Thursday, December 30, 2010

A DAY FILLED WITH CUPCAKES!

So I turned 29 yesterday.......again.
Yes, I had Trammell when I was 8.
What of it?


The day was THE BEST!
Because it was filled with food, presents and CUPCAKES!
Parker made sure I was greeted with the "traditional" birthday cake that everyone gets on their birthday -
 The boys presented me with cupcakes - which I neither ate nor shared.  THAT'S what I do!!  I hoard cupcakes.  Okay, I would have eaten one, but I was too full.  And I did share.  I let everyone have some.  Okay, not everyone.....two people.  And not a whole cupcake.  I let them have a 1/2 of a cupcake.  See!  I'm not THAT bad!
When I wasn't out eating or shopping for my birthday presents, I remained at home to accept well wishes and gifts.
My brother and sister-in-law brought me this -
YES! Those are footie pajamas
They also gave me this -
I don't know why Blogger insists on putting it sideways, but you can make SIX cupcakes in JUST 10 MINUTES!

We have a sick, sick family.
Parker gave me this - Yes, it's a dime bag ....well a lot more than a dime bag.  He obviously doesn't "deal."  Cuz that's way more than 15 mgs.  But anyway, he pulled this out of his pocket and said, "I got you some Coke."
"Oh....that's not the kind you wanted.  How about this?"
Yeah - we're a sick, sick family.
I admit it. I'm a Coke addict.  Yes, they know me at McDonalds.  Yes, when they see me walk in, they turn and grab the large cup.  Yes, they let me cut the line.  They see me out of the corner of their eye and while taking someone else's order, they reach back for the large cup, place it on the counter and I just walk up and set my $1.10 (keep the 2 cents change) on the counter, grab the cup and go fill it.  It's a clean transaction.

Darn!  I want to show you what my brother in law made us and what my mother in law gave me but they are in Brian's trunk and he left for the day.
Anyway, it was a lovely, lovely birthday and I can't wait to turn 29 AGAIN next year!

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR!

What?  It's been a week since I last posted?
Where did the time go?
What was I doing?
Probably just sitting around!


I probably wouldn't post for another six months, if it weren't for Keely.
Yeah, I'd just keep sitting around doing nothing.
But luckily its RaNDoM THouGHT TueSDaY over at The Un Mom's.
Go on over and say "hi!."


* We had the most relaxing Christmas ever.
The goal: Sit around in our pajamas all day.
What we did: Sit around in our pajamas all day.
Well, except for me.
I changed into my new t-shirt that the boys got me:
You know you are jealous!


* I attempted to take Christmas pics last week.
What a joke!
Have you ever tried to get three professional models together for ONE SIMPLE PICTURE?
I should have offered them money!
It doesn't help that for the life of me, I CANNOT take pictures.
How come I can't hold the camera straight????
How come I cut off heads?


* Because last week wasn't festive enough, this week is a little bit crazier.
We have parties and celebrations every night.
We have a couple of wedding receptions and then the most important celebration of the year..........
NOT New Year's Eve........MY BIRTHDAY!
Yeah - I'm going to be 29.  Again!


* I should have carried a notebook around all week.
I have never laughed so hard in my life.
The Boneheads have kept me near hysterics except when they INSISTED that I watch them do this:
video
Idiots!
What could go wrong?
Let's see - your clothes could catch on fire.
The flaming ball could hit you in the face.
The ball could go too far and start a fire in a bush.
It could go up on the roof and start a fire.
It could roll under the car and the whole garage could explode.
But other than that, flaming tennis is a spectacular idea!!!


* Well, I've been a little "under the weather."
I spent ALL day in bed yesterday - except the 18 times I ran to the bathroom.
On the positive side, I won't need to set some ridiculous goal to go to the gym to lose those extra holiday pounds!
Gone!
Hopefully, today, I will be able to leave my sickbed and leave the house!
Happy Tuesday!
Happy RaNDoM!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

It MAY or MAY NOT be RTT!

Isn't EVERY day RaNDoM in December?
It is for ME!
But according to Keely, it's only on Tuesdays.
Go on over and see her at The Unmom and try to convince her otherwise!

* No, I am STILL not ready for Christmas!  I WILL be ready on December 25th.  That's how it works around here. 

* My house is ready for Christmas.  I am not.
As Parker says, "Our house looks pretty.............FESTIVE."
I don't know if he intended it to be taken as a compliment, but I will take it as one.
You gotta take em where/when you can!



















* I may or may not send out Christmas cards still.  Yeah - crazy, I know.
When the Boneheads wake up around noon, I may or may not dress them up and pose them in various places looking for a decent shot.  I may or may not rush the photo card down to some one hour place and I may or may not order 100 or so.  We'll see.  If you don't get a card, then I guess I didn't dress them, pose them OR get a decent shot.  So many things can go wrong!  It's like wrestling cats!

