Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Driver's Ed with Parker

Parker is spending everyday this week at Driver's Ed.
How exciting is that????
Except there's no actual DRIVING involved.

The purpose of this class is to get your classroom work done so you can get your permit the minute you turn 15.

Our laws are a little wacky. In order to actually get your license before you turn 35, you have to follow a complex 67 step process that starts when you are 14 1/2 and must proceed like a shuttle launch or brain surgery.

Also, in case you haven't noticed, we are merciless teasers at our house.
But luckily, Parker is an old soul. He is a fun loving 14 year old who loves to blow stuff up on the drive way and laugh his head off at "Tom & Jerry" cartoons. But he's also very serious about school, church, lacrosse and learning life's lessons through observation.

Oh.......and he's 14 1/2, 4' 11" and about 90 pounds and he takes it all in stride.

To his credit, Parker has some decent driving experience.
Besides driving the ride on mower all over the place, we have this 97 GMC Sonoma truck
that is used for hauling. Every trash day, it's his job to drive the truck from one end of the yard to the other and offload the bags of grass clippings and yard word debris. He has also driven me to neighbors' houses.
Here are some conversations with Parker:

Me: "Come on. You're driving me to the Brown's so I can give them this."
P: "Okay"

After he moves the seat ALL the way forward (it's a bench seat, so now my knees are up around my chin), backs out of the driveway, drives down the street, makes a left hand turn and starts up a small hill...............
I ask..........
"Can you EVEN SEE over the steering wheel?"
P: "Nope, not really."
Me: "Oh, well we're almost there."

Me: "You ready for Drivers' Ed tomorrow?"
P: "Uh yeah, I guess."

Me: "Do we need to get a booster seat for you?"
P: "Yeah! You're funny mom."
Me: "I'm just saying. We could get phone books or something"

Me: "How was driver's ed?"
P: "Fine."
Me: "Did you know anyone there?"
P: "Oh yeah, Max, Preston, Matt, and three other kids from school."
Me: "Ahhh.....what did you learn?"
P: "Well, it was typical. We saw all the usual videos where everyone dies. You know- it's basically like the teenagers think they are invincible and they think 'it will never happen to me,' and then they are idiots with the car and everyone dies."
Me: "Hmmmm.."
P: "Yeah. We saw about five versions of the same video: Geico's, Allstates, and some others. Basically, teenagers are idiots."

Me: " was it today? Did you drive anywhere?"
P: "Yeah.........I drove to Wyoming and back."
Me: "Cool. What did you guys do?"
P: "Ummm....more of the same. This nurse came from Swedish (top rated trauma hospital in the city) and he brought pictures of stuff he's seen. It was cool."
Me: "So it was like pictures of accident victims and stuff?"
P: "Yeah it was like yesterday but real pictures of people who have come in there from car accidents."
P: "Oh and we took a quiz with permit questions on it. I did well. I missed 2."
Me: "Cool. 2? Out of how many."
P: ".........mumble 5"
Me "You missed 2 out of 5?"
P: "Mom! 25!"
Me; "Okay then, you've learned everything: teenagers are idiots and you know all the answers to the permit test questions. I guess you know everything."
P: "Yep....pretty much."
He went back today though.
I wonder which movies they are going to see today?
Probably more blood and gore.
I would like that class.


Stacy said...

Chris finished his permit course a few weeks ago. He was all about driving everywhere for a while and now he doesn't really care anymore. It's like the new has worn off. BTDT. But I'm betting he'll be more into it as it gets closer to his 16th birthday. I know I will--then he can drive himself to seminary!

valerie said...

lol. Sounds like this is a great learning experience. I have an extra booster seat if he needs one. :)

KelliSue Kolz said...

My first thought was Parker would need a booster seat to take his driving test in New York. But I see you went there too.

My Merina is almost 8, and still 46 inches tall. She can't ride the big rides at the amusement park, even while standing as tall as she can, poor thing. She's fearless though! Her sister 18 months older than she is over a foot taller. They're like Mutt and Jeff. If they fought like cats and dogs all the time. ahem.

I love your tales of the Bonehead brothers too. My 11 and almost 12 year olds laugh as I read them what your sons have done.

Missty said...

Oh fun times. Your last one driving! Whoo Hoo!!

H.K. said...

Wow! They really do start driver's Ed really young in your state!

I LOOOVED the conversation with you & Parker, they're hilarious!

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

Teenagers are idiots. Can I PLEASE quote him on that?? :)