucy@aol.com
DATE: June 4, 2009

Dear Sisters,
I have contacted the RS and requested to be released from this calling, thanks to those who have supported me.

Lucy

I wasn't planning on going to book club, but I think I will now.

UPDATE from TRAMBODIA

Just as a little update:
Trammell is still in Phnom Penh.
He was transferred to a different part of Phnom Penh to work in a threesome for one week.
One of his companions was then transferred to be the Assistant to the Mission President in the office and the other companion went home.
He then received a new (as in fresh off the airplane) companion from America and another new (as in new to the area) companionship to work the area with.
So he was supposed to show them around and introduce them to members and investigators.....even though he had only been there one week.

He is loving his mission.
He loves his companion.
He loves the Cambodians.
He's Trammell: he loves life.

So he wrote a little email saying that he was just sending a short email because the Mission President is going home in 3 weeks and requested that all the elders email him about something they have learned while on their missions.

Here is Trammell's -

"My favorite line of Preach My Gospel is: “As your understanding of Atonement of Jesus Christ grows, your desire to share the gospel will increase.” T

he experience that I am most grateful for in my mission are the experiences with the Atonement that I have been able to witness and that have helped me to personally come unto my Savior Jesus Christ and have strengthened my faith in Him and in the power and reality of His truly infinite and eternal Atonement.

I remember, in my first area, a family of five who had three boys, just like my family. I remember that when I first got there, we hadn’t started teaching the father, but after a little while he finally started joining in.

At first he didn’t really understand and we questioned his belief and understanding, yet after a while he started leading his family in walking along the gospel path. One of my last nights there, we learned of how miraculous this truly was. He said that before he started learning with us, he hated his family and was scared of his wife. He said that he would go out and drink every night, and then come home and start to beat his children until his wife came out and yelled at him to stop. His wife added that he also had issues with the Law of Chastity for which she wasn’t sure that she could forgive him.

From just that one experience, I saw the power of the Atonement. I saw that the Atonement of Jesus Christ, and only the Atonement, could heal this entire family, and it had just begun to do so. I saw that the Atonement had the power to help a drunken father, change his heart to quit drinking, quit hitting his children, and start loving them again. I saw that the Atonement had the power to bring a husband and a wife separated through sin, together in love and forgiveness, but that only the Atonement of Jesus Christ had the power to do so, and that they could only do it through Him.

Then in my second area, I met a man who had just become a member. He had a wife and two daughters, yet the Atonement was what had held them together. Before he had joined the church, he too had issues with the Law of Chastity and Word of Wisdom. Before, he didn’t even know if he could love his wife anymore, and had even tried to start other relationships. Yet after he had repented, and after he had joined the church, I saw that he truly loved his family, that he truly loved his daughters and his wife, and that it was only possible through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

He helped us teach an older man who had a rough relationship with his family because his wife was Vietnamese and her kids didn’t speak Cambodian. He would always say he thought it was better if he was just by himself without his family. Yet I watched as the Atonement healed this family and changed their hearts so that they loved each other and wanted to go the temple with each other to be sealed as an eternal family.

I saw a Cambodian father who didn’t know a word of Vietnamese start to love his Vietnamese children, who didn’t know a word of Cambodian. He also told us that before, he used to be a mean guy. He said that he used to carry a gun, shoot people, drink, and only cared about himself. But as he learned with us, and as the Atonement worked in his life, he became a loving father, a loving husband, and a worthy priesthood holder.

Finally, however, I am most grateful to my Heavenly Father for my own personal experience with the Atonement of the Savior that I have been able to have because of my service here as a missionary. Before my mission, I went through the motions. I may have gone to seminary, but I didn’t know the scriptures in depth. I didn’t know what living the gospel truly meant. I didn’t know what the Atonement truly was. I still don’t, but through the blessing of being able to serve as a missionary, I have come to understand just a little portion of that.

I have seen that as I have yielded myself to His will and to His commandments, I have been purified, I have been healed, I have come to know Him, and understand just a little portion of His love. As I said, I still don’t know it completely, but I know that it is through the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the experiences that I have had here in my mission, I have come to set my life on the right path to truly find joy, peace, and salvation. I wouldn’t be there if it weren’t for this experience serving a mission, and for the Atonement of Jesus Christ, which is why I am eternally grateful for.

