Tuesdays are the days we all compete for the computers to type Trammell a letter. Cambodia is 14 hours ahead of us. His P-Day is Wednesday. That means that he will usually go to the internet cafe sometime between noon and 3 pm on Wednesday which can be as early as 10 pm Tuesday night.
We have so little self control that we leave our computers on and check them every 15 minutes before we finally receive an email or give up and go to bed. But I have been known to get out of bed at 2 am just to check the computer.
As a Christmas present, Trammell wanted us to read some chapters of the Book of Mormon (they are listed in Chapter 3 of Preach My Gospel) that testify of christ. There are about 35 chapters in the list. He then wanted us to write to him and share our feelings.
I thought I would share the letter I sent him.
Dear Tram -
I have read the Book of Mormon several times. Sometimes, I have read it looking specifically for testimonies of Jesus Christ. I have also read it and underlined characteristics, qualities, and descriptions of the nature of Christ.
First, I bear testimony that no matter how well we live our lives, no matter how hard we strive to live the commandments and no matter how much service we render, we can never be perfect in this life. First we cannot be perfect because we all make mistakes. If we wake up at 6 am and vow to behave perfectly all day and do what Jesus would do and think as he would think, undoubtedly, we have blown it by 6:10. Because we are human, we are imperfect. There is no way we can return to be with Heavenly Father by ourselves.
But Heavenly Father, in all of his wisdom, knows us. He sent his Son as our Savior. Only through the Savior, can we ever come back to Heavenly Father. What a sacrifice both Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ made for us. I cannot comprehend such a sacrifice. But the beautiful part is that the sacrifice was for everyone. In 2 Nephi 2 it is pointed out that Jesus Christ's sacrifice is for all who have a broken heart and contrite spirit. And that he will make an intercession for all who believe and they will be saved. When I think of someone going before the Lord and pleading my case and advocating for me, I would want someone who loves me, someone who knows me AND loves me even though they know me.
The Atonement is amazing to me. Of course, I am grateful that my sins can be swept away. And I am grateful that wrongs can be made right and mistakes can be erased. I am also grateful that no matter what I go through in life, no matter what hurt or disappointment I might face, there is someone who knows exactly how I feel. I am never alone. Jesus Christ knows exactly what it feels like to be betrayed by supposed friends, to be hurt intentionally, to be ignored or spurned. He knows what it feels like to be lonesome or sad. We are never truly alone. We can never say that no one knows what it is like, because someone does. That someone is Jesus Christ. He walked our path.....before we did.
The Gospel is so simple, yet we try to make it hard. We are told over and over again, like in 3 Nephi 9 that if we will come unto him, we will have eternal life. We only have to obey the commandments and be like him and we can enter the kingdom. It is possible. Through God, all things are possible. We are told in Ether, that He can show us all things! He can inspire us as to what to say. He can tell us where to go and what to do. He can help us mend relationships. He can give us the words to say in a foreign language. He bring to our remembrance scriptures we have studied. The greatest thing He can do is lead us back to Him.
The steps are relatively simple. Moroni outlines the steps: Have Faith, Repent, Be Baptized and Be Saved. Of course the hardest part is that this does not happen in one day or even one time! We must have continual faith and endure to the end.
I am so grateful for the gifts of the Spirit that are mine. I am so grateful for the Holy Ghost. I feel the Holy Ghost every day and I recognize the Spirit in my life.
Trammell, there are so many gems in these scriptures that testify of Christ, but even more important than the testimony of Nephi, Helaman, the brother of Jared, or Moroni: hear this. I KNOW THAT JESUS CHRIST LIVES. HE IS MY PERSONAL SAVIOR. Without his supreme sacrifice, I could never return to Heavenly Father. I could never live with my family for eternity. I know that he can right all wrongs. He can cure our physical and our spiritual ailments. I have felt his healing power in my life. I have seen unexplainable miracles as he has healed my heart and helped me forgive others. By his grace, I have been forgiven and I have been able to forgive and move forward and progress in the gospel. I cannot put a price or a value on the Atonement for me. Only through the Atonement will I be able to be with my parents, my brothers and their families and my children and their families. This is my fondest desire. If I began today and worked toward that end all the days of my life, it would not be enough. Only through the Savior can we all be together again.
As the days and years come and go, both happy and sad, both hopeful and discouraging, know that one thing will never change: I KNOW THAT JESUS CHRIST IS OUR LORD AND SAVIOR AND I WOULD BE NOTHING WITHOUT HIM. All my gifts, all my talents, all my blessings are from him. I will love the Lord and serve the Lord forever. Please know that your mother has always had and will always have a growing appreciation and testimony of the Savior! This cannot be taken away.
I am humbled to be His sister. I am humbled to be your mother. I cannot adequately express my love for you and because of my great love for you, have a mere inkling of how much Heavenly Father must love each of us.
Merry Christmas! I love you!