I Hope That's NOT Leather on Those Fat Calves!

Happy almost Thanksgiving!
Before I tackle all of those Thanksgiving recipes, I've got to clear my head of all the RaNDoM.
Luckily, Miss Stacy has invited everyone over to her place for turkey RaNDoMNeSS at it's finest.

* I love people who bring me cookies.

* Did you know that every year American women’s calves get fatter.

Yep, it’s true.

The boot salesman at Nordstrom told me………..

as he was taking in my boots.

I had a hard time finding boots because of everyone else’s fat calves.

Thanks a lot guys!

* West Hollywood or some city near West Hollywood voted to ban all clothing made of fur and any clothing made from animals……including wool.

Thank heavens sequins haven't been banned!

*I don’t see myself ever riding a motorcycle.

They don’t have cup holders.

*The other night, I was sitting at my desk.

I hear a little bell: “ding ding.”

And then from around the corner Parker shot out and squirted me with a squirt bottle.

I totally freaked out!
We have a family rule that NO MATTER WHAT, you can’t squirt your mom.

She can squirt you.

But you NEVER squirt mom…….even if her hair is on fire.

This was a direct violation and I was NOT happy.

In order to not get killed, he admitted that it was for AP Psych.

The kids had the assignment to see how long it would take to condition a family member.

Experiment OVER in my house!

Ten minutes later,

I heard the bell: “ding ding”

And I jumped and yelled, “NO!”

One time!
I was conditioned in ONE experience.

I wonder how the kid fared who was trying to condition his mom to make him a sandwich every time he rang the bell?

*TRAMMELL comes home for Thanksgiving today!

Today!
He’s on the plane RIGHT NOW!

Yippee!

*I sent a Thanksgiving/Pre-Christmas package to Garrett in Romania about 6 weeks ago.

It had all the fixings for green bean casserole, a two foot tree, battery operated lights, ornaments, two chocolate advent calendars, candy, and who knows what else…..all crammed in one of those “if it fits, it ships” boxes.

But on the customs form, I said it was socks.

I hope he got it.

Have a fabulous and RaNDoM TueSDaY!
Gina

The Search for the White Lanterns

Last Tuesday, Brian and I went to IKEA for something.  I don’t even remember what it was but I’m sure it was important.

As we stepped off the escalator, we immediately saw several pallets full of these –

I stood and stared.

Brian saw my eyes glaze over and asked,
"Did you want to get one of those?”
“No, I might need 18 or 20.”
“Well, did you want to get one so that you will remember and when you decide, you can come back and get them?”
“No.  I will put it on Pinterest.”

And we went on our merry way.

But then, I mentioned it to Margaret,

and in the role of a good friend who is looking out for your best interests,
she sent me into a panic.

“You have to go right back and get them now!”

“Why?”
“Because if you don’t get them now, they will all be gone.”

She picked me up the next evening to go and buy the lanterns.

We arrived and when we got to the top of the escalator………

THERE WERE NO WHITE LANTERNS!!!!!

That's when I started whining like a three year old who had missed her nap.

To soothe me and prevent me from knocking over the lantern display in a temper tantrum, Margaret assured me that we would find them.

WE dug through the black and silver ones that were left

and found TWO.
I will leave you to guess what happens when you dig around those boxes and they are just resting on top of the lantern lids with nothing to stabilize them.

Then we we went on a "treasure hunt" and searched ALL the displays throughout the store and took them off tables

and book shelves.
We found FIVE more.

Then we came up with the brilliant idea to ask for help.
The first five teenagers we approached a) didn't know what lanterns were. b) didn't know how we would find out if there were any in the store and c) were stupid.

Then we ran into this man

who for some reason did not want his picture taken.  So we did not take his picture.
He is the "Closet Planner."  He has this computer that you can plug the dimensions of your closet into and he can help you plan out the racks and shelves and bins, etc.
BUT, we asked him if he could use his MAGIC computer to tell us if there were any WHITE lanterns left in the store.
That's the crazy thing about computers.
Not only could it calculate closet square footage, the MAGIC computer told us that there were 94 white lanterns somewhere in the store.
But it's not THAT smart, cuz it couldn't tell us where.

So, we went through the store a SECOND time.
And we asked every employee who we ran into.

It was like looking for a needle or needles in a haystack.
Come on people!
There are 94 lanterns all piled up together.
How hard can they be to find?
Pretty darn hard.

Finally, one really nice girl took us on an "employee shortcut" and told us to NEVER take the shortcut without an employee with us until we needed to five minutes later by ourselves.

She directed us to Homewares or Glassware or something and actually walked us to this guy -

 who showed us EXACTLY where the 94 white lanterns were.
We jumped up and down and cheered......as the employees backed away.

Then we bought 18, 20, 25.

Phew!!!!!
If you ever need to borrow white lanterns.
I know where you can get some!
But there are only 69 left!
Kidding!  You can borrow mine!
Gina

Miracles: Big and Small

You know I believe in miracles.
I love to find miracles and I see them happen every day.
I try to share them here every once in awhile.
I HAVE to share Friday's miracle.