I think of one of my favorite quotes by President Gordon B. Hinckley when he talked about the blessing of a mission. He talked about how some missionaries think that the Lord owes them blessings, but truly, this mission will set our life’s on the right path to receive His blessings, and that for our sacrifice and for our work, we will be blessed for our lives. I have seen that and realized that as I think about where I was in my life at this time even a year ago, and am eternally grateful to my Heavenly Father that He has allowed me this opportunity to serve Him as a full-time missionary, so that I may have my own personal experience with the Atonement of Jesus Christ, and set my life on the right path.

I can now bear testimony and witness that the Atonement of Jesus Christ is real. That in the Garden of Gethsemane, He took upon Himself our sins, our afflictions, our weaknesses, and our sicknesses. This was a choice of His. He could have known by revelation how to help us, yet, I bear witness that He still took these things upon Himself in the flesh, and as a result He can succor us. I know that with that pain, He shed His precious, holy, royal blood from every pore, and that with each drop of blood is His love and His mercy. I know that on the cross He suffered even more, and that His suffering in the garden and on the cross is beyond our comprehension, yet He chose to die, because He knew the Lord’s will, and He knew it had to be done for our Salvation. I know that three days later, He rose from the dead, and that He lives today! I know He lives! I know He is the Savior, I know He is the Redeemer, and it is in His name, Jesus Christ, I say these things, amen."

And NOW, I'm a Cold-Hearted, Stalking, MURDERER!

I told you it would come to this.

I couldn't be satisfied with just little sins.

One thing led to another and now, I'm a murderer (almost.)

Oh....and this is not my first! I'm a serial murderer.

While working in the yard,

I came across two spider webs.

I'm pretty much a professional at recognizing black widow webs.

These were black widow webs.

I forgot where I saw one of them (luckily)

but one was in the granite wall..........
the same granite wall where the "other" black widows posed for prom pics.

They are far away from the house.

The spiders only come out at night,

but I couldn't leave well enough alone.

I can't control myself.

Night after night,

I snuck outside with a flashlight to see exactly where the spider was hanging out.

Then, I snuck out with the flashlight AND a Mason jar.

Why a Mason jar?

How about a large rock to smash it?

How could I possibly hold the flashlight and manuever the Mason jar around the spider on the web to catch it?

Why do I have to catch it?

The thought of KILLING the black widow gives me the heebie jeebies,

but catching it in a jar is perfectly normal.

So after a couple of nights and a few attempts,

I caught the black widow.

Now what?

Well, back in the elementary school days, we took it to school for "Show and Tell." The teachers really appreciated it!

But there isn't any "Show and Tell" in high school and the boys are used to Mason jars with black widows sitting around.

Doesn't it make total sense to put the jar on my desk and just let it sit there?

I CAN'T KILL IT!!!!!!!!

The very thought freaks me out!

But it's okay that it sits in a jar slowly dying.

Why doesn't it creep me out when with a sudden burst of energy, the spider leaps up and crawls around the jar?

Why can't I smash it?
Why can't I flush it down the toilet?

How about if I throw the jar in the trash and let the trash man take it?

RANDOM THOUGHT TUESDAY

It's Random Thought Tuesday with Unmom/ Keely. I've always wanted to play along, but my random thoughts usually come on other days.

* I'm always (Okay, almost always) hungry. Once, I thought I had worms. I won't gross you out with that story. But I totally understand teeneagers who open the refrigerator, hang on the door, proclaim that their is nothing to eat, go to the pantry and do the same thing and then return to the refrigerator. As if something magically appeared in the last 30 seconds.

* Someone knows that I LOVE cupcakes! They brought these over last night.

It used to say "THANK YOU" but now it only says "Than Yo" cuz I shared with Garrett and Parker. Guess what I had for breakfast?

*There are some things (well, a lot of things) I just don't get. If you are against killing people, what makes you get a weapon and gun someone down?

*The two swimsuits I ordered arrived. Yea!!! I'm keeping one for sure. The other one was only available in XS and when I called the store, the 17 year-old talked me into it. Hmmm.......

* I wish school was over..........a month ago. The end of this week is finals. And it's finals for Margaret and I too! We serve our last Teacher Appreciation meal to 300 on Thursday.

Well, that's it - kind of random!

My MORAL COMPASS is Broken!

What has come over me?
I’m lying, cheating and stealing!

