The Bonehead Brothers Call the White House

Garrett and Tyler come home from school all excited and not just because it's Friday.

Garrett: "Yeah we have the phone number to the White House....the real number!"

Tyler: "Yeah it's not the stupid number posted on the internet that just sends you to a recording. It's legit. Watch, I'll call it."

Me: "No....don't."

For some reason (maybe it's my age ot maybe my IQ), I'm not thinking that calling the White House is a good idea. For one, I can't think of anything a 17 year old would have to say that they want to hear. And secondly, I can't see how this will benefits anyone. Oh an third, these guys are idiots, so there is no telling what they will say.

Tyler turns puts his phone on speaker and dials away.

Receptionist: "White House."

Me: hissing "Hang up! Hang up!"

Tyler: "Yeah, I'd like to speak to the President."

Receptionist: "He's not available to the phone" (There are no typos in that last sentence. That is what she said.)

Tyler: "What? That didn't make sense."

Receptionist: "He's not available to the phone."

Tyler: "What you are saying doesn't even make sense."

Receptionist: "HE is NOT available to come to the phone and talk to YOU! Did that make sense?"

Me: Oh Geez...........I knew this wasn't a good idea. I'm still hissing "Hang up!" But then I grab the phone and close it. Unfortunately, this doesn't disconnect the call. I'm glad Garrett is laughing quietly at the end of the bar and not contributing to this delinquency.

Tyler: "I don't like your attitude."

Receptionist: "Well, I don't like your attitude."

Tyler: "Let me speak to your manager."

Receptionist: "I don't have a manager."

Tyler: "Well let me talk to the person above you."

Receptionist: "There isn't anyone above me."

I'm listening now for the whip whip whip of helicopter blades and the rapelling of black ops guys onto my roof. We're all dead!

Tyler: "Yes there is someone above you......the President."

Receptionist: "And I already told you he isn't going to speak to you."

Tyler: "Well, then how about the Vice President?"

The conversation ended after one or two more super intelligent exchanges. And now I'm sure Tyler has an open file with the FBI. Thank heavens Tweedle Dum didn't say anything since he really does want a career in the FBI or CIA. I suggest he doesn't mention this little call in any future interviews.

What happened to those phone calls we used to make 30 years ago, "Is your refrigerator running?" I told them that if they ever called the White House again, I'd kill them. But I don't think I'm the only one who has a contract out on them!