Tuesday, December 16, 2008

It's 4 Degrees! Break Out Your Swimsuit!

We've been in the middle of a cold snap..........as in a record breaking (i'm not lying) below zero snap. It's been downright FAC*

When I went to seminary on Monday, the outside temperature was -13. It was way warmer in the car, like +10. So today, when I pulled in the parking lot at seminary, it was 0 and you sure could tell! It was downright balmy. I considered having class outside!

There are some pluses to the cold weather. Really!!!!!

PRO: You have just gained 900 square feet of refrigerator space.........the garage! It's so convenient to pull in from the grocery store and just walk empty handed into the house. When the kids ask, "Hey, where's the milk?" Just tell them to go get it out of the back of the car. Oh, but you might want to bring in the lettuce. Unless you want frozen salad.

CON: Did you know that lip gloss can freeze? I should probably get that emergency Coke out of the console too. That could be a problem!

PRO: Don't worry about the holiday pounds that you've been packing on. Everyone looks fat in their 13 layers. So have another cookie!

PRO: Does anyone know how many calories you burn shivering?

CON: Dont wait until the last minute to go to the bathroom. It could be a problem when you are digging through a coat and sweater and three shirts to find the button to your pants.

PRO: The immodest high school girls have no choice but to where more clothing.

CON: Their idea of more clothing is a turtleneck dress (yay!) that comes just below their bottom (boo!) and a pair of Uggs. Where are their mothers????

PRO: Your nose doesn't run.......it's frozen.

CON: The frozen Capri Suns you put in the kids' lunches at 5 am are still FROZEN at noon.

PRO: You have the streets and the stores to yourself. It's so cold, everyone stays home and complains how cold it is, while you have free run of the mall and grocery store.

CON: You have so many clothes on, you can't feel whether you've fastened your seat belt or not.

PRO: If you do get in a wreck and you forgot your seatbelt, no worries.......when you get launched through the windshield, you'll glide on all your layers over the ice like a harp seal. Keep your chin up!

So, my advice - stay inside and work on your Christmas cards with hot chocolate and cookies. I haven't started Christmas shopping and I don't really want you getting in my way!

*freezing ass cold


Tricia said...

nothing short of hilarious! thanks for the laugh. I could complain about how its like 44 degrees here in the mornings this week....and how we are a bunch of wusses & opted for bunco instead of caroling out in the rain tonight for YW/YM.....but, well, seems kind of silly after reading your post.

stay warm!!! and where ARE those girls' mothers?! I know exactly that dress!

Melissa said...

I thought everyone would stay home from the post office on the coldest day of the year, too, but no such luck. My girls saw the sun today and put on shorts and capris and sandals. We went out to deliver goodies and I suggested other clothing to them, but they declined. Then they were cold. Hopefully they have learned their lesson. Always listen to your mother!

Blogging Mama said...

love it. I hear the FAC, it was a high of 28 yesterday. Maybe you should move to Germany??

valerie said...

I hear ya! This morning it is a whopping 9 degrees. A heat wave for sure!

missty said...

Brrrr!!! I need warmth! and sun!! lol

Stacy said...

So much for my complaining about not getting out of the 20's. Brr cold. And why have I never thought of freezing the Capri Suns? I've always put ice packs in their lunches. Duh! Frozen Capri Suns are the same thing! Woo hoo! :::off the to the fridge:::