I am just traipsing down the primrose path to hell....
yes, the same one that is paved with good intentions,

but I don't even have THOSE!

LYING:
Garrett took the AP Language test in mid-May. Right after that, his teacher explained that because she 9 months pregnant and due any day, they weren’t starting any new projects.

The other three AP Lang classes started new books or new writing units. Garrett’s teacher told them that IF they came to class, they would be watching movies. She said they didn’t have to come to class but then they would have to get their parents to excuse them.

Then she turned in the grades…..Garrett has an A.

Would you go to class?

So I find myself lying………and they are lame lies
“Hi, this is Gina Cox calling and Matthew Garrett Cox will be missing 3rd period today because……….uh…..he has an appointment. He’ll be back for 4th period.”
Wow! Really???

I can’t call and lie every other day. Seriously, who has appointments every other day at 11 am?

CHEATING:
We used Memorial Day to clean out our shed and garage.

You should see the pile of treasure we hauled to the curb for trash day:
two sleds, a string trimmer, bags of yard debris, a broken pitch fork thingy, old drain pipe…..plus all the regular trash.

I was sitting at my desk when the trash man pulled up.

He picked up the main trash can and dumped it.

Then he stared at the large pile. He picked up the string trimmer and started trying it out. He set it back down in the trash pile.

I grabbed $10 out of my purse and ran out to the curb.
“Are you going to be able to take all this?” I asked, as I shoved the money into his gloved hand.
I don’t think he speaks English but he nodded, picked up the string trimmer and hucked into the truck.

STEALING:
It’s not really stealing.
But remember the After Prom fandango?

The movie theater donated 4 – 48 gallon bags of theater popcorn on the condition that it would be served 1 hour after we picked it up. We even had to provide a letter stating such.
Well, we picked it up at 10:30. We started serving it at 12.

At 4 a.m., there was still one bag left.

I think you already know where it ended up.
We ate it for a week. But even after a week, there had to be 30 gallons of illegal popcorn left in that bag.

And it was just sitting in the kitchen.

And we were done with it.

Our trashman had already come this week (see cheating.).

Friday was my neighbor’s trash day………so I took it to her curb.

I wish I could have seen the trashman’s face when he pulled up to the clear bag with 30 gallons of popcorn.

So, when you see me on the front page of the newspaper, having been convicted of some major crime, you can shake your head and say, "I saw it coming!"

I'M EMBARRASSED FOR YOU!

Dear Denver Post -
REALLY???? You are really wondering why your newspaper isn't selling? A FRONT PAGE article on Cougars? Is THIS news? Is THIS Front Page news?

Didn't the legislature meet and vote on anything yesterday? Couldn't you find the mayor and ask him how summer tourism projections are looking? Couldn't you do a piece on the refugee who moved from one of the "stan" countries when they were three, had nothing, but pulled herself up by her bootstraps and graduated from University of Denver? Couldn't you have done an article about how all the budget cuts will affect area school districts next year?

THIS article was your very best NEWS article? I'm disgusted.

Dear COUGARS,
REALLY???? You told your story to the newspaper? My husband says that when you talk to the media, you come out looking one of two ways: DUMB or DUMBER.

So you had a good night last night and you woke up this morning with......NOTHING! Except a headache and a dress that needs to be dry cleaned.

Does being the predator instead of the prey really change anything? The end result is the same.

When a man is out on the prowl, we don't call him a cougar. We call him a PIG!

Where is your mother???? "This is what society handed me?" "We're looking for people we can love. It's not about anything else."

Dressed in a low cut leopard print dress and hanging out in a bar, you aren't looking for love.......you're looking for sex. I'm digusted.

This was a FRONT PAGE ARTICLE in our newspaper yesterday -

"Cougars" on the prowl in Colorado nightclubs

Beyond the stereotypes of predatory "cougars" over 35 dating younger men, there's rising income, numbers — and acceptance


Self-proclaimed urban cougars, Melanie Olson, 44, left, and Christine Spuehler, 44, right, prowl a bar in Highlands Ranch, Colo., May 13, 2009.

