Wednesday, June 3, 2009

And NOW, I'm a Cold-Hearted, Stalking, MURDERER!

I told you it would come to this.
I couldn't be satisfied with just little sins.

One thing led to another and now, I'm a murderer (almost.)
Oh....and this is not my first! I'm a serial murderer.

While working in the yard,
I came across two spider webs.
I'm pretty much a professional at recognizing black widow webs.
These were black widow webs.

I forgot where I saw one of them (luckily)
but one was in the granite wall..........
the same granite wall where the "other" black widows posed for prom pics.

They are far away from the house.
The spiders only come out at night,
but I couldn't leave well enough alone.
I can't control myself.
Night after night,
I snuck outside with a flashlight to see exactly where the spider was hanging out.

Then, I snuck out with the flashlight AND a Mason jar.
Why a Mason jar?
How about a large rock to smash it?

How could I possibly hold the flashlight and manuever the Mason jar around the spider on the web to catch it?

Why do I have to catch it?
The thought of KILLING the black widow gives me the heebie jeebies,
but catching it in a jar is perfectly normal.

So after a couple of nights and a few attempts,
I caught the black widow.

Now what?
Well, back in the elementary school days, we took it to school for "Show and Tell." The teachers really appreciated it!

But there isn't any "Show and Tell" in high school and the boys are used to Mason jars with black widows sitting around.
Doesn't it make total sense to put the jar on my desk and just let it sit there?

I CAN'T KILL IT!!!!!!!!

The very thought freaks me out!
But it's okay that it sits in a jar slowly dying.

Why doesn't it creep me out when with a sudden burst of energy, the spider leaps up and crawls around the jar?

Why can't I smash it?
Why can't I flush it down the toilet?
How about if I throw the jar in the trash and let the trash man take it?


valerie said...

EEEK! I'd be smashing that suckers guts. That spider is CREEPING me out just sitting on your desk. lol

Shirley said...

Are you going to tell us how long it takes for you to starve the poor little spider to death?

Patty Edwards said...

You just aren't right. We love you. We completely understand why you're trying to make this creature going away. Let's just hope PETA doesn't hear about it.

H.K. said...

OOoohhh, I got the willies just reading this! My brother-in law is the same way, he can't swat flies, so he tries to "scoot" them out.

KelliSue Kolz said...

I'm of the pour some rubbing alcohol into the jar and off it quickly contingent.

That's right, I'm not fit to parent.

KelliSue Kolz said...

I found this perfect picture, and I just had to make certain you did not miss it Gina.

Stacy said...

:::shudder::: How can you keep that thing on your desk? :::shudder again::: FTR, I couldn't smash it either, but I'd so be chucking it down the toilet, or I like KS's idea.