*Someone: "If more Americans ate like me, they would be healthier."
Parker: "Oh really?"
Someone: "Yeah. I don't just eat to eat. I don't eat to live. I eat for pleasure. Once I've had 'enough,' I don't just keep eating because the food is there."
Parker: "Yeah. You eat stupidly."
*While clearing dishes from the dinner table,
I hear a dinner guest ask Brian,
"So what is your church calling now? What do they have you doing."
As I hear Brian kindly answer, "Oh, Gina and I are in charge of planning the Pioneer Trek for 400 youth......"
I mumble under my breath.
"Tour guides to hell."
Yep.........that's where I'm going with THAT kind of attitude!
*Brian: "So I hear you guys shot eggs over to the school with the slingshot."
Parker: "Yeah, we wanted to see how far they'd go."
Brian: "Why didn't you use golf balls?"
Parker: Yeah, we could have but I didn't think of it."
Brian: "Well, if you're going to get arrested for vandalism, go big."
What? Who let HIM be a parent?????
*Trammell is down in Little Rock knocking on doors and selling security systems ALL DAY LONG!
And when I say all day, I'm talking from 11:30 am to 9:30 pm.
And sometimes I get text messages like this:
"Did I just leave a house with a huge statue of Jesus in it? Yes. Yes, I did. And was that statue of Jesus black? Yes. Yes, He was."
Notice "He" was capitalized. Black, white, purple, green....always show respect!
*Another text I received from someone else who shall remain nameless to protect her guilt.
"I just broke in ur house and stole some salad dressing. Sorry. But I put a sour cream in ur frig to replace the one I borrowed yesterday."
What a polite thief!
* One more convo that took place with my 2-year-old nephew. Really! He is 28 months and he really did say this!
Me: "Where did you go today?"
G: "Time out!"
Me: "You went to time out?"
G: "Yes." He says "yes" soooo sweetly and happily!
Me: "Hmmmm.......what did you do?"
G: "Skweeming."
Me: "You were screaming?"
G: "Yes."
Me: "Is screaming good or naughty?"
G: "Good!"
Me: "Ohhhh.................."
G: "Naughty."
Me: "Yes. Screaming is naughty!"
G: "And mommy say, 'knock it off!' "
Did she now? What else did Mommy say?
4 comments:
"Tour guides to hell." Hahahaha! I'm going to be laughing about that all day.
....always show respect!
Classic. :)
I'm giggling at "skweeming". So cute.
Your kids make me worry less about my son - I know he's a typical 18 yo kid but my mom makes me feel like he's headed to prison. He just likes to do dumb stuff to show off in front of his friends! They stole a stop sign and my mom acted like they murdered someone.
He just ratted his mommy out!
Well, now. At least Trammell is seeing interesting things as a result of his job. And really? Jesus is Jesus. Yours, mine, theirs.
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