The Midge (cuz he's too short to even be called a midget)
Poopy Parker, (sung to the tune of the SpongeBob Squarepants chorus)
The Groundhog, (also sung and has a dance to it too!)
He's our man! He's such a good sport and he takes all our teasing. For years we have tickled and poked him. We sing songs about him. And we've even threatened to cook him in the oven. I think he still believes it's a real possibility.
Parker turned 14 yesterday. He asked for a fryer. You did not misread that. He asked for a fryer. When I pointed him in the direction of the old Fry Daddy that has been under the stove and unused for 10 years, he became indignant. He wanted a "professional" fryer with temerature controls and a basket. ???? This is like the time he was turning 8 and asked for an KitchenAid mixer. When I told him he could use mine anytime he wanted, he explained he wanted his own because he wanted to put it in his room...............with granite countertops. He said he wanted to convert his room into his own kitchen.
He celebrated by scoring a goal in his lacrosse game, frying up french fries in the new fryer and going to his first Stake Dance.
He said he met lots of cute girls and had a great time. He is busy texting said girls right now. The best part of the night was when a girl who looked quite a bit older asked him to dance. They talked and she asked how old he was. He admitted it was his first dance and asked her how old she was. She said that she was 19 and really wasn't supposed to be there because she was in the singles ward. Parker said, "Really! My dad is the bishop of the singles ward."