Tuesday, March 31, 2009

I'm Bugged and I'm Thinking!

It's dangerous when I think too long! So consider this a warning!

A friend of a friend of a friend posted some recent vacay pictures of her daughter (12 year old) and a friend on the beach in Hawaii……….in bikinis.

Yes all involved are LDS.

This sparked questions from her readers. Evidently, in the past, she (mom of bikini wearer) had railed on others who let their daughters wear bikinis. So now, her readers wanted to know why the rules had changed.

They questioned her in their comments. And she responded with what I feel was an "excuse." Because if she really felt okay with it, if she really felt justified, she wouldn't have responded at all.

Here are her reasons as to why it is now okay for her daughter to wear the bikini.
1) It was her husband’s decision
2) You have to pick your battles
3) It wasn’t a huge deal since her daughter is innocent and sweet and commandment obeying.

This is bothering me. This has made me think all day. The whole MODESTY issue and bikini’s has been bothering me for some time and has been exacerbated by silly, exaggerated, facetious talk that there is such a thing as a “modest bikini.” I know people are joking when they use that term, but it bugs me.

So……..what do you think about modesty and bikinis and short shorts and tank tops?

First of all, I will admit
1) I do have an advantage in that I will not have to face this issue because I have all boys. (I know - you can bring up girlfriends and future wives.)
2) I am NOT perfect and I am NOT trying to set myself on a pedestal as an example of someone who lives ALL the commandments.

I would just like to have a discussion and hear where YOU are coming from.

Here is my opinion.
How we appear on the outside is often an indicator of how we feel on the inside. How we dress really does affect how we act. Sorry, but we are judged by how we dress. No it’s not right. It’s not fair. But it is true.

I'll come back to that....but first -
Why do we obey commandments?

Some of them ring true to us. We hear the prophet say something and for some reason (the Spirit) it sounds “right.” We don’t need to be sold. We just do it.

Many times, this obedience is born out of love of the Lord. We love the Lord and we want to do what he wants us to do. We also may choose to obey because we have had success obeying other commandments and see that obedience has brought us joy or happiness or at least helped us avoid disaster in the past.

Sometimes we reluctantly obey out of duty. We know we probably should do our visiting teaching and even though we don’t want to do it, we have enough of a testimony of other things that we are betting we probably SHOULD do this too.

Sometime we obey out of fear. We understand that there are blessings and consequences attached to commandments. Because we are afraid of consequences, we obey.

I have not addressed modesty yet. I don’t know if I will get to. I don’t want this to be a 50 page post. And I’m evaluating my own obedience to commandments in general.

Are there commandments that we can afford to ignore? Are there commandments that are less important than others? Just thought questions.


Guymons said...

GooD thought provoking questions!!!!

H.K. said...

I found your blog on "Mormon Mommy Blogs." I love the question that you presented.

You posted some very thought provoking questions at the end of your post. I think that when you ignore one commandment, then it gets easy to ignore others.

Shirley said...

Ack, I tried to post a long comment but it disappeared. This is the abbreviated version.

I never had this problem with my girls, but I know I've been quite judgmental of some of the girls in our stake about some of the clothes they have worn.

Although I tend to be a stickler about many things (and clothing is one of the things), this is what I've decided. Even if I wear my dresses below my knee, if my shoulders are covered, if I have one pair of earrings on, if I'm not striving to love others, if I'm not looking for ways to serve, if I'm not developing a personal relationship with my Heavenly Father and my Savior, my sense of modesty isn't going to help me much in the long run.

Missty said...

You can read my comments at our friends blog. I really don't know why its anyone elses business to worry about a mom who is fully aware of her child's way of dress. And I would not come up with any excuse, if I wsa her. I would tell those to MYOB! Why must we all have to answer to each other? Drives me nuts! I am bugged and thinking what business is it to everyone??? So what!

We are such a judgemental people aren't we?? Very sad.

The Crazy Coxes said...

H.K. - Thanks for stopping by! I like your perspective!

Shirley - I totally agree with your comments regarding our own personal attitudes, love toward one another and our reltaionship with our Savior.

Missty - I was surprised she felt it necessary to respond to people who didn't agree. If it were me, I probably would say - this is my decision, I don't have to justify it to anyone but the Lord. As far as "us" being judgemental, I don't think we are the only ones who judge (not that that makes it right.) We just judge on different things. I hear some interesting judgements from friends of all/none religions.

Kim said...

Gina...you made some very good points..

Shirley I really like your honesty in your comment...

I really have the MYOB kind of attitude about a lot things.. But hey if your gonna give me crap you better be able to back it up and be ready for the right back atcha...

KelliSue Kolz said...

Shirley - there is the very biggest point!

Otherwise, yes, it bugs me when LDS people who committed to follow the Lord's standard, do not. I recall the areas where I fall short, and how grateful I am for the atonement which gives me a chance to begin again.

We dress modestly in our family. We want the blessings that come with it, and I want my children appreciated for their character and their joy, not their body shape, however wonderful it is.

That said, Isn't it about time we decide which side of the fence we sit on, and quit trying to straddle the middle? Isn't it time to cement our posts into the ground and fly our standards high, where they belong?