PaReNTiNG PaRTY

Today we are talking about Sibling Rivalry.

Are your kids Friends or Foes?

How do you encourage love at home?

How much bickering and arguing can you tolerate?

What is or is not acceptable?

First, I have to look at my own childhood.
There were 4 of us.
I was the oldest, the only girl and obviously the most well-behaved, least troublesome child.

To be honest, I don’t remember us really arguing much.
I'm sure we did.

It was like two families.

There was my brother and I - 2 1/2 years apart.

And then there was a big gap with the "babies" being 10 and 12 years younger than I.

I know that we were NEVER allowed to fight physically.
If we wanted to hit each other,
we had to wait until my parents left to go to some church meeting. ;)
I’ll tell you about chasing my brother with a ski pole some other time.

My mother also made sure to find something good and praiseworthy about each of us.....which with some of those boys wasn't always easy to do!

One time when she was yelling at my brother,
I came in and sweetly announced,
“Mother dear, I just finished emptying the dishwasher
and now I will go and pick up the toys.”
For some reason, she didn’t think I was being altruistic and called me out.

But I was always close to my brothers and we’re still very close today…
Maybe even a little bit sick and twisted close………as my fantasy would be to live with all of my brothers and their families on the same street.

I don’t want you to think that we were perfect…….only I was.
We did have our moments.

My brother did slug the other brother and say, “Dude, I’m sick of you always being so selfish!”

They were 25 and 23 and it was the day before the selfish one’s wedding.

As for my own angels,

It’s pretty much the same.
Physical violence is never allowed………except on the lacrosse field and only when focused on the opponent.
I don’t put up with name calling or belittling either.

I've tried to encourage my kids to find a talent or skill that is just theirs...something they can excel at without having to compete directly with their brothers.

We didn't have many "play dates." The boys had to play with each other so they pretty much had to get along.

We try to support each other by having the entire clan go to the boys games, recitals, choir performances, speeches etc.

And I do remember having little talks with them about “Your friends will come and go but your family will always be here.” Etc. etc.
I even remember the boys bickering one time in the kitchen
And I pulled the Heavenly Father card.
I did.
But I wasn’t lying.
I can’t remember everything I said but I remember feeling like if I didn’t bear my testimony of our family and its purpose, I would have to answer to Heavenly Father. I knew that as the mother, I would be held responsible.

I told them that. I bore testimony of my responsibility as a Mother and their responsibilities to each other as family members and brothers.
It was pretty sobering.
No one said an unkind word the rest of the day…..
Maybe even the next day too. ;)

So share your hot tips!
How do keep the kids from killing each other?

Comment away!