I was driving from an appointment back to the office.
It was only a 10 minute drive max and I was in a hurry.
For some reason ;), I had a feeling I should call my friend Amber.


"Hey Amber!  How's it going?"
"Well, it's been a rough morning."
"What happened?"


Amber had just gotten off the phone with her son TYLER (Yes! <- the OTHER half of the Bonehead Brothers!  Garrett's twin by another mother.  The EXTRA son who LIVED here for nearly two years.  And by HERE, I mean IN THIS house 24/7)

Tyler's been serving his mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in the Ukraine for the last 19 months.

Missionaries only call home on Christmas and Mother's Day
And it's not one of those holidays.
So it can't be good!

Amber explained that a few months ago,
Tyler mentioned that he was "itching."
It was a casual mention that he didn't know what was wrong but he was constantly scratching.
The end.

But when he called Friday,
he told them that he was itching day and night for almost six months and that it was so bad he was awake most of the night scratching.
His skin is raw and he is trying to survive on 3-4 hours of sleep a night.
He has gone to the doctor in the Ukraine.
They couldn't find anything and they hinted that perhaps it was mental.

The adult leaders recommended he come to the mission office and call home and prepare his family that he might be sent home early.  No one in Ukraine could explain this itching and they asked Tyler to meet with a psychologist.

He told his mom it was NOT mental.
He has the language down.
He loves his mission.
He feels great mentally.
They are teaching more people than ever
and he DOESN'T want to come home.

But he can't survive on 3 hours a sleep.
And he can't continue to scratch his skin off.

Amber told all of this to me.
Hmmmm...........I was skeptical.
I knew there was more to it.
It wasn't mental.
I didn't tell her I would, but immediately after hanging up,
I called my brother.

I knew he was working in the Pediatric ICU.
I NEVER call him when I know he is at work.
I KNOW he can't answer his phone.
But I called.

He answered with, "Is it emergent?"
"No. But Tyler has............."
I told him everything in less than 30 seconds and he said, "It's Scabies.  I'll call you back."

In a whirlwind of events and phone calls at 2 am,
My brother spoke with the leaders in the mission office, Tyler's parents, Tyler, a doctor in the Ukraine and a pharmacist.
Long story, but it IS scabies.
They are unfamiliar with scabies in the Ukraine.
It can be easily and quickly treated.
There is NO reason to "live" with it.  And there is NO reason for Tyler to come home.

Within 24 hours, he went from miserable and returning early from his mission to ecstatic and ready to ROCK the last five months in the Ukraine.

Why did I call Amber at a random time when it was not convenient and I didn't have time to talk?
Why did Amber tell me the whole story instead of just saying everything was fine?
Why did Jared answer the phone even though he was in a meeting with his attending?
How did Jared know without seeing Tyler and from my extremely limited description what it was?
How did they get all those people on an international conference call?
How is it that the ONE pharmacy that has the scabies medication is JUST DOWN THE STREET from Tyler's apartment?

God's hand is in the miracles.
We can be instruments in his hands.

I know miracles happen every day.
We just have to notice them.

Have a fabulous Sunday!
Gina

Occupy Crazyville!

Welcome to Crazy Town!
Do you wanna occupy us?

Come on over.  Bring cupcakes!
If you wanna get really crazy, join in the Friday Fragmenting Fun!

Go see Mrs. 4444.  She started all the Fragmenting!

* Oh shoot!  I forgot to care about Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher.


* Parker had a great idea.
"I'm going to start Occupy Grandview." <- That's his high school.
"I'm going to go into the counseling office and find out the top 1% (he's only in the top 5%) of the kids in my class and insist on redistribution of grades.  Their points on tests and homework should be redistributed to the rest of us. It's not fair that they get all of the A's."


It's almost as good an idea as Occupy Wall Street.....but somehow LESS ridiculous.

* I overheard this conversation between Parker and his friend.
Friend: "Hey Parker, want to go see Dierks Bentley Saturday?"
Parker: "Not really.  But how much is it?"
Friend: "Like $40."
Parker: "Wanna go see Ben Carson Saturday?"
Friend: "How much is it?"
Parker: "$5"
Friend: "Wait.  I don't even know who that is."
Parker: "He's a famous neurologist.  It's a lecture from 9:30 to 12:30."
Friend: "Uh, then, no."

Now we know where Parker will be Saturday AM.


* The other night I went to Costco.
I was cute.
I wore my cape.

The 20 something year old checker said:

"I like your......ummm......(kind of motions to the cape)...."

"My cape?"

"Yeah.....you look like.........ummm.........Nancy Drew."

"Oh thanks. I thought you were going to say Sherlock Holmes."

"I was but I didn't want you to feel bad."

What?

"Parker, guess what?  The checker just said I looked like Nancy Drew but......"

He cut me off, "Nancy Drew?  You look like Sherlock Holmes."

He's grounded.

He obviously doesn't care if I feel bad.

* Look what I bought at IKEA last night -

25 of them............because you never know when you might need them.

And searching IKEA for them is a whole different post!

* Margaret wanted to stop at McDonalds for a McRib sandwich.

She NEVER eats McDonalds food..........only during McRib season.