* I may or may not have bought 12 boxes of Chex cereal to make the Cox family traditional Chex Mix to give to neighbors and friends.  If we don't bring you some, then I guess we never got around to making it.  Sorry!

* I may or may not go out today to finish buying a "few" things (including stocking stuffers.)  But I may not, because there are still 2 days.  What's the rush?

Good luck with YOUR last minute preparations and MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Monday, December 20, 2010

MERRY CHRISTMAS JULIO

If ANYONE deserves a gift,
it's this guy!
I found THIS:
 taped to the lid of my trashcan.
Ahhh Julio, Julio, Julio..........my fellow GarbageMan, or your fellow GarbageMan, or, me; I'm the GarbageMan. whatever!

Julio for sure is on the "Nice" list.
What would you give Julio for Christmas?
And how would you present it..........I don't want to set it on the trash or next to the trash or he might mistake his present for trash!
But sure he is getting something!
How can you deny "you fellow GarbageMan" a present?

Friday, December 17, 2010

I KNOW HOW TO PARTY!

This was written yesterday

Do you think we'll have enough food?


Eek!
Brian's office party is in 2 hours.
I've been working my buns off getting ready.


Here is our menu


Spinach & Artichoke Dip
Stuffed Mushrooms
Shrimp
Assortedf Cheese & Crackers
Salami
Baked Brie with Brown Sugar & Pecans
Salad with Blue Cheese, Proscuitto and Red Onions
Honey Baked Ham & Rolls
Four Cheese Ravioli
Chicken Saltimbocca
Vegetable Tray
Assorted Pickles & Olives


Dessert is Plain or Chocolate Cheesecake with Toppings:
Cherries
Blueberries
Strawberries
Hot Fudge
Whipped Cream
Crushed Candy Canes


I'll try to take a picture when the food is all on the table, but in the craziness, I can't promise anything!!!!

Nope.  I didn't take pictures.  Yes.  We had enough - more than enough food.  A good time was had by all!  The trash is hauled out.  The kitchen is mopped.  And the dishwasher is on its second load.  Should I have Spinach & Artichoke dip for breakfast?  Or stick with cheesecake?


Wednesday, December 15, 2010

SENTIMENTAL CHRISTMAS

Nothing makes me more nostalgic and sentimental than Christmas....
but really......I've LOST my mind.


* I'm texting the Boneheads my angels at college and begging them to come home. Acceptable.

* I'm thinking of Christmases past and missing my brothers and my parents. Acceptable.

* I've given up Lil Wayne and Usher for Andy Williams and Perry Como Christmas music - TOTALLY Acceptable!

* I'm crying over the Folger's ad - the one where the boy comes home from college.
The ad is old.  I've seen it 1,000 times. The "college" boy is probably 35 by now.
I don't drink coffee. - Hmmm........questionable.


* Someone sent me a link to an old Chaka Kahn song -"Aint Nobody."
It's from 1983.
I like it but it wasn't my favorite song.
I cranked the speakers, sang at the top of my lungs until I put my head down on my desk and sobbed.- Ummmm.....somebody send some medication and a straight jacket?


Tuesday, December 14, 2010

HO! HO! HO! HAVE A HOT CHRISTMAS! BURNING HOT!

I'm not so excited to move away from Monday and on to Tuesday.
Each day strikes new fear into my heart.
It's one of those weeks!
But getting RaNDoM will for sure help!
Thank you Keely!  Go on over to The Un Mom and join in the fun!

* So - Are you ready for Christmas?
If one more person asks me that, I'll scream, or slap them, or cry.
I'm not even ready for Tuesday, December 14th.
Shoot!  That's today!  Isn't it?


* I'm a little CraZeD.
Tomorrow is Parker's Boy Scout Eagle Court of Honor.
Thursday is Brian's company Christmas party - HERE!
Friday is my admittal to the Funny Farm.
Saturday, the boys get home........so maybe I'll postpone entering the psych ward until Monday.


*My little brother lives in Chicago.
My cousin (and his cousin) lives in Chicago.
He had her over to dinner for her 30th birthday.
For some reason, he decided to use his Iphone and record "Happy Birthday."
Good thing he did!
Watch - it will have you giggling all day!


video


* I have to admit, I'm pretty jealous of all of you in the midwest who got DUMPED on!  There's nothing I love more than a good blizzard and a couple of snow days.

* Lines to leave out of your Christmas letter -
"We were going to take the fifth wheel out to Oregon but Frank had to have hernia surgery."
"Sam's mom died but our trip to Disneyland helped everyone move on."

Oh and...........I'd skip family pictures in swimsuits.......no matter where they were taken.   I just would.

