"BUTT Mom!"

Today, I'm reliving part (the best part - cuz someone else gets in trouble) of my childhood.
It's Writer's Workshop with Mama Kat and you can play along too!
Go over and see her and pick a writing prompt!


I've selected #1: Describe the best/most creative punishment you have ever given your children or received yourself. 

I personally, have never done anything wrong so.....I can't write about a punishment I have received.  And if you've stalked visited here much, you KNOW my kids have NEVER done anything worthy of punishment. 

So I'm remembering a punishment my hellion angelic brothers received.  It was brilliant!

My brothers were about 3 and 5 and entertaining themselves while my mother was involved in some kind of church service.  Giggling ensued.  And then they became hysterical.  This fit drew my mother's attention and she asked what they were doing.  Dropping their pens and shoving paper behind their back, they gave the standard answer you give moms: "Nothing."

"Come here" she commanded.  They did - empty handed.  "Go get the paper."  Sheepishly, they brought the papers to her.

"What is this?"

Thinking quickly, my brother answered, "Beetles."  My other dumber brother nodded in agreement. 

"Beetles?"  my mother responded.  My mom was brilliant.  She was never going to be taken in by a 3 and 5 year old.  Plus, I think she had taken some science classes before becoming a mom and she knew that beetles had heads AND legs.

"These aren't beetles. Are you boys drawing butts?"  They couldn't really answer because they were wavering between bursting out in tears or laughter. 

Laughter won.  "Butts!  Ha! Ha!  Hee!  Hee! Butts!!!!!  Woo!  Hoo!"  The giggled uncontrollably and slapped their thighs, held their stomachs, fell to the ground and writhed in preschool ecstasy.

Except that when they caught their breath, they realized that my mom wasn't laughing with them.

She wasn't even smiling. (How she kept that straight face, I'll never know.)

"Well, since you think this is so funny and you are having so much fun," she paused and handed them a legal tablet,

you can go on in the bathroom and fill this whole tablet with butts."

My brothers looked at each other gleefully.  Wow!  What a punishment!  Mom was soooo cool!
Their laughter echoed off the bathroom walls as they drew page 1, page 2 and page 3. 
Things started quieting down around page 7.
By page 9, the youngest was selected as the scapegoat one most likely to succeed and came out to ask for a reprieve.
Mom shook her head and back into the bathroom he went.

By page 12, they were crying.
By page 15, they were calling out from their cell that they would NEVER draw butts again.
They filled that tablet.

THAT was the day that I realized my mom was a genius!  They don't teach you that stuff at Mom School. 
And my brother's were "cured."  Neither of them became medical illustrators and neither of them are really "ass men."

I've tucked that punishment away in the recesses of my mind, just waiting for a single off-color illustration.  Alas, my own children are 20, 18, and 15 and they haven't turned in any butt, boob or penis drawing.  Dang!