HELP! I'm MEEELLLLLTTTING!

I CAN'T BELIEVE I MADE IT TO FRIDAY barely!

Yeah.  I know.  I'm shouting.
But this week has been...........
well, interesting.

* I've turned in to

the Wicked Witch of the West.

Or at the very least,

one of her harpies.

I've never heard someone nag so much!

My kids are going to thrwo some water on me!

I must get a hold of myself!

Thank heavens for Mrs. 4444.

She let's you dump at

Half-Past Kissin' Time

Everybody's doing it!

* In my defense,

it hasn't been the greastest, most fun week of summer ever.

1. I accidentally went to the gynecologist for my annual exam.

It was an accident because - who goes on purpose?
I thought I could get the necessary tetanus shot there (So I was going under false petenses - they thought I cared about my health and I was really just using them - wait, does that make me a whore?  Spreading my legs for a tetanus shot?)

Anyway, it was also an accident because I made the mistake of scheduling my appointment with Dr. McDreamy instead of my usual kind, old, 60ish doctor.

2. I had to go to the county to get my tetanus shot.

One out of 2 adults has a reaction and gets a sore arm, swelling and feels lousy.

There weren't two adults there that day...........so I was the one.

It's been nearly three days and it still hurts to lift my arm.

On the up side, the swelling in my arm makes me look pretty buff.

3. I'm prone to literary exaggeration but not on this!

I have spent nearly 20 - count em - hours on the phone with airlines and travel agents trying to "fix" our flights for Cambodia.

ALL BECAUSE SOME STUPID AIRLINE DIDN'T FEEL LIKE GETTING SHOT DOWN OVER RUSSIAN AIR SPACE AND CHANGED THEIR ROUTING.  Wimps!

I'm shouting again.

Sorry.

Anyway.........I can't give the details until it's all settled and I have all my flights and everybody's I'm happy.

I'm trying to be calm, collected and nice about it.

I haven't sworn AT anybody.

I did however, get a note from an online travel service inviting me to never call them again.

It didn't say it in those exact words,

but that was the gist of the four paragraphs.

I called them again.

Phew ..........didn't anything go well this week?

I'm thinking.

* The Bonehead/Bonsai Brothers bonsai designs went over so well,

(you should see Garrett's water feature and mini lily pads,)

they've been commissioned to make one for someone else.

Oh wait - here's the water feature one -

That will keep them busy today!
That and they are bidding on a mulching job.
Remember - they can fit 1 1/2 yards of mulch in the back of the pick-up truck.
Remember that job they had last week with 16 yards of mulch?
This week's bid includes 35 yards of mulch.
That will keep them busy!
Working kids = Tired Kids
Tired Kids = Kids who aren't lighting off fireworks, staying up all night, roaming the countryside, spending money.
And that equals a Happy Mom!

* It's a long weekend and I have NO plans.
Is that good or bad?
There are a couple of movies I want to see.

* And I think it's probably time to START the countdown.
Are you sick of it already?
Too bad!
11 - Eleven days until we leave for Cambodia to pick up my baby!

It's been two years - Two years- since I've been able to give him a hug and hold his fat, chubby fingers, and now, I'm going to cry just thinking about it and that's probably not good.

Happy Friday!
Happy 4th of July!

Isn't this country the best?

JUST SAYIN'

This week is FLYING by.  The four day weekend certainly helped.
And the fact that so many people are "entertaining" me helps too!


It's Thursday's Writers' Workshop over at Mama Kat's

Go on over and take a look around.
Pick a prompt and write away!


Yesterday, I shared an entertaining string of emails with Trammell in Cambodia.
But there's more where THAT came from
because I'm easily entertained!


I chose -
2.) Relay an entertaining conversation or string of emails you recently had with someone.


On Tuesday, Brian called at about 11:30 and said,
"Hey, why don't you grab the boys and meet me for some lunch and then we can go look for a TV stand (whole other post!)."


Frankly, with there being no school, I was surprised that the boys were even out of bed.
But luckily they were, because Brian was ready to go AND his office was closer to the restaurant.


I went down into the man cave,
saw the boys settled in at their respective TV's with controllers attached to their thumbs starting a Call of Duty marathon and delivered this command:
"Hey guys, kill as many people as you can in the next two minutes and then we gotta go to Smashburger."


