Overheard......okay maybe I said some of it.
*Someone: "If more Americans ate like me, they would be healthier."
Parker: "Oh really?"
Someone: "Yeah. I don't just eat to eat. I don't eat to live. I eat for pleasure. Once I've had 'enough,' I don't just keep eating because the food is there."
Parker: "Yeah. You eat stupidly."
*While clearing dishes from the dinner table,
I hear a dinner guest ask Brian,
"So what is your church calling now? What do they have you doing."
As I hear Brian kindly answer, "Oh, Gina and I are in charge of planning the Pioneer Trek for 400 youth......"
I mumble under my breath.
"Tour guides to hell."
Yep.........that's where I'm going with THAT kind of attitude!
*Brian: "So I hear you guys shot eggs over to the school with the slingshot."
Parker: "Yeah, we wanted to see how far they'd go."
Brian: "Why didn't you use golf balls?"
Parker: Yeah, we could have but I didn't think of it."
Brian: "Well, if you're going to get arrested for vandalism, go big."
What? Who let HIM be a parent?????
*Trammell is down in Little Rock knocking on doors and selling security systems ALL DAY LONG!
And when I say all day, I'm talking from 11:30 am to 9:30 pm.
And sometimes I get text messages like this:
"Did I just leave a house with a huge statue of Jesus in it? Yes. Yes, I did. And was that statue of Jesus black? Yes. Yes, He was."
Notice "He" was capitalized. Black, white, purple, green....always show respect!
*Another text I received from someone else who shall remain nameless to protect her guilt.
"I just broke in ur house and stole some salad dressing. Sorry. But I put a sour cream in ur frig to replace the one I borrowed yesterday."
What a polite thief!
* One more convo that took place with my 2-year-old nephew. Really! He is 28 months and he really did say this!
Me: "Where did you go today?"
G: "Time out!"
Me: "You went to time out?"
G: "Yes." He says "yes" soooo sweetly and happily!
Me: "Hmmmm.......what did you do?"
Me: "You were screaming?"
Me: "Is screaming good or naughty?"
Me: "Yes. Screaming is naughty!"
G: "And mommy say, 'knock it off!' "
Did she now? What else did Mommy say?