* Best Christmas card EVER -
Ho! Ho! Ho!

Monday, December 13, 2010

ELVES? OR THE WORK OF BONEHEADS?

Ahh....Christmas!
Wonderful, joyful and nothing, if not magical.


My house is pretty quiet with the older boys at college.
It's just Parker.
And he's quiet.
Maybe a little too quiet.
We're 13 days into December and this lovely felt tree should be decorated with 13 ornaments..........not have a cluster-o-felt at the top.
Really?  Sheep and donkeys on top of the stable?  And who came through and mugged the kings?
Yep - the snowman family has had their world turned upside down.

 Tis the season for Love - Check! Hope - Check! and Yoj!
At least the snowman hasn't completely lost his head!
Everyday, the "elves" have worked their magic and I find something different and unexpected!

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Christmas Spirit

Embrace the Spirit of Christmas!



Friday, December 10, 2010

WTFriday?

I love Friday!
I NEED it to be Friday,
but I also need it to be the 1st of December.


With each new Friday, we inch perilously close to Christmas!


Good thing Mrs. 4444 helps us DEFRAG!
Get on over to Half Past Kissin' Time and thank her!

* Conversation with my SIL:
Her: "What are you making for dinner tonight?"
Me: "Mmmm....I can't tell you. You'll be jealous if I tell you."
Her "Cookies?"


She knows me too well!
And just FYI - I WAS making something legit!
I don't usually have cookies for breakfast!
I just have cookies and cupcakes and pie for breakfast! Duh!
I was making chicken tenders wrapped in sage and then wrapped in bacon.

* Text conversation with my two college boys -
Me: "It's cold and gray and snowy.  I miss you!  Come home!"
One boy called and said, "Your message made me cry."
The other boy tested back: "Yeah it's cold and snowy here too."
Such love!  Such tenderness!

* Overheard: "I'm pretty sure that if I had brown riding boots, my entire life would be different."


* Good thing Tiny Baby missed school last Friday and went to the State Cheerleading Competition!
Both the Cheers and the Poms took FIRST in state!  I really doubt they could have done it without those boys in the stands!
I asked Parker how he lasted 12 hours?  He said it was the most "drama filled" day of his high school career.  He witnessed lots of tears and mini cat fights.  Ahhhh........high school!

* Remember yesterday?
Yeah me neither.
Well to refresh your memory, my blog entry was on the wisdom of giving someone "Monkey Butt" Powder for Christmas.
I was contacted by a woman who does PR for them (how could she type that with a straight face?) and she asked if I would like to do a product review.
Wouldn't that mean that I would 1)Have to admit that I HAVE Monkey Butt and 2) Use the product?

* Next week is Parker's Eagle Court of Honor.
Yeah - we didn't have enough parties to go to this season, much less plan, so we threw a Boy Scout party in the mix.
What could be more exciting that a Boy Scout Party?
It's kind of anticlimatic, because his official recognition came in the mail.
He couldn't care less about the certificate, the medal, the scarf, the letter from a congressman..........
what he was living for is this...
The "credit card."
Yeah.........we know it's not a credit card, but it's a cool, colorful, plastic card for your wallet that LOOKS like a credit card and with tongue-in-cheek, all of my boys call it THE credit card.
Who needs a Court of Honor to honor him anymore?
Oh and also........Parker's Eagle Project is being nominated as one of the Outstanding Eagle Projects of the Year.  Congrats Parker!

* You can come inside now.
Quit waiting by your mailbox.
Because we're wrapped up in so many holdiay extravanganzas - like the Eagle Court and starting a new business, we're NOT sending Christmas Cards.
So, I can cross ONE thing off my list of Elf Chores..........
but only because I added writing a press release, ordering the business Christmas gifts and having the work party at my house to the list.

Well, I haven't had my breakfast cookies yet.........so I'm outta here!
Have a great weekend!

Thursday, December 9, 2010

PERFECT CHRISTMAS GIFT FOR EVERYONE ON YOUR LIST!

What is Anti Monkey Butt Powder?
And if it's what I think it is, why is it being sold at Ace Hardware?
And WHY are they advertising it as a Stocking Stuffer?
 Wow!  I am definitely old, conservative and perhaps, a bit of a prude.
There is definitely TMI out there.


I was going through all the circulars in the newspaper yesterday.
Told you I am old!  I STILL read the newspaper.
Anyway, I'm looking at the Ace Hardware ad and in a section called "Stocking Stuffers,"
there is Anti Monkey Butt Powder, Baby Anti Monkey Butt Powde and Lady Anti Monkey Butt Powder.
WTH?


