Wednesday, October 21, 2009

The DMV - Always a SCARY ADVENTURE

I told you I'd share our visit to the DMV.
It's only about 5 miles from my house, but it may as well be on another planet.

We heard about 7 different languages.
It kind of smelled like athletic socks, curry and a barnyard with a little Bath and Body Works.
I could have used MORE Bath and Body Works.

We were privileged to be exposed to meet some new friends:

QUEENIE
Why was there a 60 year old woman wearing a Broncos jersey AND A DIAMOND TIARA?
Well, she was wearing the Broncos jersey because the Broncos were playing that night.
The diamond tiara?
She was sitting next to HARLEY DAVIDSON MAN.
He had silver ringlets under his leather cap, earrings and one of those cool chains that make it impossible for people to "lift" your wallet.  He was about 60ish too.
Okay........so............she was wearing the tiara (with dead babysbreath in her updo) because SHE JUST GOT MARRIED.
Well she got married on Saturday and this was Monday.
So she had gotten married a couple of days before.
Do you think she slept in the tiara?????


PAT
There was a cute girl with her red hair in a pony tail.
She sat in front of us with her boyfriend.
The girl looked like a normal teen with a t-shirt and jeans.
The boyfriend looked like a normal teen with black plaid shorts and a white t.
He had his lip pierced and he had gauges in his ears.
He had his hair super short and spiked up with his Oakleys on the back of his head, like all the cool guys do...you know...kind of backwards.
Anyway, I wouldn't have thought anything of this couple until they stood up and I could see HIS black sports bra.
I'm confused.


ROMEO
When we walked out of the DMV,
Parker notice a small canopy taking up three parking places.
There was a man selling hot dogs.
I wish you could see this for yourselves.
Our DMV is not near a while bunch of commercial buildings or even near offices.
The only people who would be buying this guys weiners hot dogs are people exiting the DMV.
It was 4:30 and we weren't eating for another WHOLE hour.
Parker wanted a hot dog.
Hey, as a reward for not throwing up while smelling all those odors passing, I figured what the heck.
So we bought a $2 dog.
I handed Romeo $2.50 which totally confused him but then he kind of took it the wrong way.

He stepped around the table and asked, "Well, don't you want anything?  What can I get you?"
As I tried to back up a tad, I answered, "Ummm... no, I'm good."
He offered, "Can I get you a drink?"
And I don't think he meant a Coke from his cooler.
Ewww..........I yelled, "Run Parker, run!"
Okay not really.
We just inched away from the table without taking our eyes off of him.

The DMV was so fun, I'm already looking forward to next year, when we go back to get Parker's license.

5 comments:

The World As I See It said...

Gotta love the DMV's!

smarkuci said...

OK. That's hilarious, especially the tiara girl and the sports-bra guy. Kinda makes you think twice about a universal health care system, doesn't it? Seriously.

Every time I walk into the DMV, the Passport office, the Post Office, or anything government-run, I can't imagine trying to see a doctor under these circumstances. Why would we ever consider leaving that up to the government?

(Getting off my political pedestal now.) ---SM

Melissa said...

I've never had so much fun at the DMV. But serving my mission in Las Vegas sounds very similar.

kys said...

If you had married a stud like that, you'd be sleeping in your tiara, too.

Raven said...

Your DMV is much more interesting than mine. Mine is just filled with Zombie-looking people that shuffle through with their number, staring at the floor with their glazed zombie eyes. It doesn't even smell bad. Though, on second thought, not smelling bad is a good thing. hehe