Did I really just say that?
What kind of a mother am I?
They came up in two minutes ready to go.


Same day:
Brian: "Have you had your cupcakes?"
Remember, he spent an hour driving to my favorite cupcake store to deliver the goods on Valentine's?
Me: "Yeah, I told the boys they could have one."
Brian: "You're sharing?"
Me: "MmmmHmmmm"
Brian: "You're sharing?"
Me: reluctant to admit it, "Yeah, I know....."
Brian: "WOW! THAT'S Bloggable!"


What's he saying?
Okay.  So sharing is NOT my forte!


And in case your think stupid/entertaining conversations just happen with members of my family -
Here are a couple with my friend and fellow Blogger Margaret from Facts from a Factwoman
Margaret: "Wait, why can't you do it?  What browser are you using?"
Me: mumbling, "EyOhElll."
Margaret: "What?  Why aren't you using...."
Me: cutting her off at the pass, "Look, I'm behind.  When Al Gore was inventing the internet, I was right there with him.  The problem is - he  moved on.  I didn't."


And one more -
The phone rings.
Me: "Hello?"
Maragaret: "You know that thing where you had to fill in the thing?"
Me: "What?"
Margaret: "You know that thing you did and you had to answer that quiz?"
Me: "What?"
Margaret: "You know where you had to invite all your friends?"
Me: "I didn't take any quiz."
Maragaret: "And then at the end you had to enter your cell phone number and guess what?  They charge your cell phone $10 a month."
Me: "Yeah I didn't take any quiz."
Margaret: "You didn't?  It was an IQ test and then it didn't even work.  That app doesn't even work.  AND if you fill in your cell number, they charge you.  Wait.  So you didn't even get to the quiz.  Wow, i took the whole IQ test. I guess we know who has a higher IQ- the person who didn't even take the quiz."
Me: "Yeah - I'm putting you down on my "Stupid" conversation list."
Maragaret: "Gee thanks!"


What are friends for?
I'm off to have some more entertaining conversations!

When's National DONUT Day?

It's TUESDAY!
It's RaNDoM THouGHT TueSDaY

 with Keely at The Unmom.
Get on over there and join up!

But first!
* It's National Bagel Day.

What?  If there's a National Bagel Day, there's got to be the the even better DONUT DAY and the most important National CUPCAKE DAY!
And who decides it's National Anything day?
Brueggers Bagel's declared February 9th National Bagel Day (of course they did.)
I'm researching................
Thank heavens.......the world is not completely off its axis.

National Donut Day is the first Friday in June.  Mark your calendars!

Wait.......what the????
National Cupcake Day was January 5th? or February 1st?  February 5th?  or last October 18th???
HOW DID I MISS THESE DAYS?????
What kind of friends are YOU that you didn't even TELL ME?
Much less bring CUPCAKES over????
December 15th was National Lemon Cupcake Day?

* Today is trash day.
Don't you hate it when you get the BRILLIANT idea (because the pickles just fell out) to clean your refrigerator the day AFTER trash day.
Well, I'm way ahead of the game.
I'm going to clean the refrigerator out today BEFORE the trash man comes (if I finish blogging in time - because I've got my priorities)

* Today is the BIG day.  The BIG BIG day!
Tonight is "Grandview's Got Talent" at the high school.
And while that is arguable, Garrett is performing tonight!
Get ready!!!  You won't want to miss it.
We'll see if we can find someone who can video it AND upload it.
But I'll let you in on the performance.
So remember that white blazer I showed you last week?

He's wearing that......with white pants, white shoes (with gold dragons), a white hat, white sunglasses and a "tribal" (his words, not mine) necklace.
Oh.......you didn't hear me say anything about a shirt?
There's no shirt.
He and a friend are playing the violin and viola.
They start out with a recognizable boring song and then break into a medley of 8 hip hop songs.
I think the "no shirt" and sunglasses kind of give THAT away.

