Monday, February 21, 2011

Small Town Super Heroes Saving the World From......

10,0000 years ago, when I was in college, it was the CENTER of a very small town.  There wasn't fast food.  There was only a movie theater or two and we went to the neighboring town to go to the mall.  Life was pretty boring.
Even for the campus police.

We took great joy in making their lives more interesting by almost getting arrested for "stealing" cafeteria trays and sledding on them. But really, weren't there more important things to do than question errant freshmen?

I guess not.  And things haven't changed THAT MUCH!
The "police beat" still provides hours minutes of entertainment.

I'm so glad that Trammell is finding the University Police as entertaining as I did.

Police Beat:
Jan. 14: A suspicious male entered the Center for Service and Learning and asked a female receptionist about the enrollment on campus and the purpose of the building they were in. The receptionist thought his questions were suspicious and reported him to police. No further action was taken.

Really?  Asking the location of a building is suspicious?  It's the CENTER for SERVICE and LEARNING!  She is there to give service and he obviously was there to learn.  Pretty suspicious for a college campus!

Jan. 17: A student reported a male with orange hair and an orange beard looking suspicious in the Smith Fieldhouse. The student told police he had overheard the man telling a woman that he liked babies. When officers arrived, no one had seen a man with orange hair or an orange beard.

Ooooo....VERY suspicious!  A man who likes babies!!!  Okay, the beard part could be since beards are generally allowed on campus (really, they aren't).  If this occurred in March, I would guess it was a leprachaun!
Jan. 17: A suspicious rushing noise was reported coming from tall, metal cylinders located on the southeast side of the Clyde building. Police responded and discovered the cylinders were part of a research project being conducted by a student. The Provo Fire Department declared the project safe.

It IS very suspicious when vents do their job and VENT!
TRESPASSINGJan. 14: Custodians cleaning in the JKB discovered a man sleeping in the building. The man told custodians he had 24-hour access to the building and was just taking a rest. Officers asked him to leave and informed him the building was not meant for sleeping. No other actions were taken.

Jan. 14: Officers responded to trespassing alarms in LaVell Edwards Stadium. A male student was found running stair exercises. He was issued a citation for trespassing and asked to leave.

Both of these people are obvioulsy a menace to society.  Thank heavens the police were around.


Jan. 14: A woman was driving near the Crabtree building when she stopped at a light. A male using the crosswalk tapped her car with his hand and told her that she should not drive while talking on the phone. The driver saw this same man later and told him not to touch her vehicle. In response he rubbed his hands on the front of her car. Police were called, but the pedestrian was gone before they arrived.

LOL - I'm siding with the "perpetrator" on this.  Crazy that he wasn't still around when the police got there!  I wonder why he didn't hang around?  Maybe he has a life.  Oh and I would have rubbed my hands on the girl's car too!

 Jan. 18: During a routine surveillance check, an officer observed a suspicious looking vehicle parked behind the old BYU Broadcasting building. When officers approached the car they found the male occupant to be in possession of marijuana. The vehicle was secured and officers watched the male walk to his residence

WAIT! Whoa!  A real crime!  And the police just secured the car?  Ummm..don't they usually right a ticket for this one?  Ahhh....I bet the guy said it wasn't his car and it wasn't his pot and off he went.  Foiled again!

What an exciting week!


Young Wife said...

Hilarious! A man who likes babies? Heavens!

Raven said...

ROTFLMAO! Those are just hilarious! Wow, the campus police really needs to find a hobby to occupy them in between those horrible, horrible crimes.

Danelle said...

Well, I caused more trouble than that when I was in Provo! Except for the marijuana, of course.

Julianna said...

Hmmm, here the pot wouldn't even be a crime... less than an ounce is $100 fine. :)

But they'd arrest him for walking while under the influence... :)

Rachael said...

Oh my gosh, there's so much to say to this post. First of all, a man at said university who likes babies? Not suspicious, just typical. And sleeping in buildings? I'd like to know who hasn't slept in a building at this university. Really! I had roommates who regularly took naps in the library, and I often saw people taking naps in bathrooms.

Donna said...

Those are so funny! I assume those must be from BYU. Hee hee!