Driver's Ed with Parker

Parker is spending everyday this week at Driver's Ed.
How exciting is that????
Except there's no actual DRIVING involved.

The purpose of this class is to get your classroom work done so you can get your permit the minute you turn 15.

Our laws are a little wacky. In order to actually get your license before you turn 35, you have to follow a complex 67 step process that starts when you are 14 1/2 and must proceed like a shuttle launch or brain surgery.

Also, in case you haven't noticed, we are merciless teasers at our house.

But luckily, Parker is an old soul. He is a fun loving 14 year old who loves to blow stuff up on the drive way and laugh his head off at "Tom & Jerry" cartoons. But he's also very serious about school, church, lacrosse and learning life's lessons through observation.

Oh.......and he's 14 1/2, 4' 11" and about 90 pounds and he takes it all in stride.

To his credit, Parker has some decent driving experience.

Besides driving the ride on mower all over the place, we have this 97 GMC Sonoma truck

that is used for hauling. Every trash day, it's his job to drive the truck from one end of the yard to the other and offload the bags of grass clippings and yard word debris. He has also driven me to neighbors' houses.

Here are some conversations with Parker:

SATURDAY

Me: "Come on. You're driving me to the Brown's so I can give them this."

P: "Okay"

After he moves the seat ALL the way forward (it's a bench seat, so now my knees are up around my chin), backs out of the driveway, drives down the street, makes a left hand turn and starts up a small hill...............

I ask..........

"Can you EVEN SEE over the steering wheel?"

P: "Nope, not really."

Me: "Oh, well we're almost there."

SUNDAY

Me: "You ready for Drivers' Ed tomorrow?"
P: "Uh yeah, I guess."
Me: "Do we need to get a booster seat for you?"

P: "Yeah! You're funny mom."

Me: "I'm just saying. We could get phone books or something"

MONDAY

Me: "How was driver's ed?"

P: "Fine."

Me: "Did you know anyone there?"
P: "Oh yeah, Max, Preston, Matt, and three other kids from school."

Me: "Ahhh.....what did you learn?"
P: "Well, it was typical. We saw all the usual videos where everyone dies. You know- it's basically like the teenagers think they are invincible and they think 'it will never happen to me,' and then they are idiots with the car and everyone dies."

Me: "Hmmmm.."

P: "Yeah. We saw about five versions of the same video: Geico's, Allstates, and some others. Basically, teenagers are idiots."

TUESDAY:

Me: "Soooo........how was it today? Did you drive anywhere?"

P: "Yeah.........I drove to Wyoming and back."

Me: "Cool. What did you guys do?"

P: "Ummm....more of the same. This nurse came from Swedish (top rated trauma hospital in the city) and he brought pictures of stuff he's seen. It was cool."

Me: "So it was like pictures of accident victims and stuff?"

P: "Yeah it was like yesterday but real pictures of people who have come in there from car accidents."

P: "Oh and we took a quiz with permit questions on it. I did well. I missed 2."

Me: "Cool. 2? Out of how many."

P: ".........mumble 5"

Me "You missed 2 out of 5?"
P: "Mom! 25!"
Me; "Okay then, you've learned everything: teenagers are idiots and you know all the answers to the permit test questions. I guess you know everything."

P: "Yep....pretty much."

He went back today though.

I wonder which movies they are going to see today?

Probably more blood and gore.

I would like that class.