Sitting at Elway's glittering bar in a slinky dress and strappy heels, Christine Spuehler, 44, is alluring by any measure.
And ageless, too, with blond hair spilling around her face. Men a decade or two her junior approach at this legendary lounge, known for hooking up as much as for its frosty martinis and celebrity owner. The Castle Rock woman has dated several younger guys since separating from her spouse three years ago.
You could call her a cougar.
But it's not that simple.
"This is what society handed me," said Spuehler, chatting on a recent Thursday night. "I thought when I was in my 20s, I would find somebody and have a beautiful life with him and have children."
Exit the husband. Enter the fawning young men.
Spuehler, like many middle-aged women, is single, financially secure and interested in romance. By some measures, she typifies what pop-culture lingo has dubbed a cougar — a woman 35-plus willing to date guys a generation-minus.
But cougarism is more complicated than the reductive picture forged in TV shows, comedy monologues and the snide commentary of office e-mails.
Spuehler is no lioness preying upon tender antelope. She wouldn't mind finding a man her own age, she says.
"We're looking for people we can love. It's not about anything else."
For some cougars, at least, dating men who were still in high school during the first season of "American Idol" is less about sex than it is about circumstance.
"There aren't as many men my age who are single and fabulous," said Gail Bridges, 38, sitting in a Boulder coffee shop.
"I try to be open to everything. But you really only meet young dudes in bars."
And the young guys, she said, tend to be "enamored" of older women. "You tell them your age and it does not scare them away," she said. "It draws them in."
The May-December romance concept is not new. Older men, certainly, have been dabbling for centuries (though lately, they've been dubbed

Jessica Hunter, 45, is dating Shane Scott, 30. She dates younger men, she says, because "they are like, 'Hell, yeah, I can do whatever I want.' "

Cougars have been around, too, though not so prominently. Libidinous Mrs. Robinson was a scandalous boy-chaser in 1967's "The Graduate." Even the term cougar has been around since the 1980s.

IDLE HANDS ARE THE DEVIL'S WORKSHOP....ESPECIALLY IF THE HANDS BELONG TO THE BONEHEAD BROTHERS!

The Bonehead Brothers need NO encouragement…or free time for that matter.

HOT TIP for moms of boys – Boys must be kept busy.

It’s actually best if they have 2-3 jobs during the summer.

Boys are nocturnal unless they have been worked into the ground.

So physical labor is good.

Now, you know that Garrett has been gainfully employed for the last 7-8 months at Abercrombie. He has been looking for alternative employment though because (in his words) “They treat us like animals!” Really?????

In his defense, I have heard this from several reliable sources.

I just discount what HE says.

He applied for a Summer LIFEGUARD position back in February. Because he waited so long to apply (?), he received an offer as a substitute lifeguard. He was thrilled. He would be "on call" and work at all the pools in our community. The manager assured him that he would be able to pick up 40 hours a week subbing for people going on vacation etc.

They had a mandatory meeting last week.

If you didn’t attend the meeting, you were FIRED. That’s what they said.

Turns out, if you didn’t attend the meeting AND you didn’t call them the next day by 5 pm, you would be FIRED.

So, Garrett called the manager around 4 pm and asked if by any chance there were open permanent positions. She said she would get back to him a little after 5. He went golfing.

He called meat 5:52 and said he hadn’t heard.

You could hear his disappointment.

Then he called at 6:15 and said, “Sally called.” Long pause.

Me: “And?.......”

G: “There’s not anything.”

I slip into Mom Cheerleader mode: “Well that’s okay!!! You have the sub position and I am sure something will open up.”

G: Silence……….”Not really! I have a permanent position!”
My boys take great pleasure in tricking me. I don’t know WHERE they got it from!!!!

Me: “Wow! Congratulations! That is sooooo great. That is awesome….”

G: interrupting me….”Yeah, but it’s kinda far away…”

Me: “So, it can’t be that far away. All the pools are local. Where is it?

G: “Ummm….It’s at this neighborhood far away. I can’t pronounce it….. It’s spelled C-H-A-P-P-……”

It takes me this long to figure out he is spelling OUR neighborhood!!!!! Yeah, he will be working less than a mile away. His travel time is 2 minutes.

He can come home for lunch.

I can take him lunch.

I can go and embarrass him!

All his friends in the neighborhood will be working at pools that are 20-30 minutes away. They are incredulous that he got THE neighborhood pool. Of all the luck.

But as Garrett likes to say, “It’s a tender mercy.”

We went out the next day to get the requisite gear.

The most important thing to him is THE WHISTLE and of course he had to get the loudest one possible. I HATE that whistle!