* At the dress rehearsal, Garrett was on one side of the stage and a random girl (that means I don't know her) was on the other.
She called out, "Garrett what do you have on?"
He posed to show her his jacket.
She asked, "No, under your jacket.  What's on under your jacket?"
He parted his white seersucker jacket like the Red Sea.....to reveal....nothing.
She says warily, "You have a brown T-shirt on?"
THAT'S how dark his skin is. (for a white boy)

* Why do I keep getting email titled, "You Wheelchair Kit is Ready"?

* I emailed my friends yesterday and told them,
If I EVER see you in these -

I will DISOWN you!  And I WILL!
Pajama Jeans!!!!!!!
Have you seen the commercial?
This is worse than Armageddon!  These are WORSE than the pink velour sweats with "JUICY" on the a**.
What's the world coming to?


I better go get that refrigerator cleaned out!
Happy Tuesday!
Never mind the refrigerator - the love of my life just called and he has a Chocolate Twist and a Maple Cake waiting for me at his office.  Gotta run!
Like I said, I HAVE my priorities!

BITTERSWEET HAPPINESS

Nothing is more bittersweet than raising children.
It's hard.  It's messy.  It's frustrating.  But it's mostly pure joy.
The worst part is that if you do your job right, you work yourself right out of job..........
and they leave.

Last night was one of those bittersweet tender evenings.

* Tyler (Bonehead #2) got his mission call!

He gathered his friends in a conference room at the dorms at BYU.
Garrett went to Tyler's house (I KNOW!  You thought that Tyler was my son....I mean just because he slept here 5 nights out of 7.....) to turn Skype on.
Tyler was worried that it wouldn't work or something.
So we gathered in front of the computer at Tyler's house with his family and he opened the big white envelope.
I wish you could see the video.
It's on my FB page and I don't know how to import it to Blogger (it's not my video.)
Tyler is going to the Ukraine Donetsk Mission speaking Russian.
He goes into the MTC on May 5th.
It's perfect, a relief, scary, awesome, and wonderful all at the same time.
There are so many emotions for everyone.........it's too hard to even describe.
Congratulations to Tyler!


* Garrett (Bonehead #2) went to the dress rehearsal for "Grandview's Got Talent."

I know that doesn't sound like it even comes close to getting a mission call. Hang in here with me.
So Garrett had to be at the high school at 6, which is why Tyler opened his mission call at 5.
Then I drove Parker over to the school for lacrosse at 7.
I thought I would drop in the dress rehearsal and see how it was going.
It was chaotic and completely disorganized.........duh!......run by high school students.
But when I came back to pick Parker up at 8:30,
I stopped back by the auditorium.

I wanted to watch Garrett...........
because he's my "baby" and my heart was so full........
and it's as if YOU are onstage.
I was just as nervous and excited and hopeful as he was.
I wanted so much for him.

It was dark.
There was a family of 3 sitting in the very front row of the auditorium.
The rest of the place was empty.
I went down and sat behind them.

A disabled girl was wheeled to the front center of the stage in her wheelchair.
She was in a white formal gown with pink butterflies and feathery tulle.
She had a small tiara on her head.
She looked nervous and scared.
The lady in front of me yelled, "You're going to do great."
She reached up and gripped the microphone.
The music came on and we could see her count to herself......5.....6......7......8.
And she sang along with Miley Cyrus..........

"You tucked me in, turned out the light,
Kept me safe and sound at night,
little girls depend on things like that.

Brushed my teeth and combed my hair,
Had to drive me everywhere,
You were always there when I looked back."

I watched as the parents video the whole thing with tears streaming down their faces.
Tears streamed down my face.

There - in that moment the hopes and dreams for those parents were coming true.
Their daughter was up on stage.
She was beautiful.
She was happy.
She made it in a high school talent show.
Her peers stood in the wings with silent respect, awe and admiration.
For that one moment, that girl was not disabled.
She was soaring.

We all have the same hopes and dreams for our children.
We want them to be happy.
We want them to have friends.
We want them to be accepted for who they are.
We want them to do their best.
We want them to succeed at whatever they do.
We want them to know they are loved.
We want them to grow up to be the same wonderful people they already are - just bigger.

And then........it happens and it is wonderful and joyful and incredible and sad and heartwrenching.

To the Bonehead Brothers -
you make me laugh
you make me yell
you make me cry
I love you both!

Happy Friday!