My MORAL COMPASS is Broken!

What has come over me?
I’m lying, cheating and stealing!

I am just traipsing down the primrose path to hell....
yes, the same one that is paved with good intentions,

but I don't even have THOSE!

LYING:
Garrett took the AP Language test in mid-May. Right after that, his teacher explained that because she 9 months pregnant and due any day, they weren’t starting any new projects.

The other three AP Lang classes started new books or new writing units. Garrett’s teacher told them that IF they came to class, they would be watching movies. She said they didn’t have to come to class but then they would have to get their parents to excuse them.

Then she turned in the grades…..Garrett has an A.

Would you go to class?

So I find myself lying………and they are lame lies
“Hi, this is Gina Cox calling and Matthew Garrett Cox will be missing 3rd period today because……….uh…..he has an appointment. He’ll be back for 4th period.”
Wow! Really???

I can’t call and lie every other day. Seriously, who has appointments every other day at 11 am?

CHEATING:
We used Memorial Day to clean out our shed and garage.

You should see the pile of treasure we hauled to the curb for trash day:
two sleds, a string trimmer, bags of yard debris, a broken pitch fork thingy, old drain pipe…..plus all the regular trash.

I was sitting at my desk when the trash man pulled up.

He picked up the main trash can and dumped it.

Then he stared at the large pile. He picked up the string trimmer and started trying it out. He set it back down in the trash pile.

I grabbed $10 out of my purse and ran out to the curb.
“Are you going to be able to take all this?” I asked, as I shoved the money into his gloved hand.
I don’t think he speaks English but he nodded, picked up the string trimmer and hucked into the truck.

STEALING:
It’s not really stealing.
But remember the After Prom fandango?

The movie theater donated 4 – 48 gallon bags of theater popcorn on the condition that it would be served 1 hour after we picked it up. We even had to provide a letter stating such.
Well, we picked it up at 10:30. We started serving it at 12.

At 4 a.m., there was still one bag left.

I think you already know where it ended up.
We ate it for a week. But even after a week, there had to be 30 gallons of illegal popcorn left in that bag.

And it was just sitting in the kitchen.

And we were done with it.

Our trashman had already come this week (see cheating.).

Friday was my neighbor’s trash day………so I took it to her curb.

I wish I could have seen the trashman’s face when he pulled up to the clear bag with 30 gallons of popcorn.

So, when you see me on the front page of the newspaper, having been convicted of some major crime, you can shake your head and say, "I saw it coming!"