Yes.  There's a season.

Anyway, there are only 6 days left of McRib season and then I guess, they run out.

I don't know how you run out of processed meat but whatever.

Parker was making fun of her for eating the McRib and she asked him if he had ever had one.

"No.  But there are more than 70 ingredients in that thing."
"But it's soooo good.  you have to try it."

"No.  There's actually an ingredient in the McRib that they use in yoga mats."

Do you think he made that up?

Where would he get that?

* Oh my gosh!  He's NOT lying!

The McRib Sandwich and a Yoga Mat What Do They Have in Common

I never believe my kids.

I checked it out and he's right!

Have a great weekend!

Go get yourself a McRib!

Gina

Truth is......

Truth is..........I am SOOOOO excited for Thanksgiving.I was not so excited on Tuesday.
Then my friend called and invited us to her house and it was an answer to an unsaid prayer.
Yippee!!!!


Truth is..........I don't get Occupy Wall Street, Oakland, Berkely, Portland, Denver.


Truth is..........I want to start getting out the Christmas stuff.  I think I will start setting up the EPIC Christmas village this weekend.  It only takes three days to set up.
Who has three days?
Truth is.........Retailers are RUINING Black Friday by opening on Thanksgiving.........even if they don't open until 9 pm.  It's Thursday!  Not Friday!!!  Is there NO DOWN TIME in America?


Truth is.........Parker REALLY wants these Muno (from Yo Gabba Gabba) for skating.

He's disappointed because they only come in kids' sizes. 

Truth is.........I checked, they do come in adult sizes!  Christmas!

Truth is........that's it for today.  I'm going to Ikea to buy 20 little white lanterns.  They are WAY CUTE!
Gina

CAN I GET SOME HELP HERE?

Oh yeah!
It's RaNDoM!
And have I got RaNDoM for you!


* Did you know that Q comes BEFORE R
Evidently I am having a hard time with that because I always open the "R" file cabinet, am shocked that I can't find the "Q" files and have to sing "O, P, Q, R" of the alphabet song to myself.


* My co workers are horrified by my eating habits.
Breakfast - half a sleeve of Ritz crackers and a Coke.
Mid Morning Snack - A Sees Pecan Truffle.
Lunch - Lays Potato Chips and some Hostess Crumb mini donuts and a Coke.
I DID have a nutritious dinner at IKEA at 7:30.


* A man at work does Weight Watchers.
He explained the "point system" to me.
He gets 40 points a day.
He said I would probably get 25-30 points a day.
Those mini donuts would be 17 of those points.
I'm glad I'm not doing Weight Watchers!


* My family thinks I am crazy because I clean the house BEFORE the house cleaner comes.
She only comes every other week.
So we do have to clean toilets and vacuum ourselves.
But it drives them nutty when I rush around cleaning the night before.
I explained that if *we* didn't pick up the nine pairs of shoes scattered on the laundry room floor, she wouldn't be able to mop the floor.
She's only there for a limited time.
If she spends all that time picking up, straightening desks and making beds,
WHO IS GOING TO CLEAN THE TOILETS?
You get this right?


* Text from Parker:
"I think I'll take a rain check on English."
Arrrggghhhh
I called him.
"Why aren't you going to English?"
"We have a substitute for the 17th time."
"You can't miss English 27 times!"
"Wow! I've missed it 3 times.  There's a huge difference between 3 and 27."


He has a point.
I might be exaggerating.
But we sure TALK about missing English a lot!


* I had a dream last night that I was writing blog topics on scraps of paper at a high school baseball.
The kids were angry because the cafeteria ladies were running the concession stand.
I thought it was cool because we got these big crockery/cafeteria style bowls of nacho cheese.
Oh and.........the game was at 7:15 in the morning.
I have problems!!!!!!


If this was RaNDoM enough for you........head on over and see Stacy.
Happy Tuesday!
Gina

New Math Stinks!

p = 6 or 2 or 1 or whatever!

Parker is in Calculus. 
Maybe he should go back to Geometry.
Yesterday, *I* made this.

In light of the fact that no one will LET me hoard, I went on the proactive and started a friendly discussion.
"Okay, there are three of us.  Each of us gets a third of the pie."
"No"
"Yeah"
"No"
"Uh huh!"
We're mature over here.

"Mom, it's not going to be like that. You won't ever eat a third.  You are just trying to hoard your part."
Am I REALLY that transparent?
He's right.  I won't eat a third.
I will eat ONE piece.

And we all sat down and had one piece together - a 1/8 of a pie piece.
Some of us had whipped cream and some of us had ice cream AND whipped cream.
And then, Parker had a second piece. with two more scoops of ice cream.
There was approximately half the pie left.

Here's where the math gets tricky
.
"Okay there's only half the pie left and you had a second piece Parker."
"No. There are three of us and there is a half of a pie left. So we each just ate 1/6."
"Except we didn't.  You ate more."
"Mom, there are three of us.  We each ate some pie and now their is half left, therefore we each ate 1/6 and going by your rule that we each get 1/3, we each get to eat 1/3 of what is left or 1/6 of the pie."

What kind of math is that?

Gina