Jail? Car Accident? Expulsion?

From now on, whenever anyone calls me, they must start the conversation with "Everything is fine....."


You know what I am talking about!
The phone rang the other day.
I could see "Tiny Baby" on my caller ID.
It was Parker.  He whispered into the phone, "I think I'm going to need you to pick me up?"


I immediately stopped breathing.
My heart started beating 1 million beats per second.
And my stomach twisted into knots.


My brain spun and in just 1/10th of a second I thought -
"Where are you?"
"Are you in trouble?"
"Were you in an accident?"


All I get out is a confused "What?"
Parker: "Can you come pick me up?"


"What?"
Parker: "I'm on the 7th hole and I don't have time to finish."


"What?"
Parker: "I need to leave and get ready for work?"


"What?"  Am I an idiot?  Are you following ANY of this?
"Is something wrong with your car?"


Parker: "No, but I would have to walk back through four holes of golf to get back to the club house.  It would take, like, 25 minutes.  I want to come home and get cleaned up and eat something before I go to work.  Can you come get me?"


Ah hah!  It's all becoming clearer!!
He was golfing at one golf course prior to his shift at the other golf course.
Oh, he's being responsible and instead of just playing out the round and driving like a maniac back to work, he's looking at his watch and calling it.
Well, calling me.  And you could argue that it would be more responsible to figure that out BEFORE you started 9 holes.
But who knew he'd get paired up with ancient, slow people.


And if he hasn't been arrested, totalled his car or gotten expelled from school,
I'm HAPPY to go pick him up!


Just start out the conversation with "Everything's okay......."