"Anti Monkey Butt Powder is specially formulated to absorb excess sweat and reduce frictional skin irritation. It is Ideal for butt busting activities such as truck driving, motorcycling, bicycling, horse back riding, and extreme sports. May also be applied inside footwear, under sports pads, and other areas prone to chafing. Indoors or outdoors, work or play, or on occasions when you sit on your butt all day, don’t let your buns get red, use Anti Monkey Butt Powder instead!"
No really.  That's straight off their website.


Watch their holiday promotional video-





Who DOESN'T want this in their stocking?
I think I'll buy a case and give one to my dad, oh and Lady Monkey Butt for my mom, how about the mail person?  Yes, one for each of my children and a couple for the neighbors.  Oh, the kid's teachers would appreciate some! I better get two cases!

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

BORROWED, JACKED, PILFERED, STOLEN

Parker likes to do his homework at my desk.
I don't mind.........as long as he cleans up and returns my desk to the condition in which he found it.
Is that too much to ask?


The reason he likes my desk, is that he really wants to use my computer.
The reason he wants to use my computer, is that it has the most extensive I-Tunes library on it.
And I HAVE NEVER ONCE OPENED THAT I-TUNES LIBRARY!
I don't listen to music at my desk.
I don't HAVE an I-Tunes account.
So WHY is there even I-Tunes ON MY COMPUTER?
Whatever.


Anyway, Parker likes to get HIS FATHER'S Noise Cancelling Bose Headphones, plug into I-Tunes and work away.
That can't be productive.
But I'm not going to argue with someone who has straight A's.


Usually, Parker puts his books and pencils away and a does generally a good job picking up after himself,
except day after day, I would find this
in the middle of my desk.


Sometimes, I push it to the corner of the desk.
Sometimes, I set it on the floor next to the desk.
Sometimes, I get up and go put it on Brian's desk.
And, I admit, I am known for this............
sometimes, I just shove it in the closest drawer or cupboard I come across.


Last night, Parker was doing homework at my desk.
I kept hearing him get up every few minutes and rummage around the house.
"What are you looking for?"
"The Bose headphones."


Oh oh.  I hadn't seen them since Thaksgiving.
"Did you look in Dad's office?"
"Yep."


I didn't want to alert Brian to the potential that his expensive headphones had gone missing.
Parker and I searched my desk drawers, the cupboards, the file cabinets, under the Christmas village, Brian's office, every drawer, the bookcase, under the desk, the basement, under the Love Sacs, nearing the TV they use for gaming, the kitchen desk, the refrigerator, under the beds.


Finally, we asked Brian.
"Hey, where are your Bose headphones?"
"In my desk in the second drawer on the right."


He has a place for everything!
He always puts things back where they belong.
We had checked that drawer but we checked again.
Nope - spare mouses (mice), cables to hook every electronic up, chargers, cases: yes.
Headphones? No.


We continued to comb the house.
But we did it quietly so as not to stir Brian up with our irresponsibility.
Parker SHOULD have put them away.
And it's entirely possible I just stuck them somewhere - a good place I would always remember but forgot 30 seconds later.


Finally, I suggested Parker call Garrett and ask him if he saw them when he was home.
"Hey, when you were here for Thanksgiving, did you see Dad's headphones?"
"Headphones?"
"Yeah - his Bose headphones."
"The Bose ones?"
"Yeah."
"Um...yeah... I saw them."
"Well, where did you see them?"
"On Mom's desk."
"Really?  Do you know where they went?"
"Yeah."
"Really?  We can't find them anywhere.  Where did you last see them?"
"Here."
"There?"
"Yeah"
"I'm going to KILL you dude!"


Mystery solved.  Still no headphones.  I sure am glad I don't have girls.  My mascara, cute boots, and that really great sweater would get jacked.  As it is, only Brian has worry about HIS cool stuff.


Tuesday, December 7, 2010

NOTHING SAYS "MERRY CHRISTMAS" LIKE A HANDGUN!

Isn't Tuesday the best?
It's the one day you can rationalize your RaNDoM away!
Go see The Un Mom!  She started it!

* True feelings revealed by the hubs as he hung the lights on the Christmas tree.

"I liked the days when you dragged out the ladder, straddled it while in a short skirt and tights, swore up a blue streak, put the lights on the tree by yourself and I was no where to be found."
Yeah - somehow, everyone enjoyed those days....except me!


Things I've learned this holiday season -

* FACT: During the Christmas season, more than 3 billion Christmas cards are sent - NONE of them are coming from my house this year.

* When you are hanging up GLASS beaded garland on the tree- don't just PULL HARDER.
*You should probably wear non slip, non cute shoes when on a 12 foot ladder. Gold flats aren't a very good idea.

*When you touch something that has glitter on it, don't touch your clothes, or your face, or your keyboard.
Just don't touch anything!


* Don't play with guns.


What?  What are you saying?  Guns don't have anything to do with the holidays?