Garrett came home from work and spent the rest of the day speaking in a Middle Eastern accent.
Even when he was speaking to me in Spanish.
Why would I ever pay for entertainment when I have this?
G: “Mom, isn’t it true that people are trying to make pole dancing an Olympic sport?”
Me: “Uh no!”
G- “No seriously. You should know this. You see the news.”
Me: “I’m looking it up.”
G- “You should.”
He’s right. There was a big movement about year ago unfortunately it died out.
I'm not sure why we care.
G- “I’m making Kool Aid. I need like 4 cups of sugar, right?”
Me: “What? It's ONE cup of sugar. You know that!"
G “No I’m pretty sure I made it with 4 cups of sugar before.”
Me & Parker – “You did not.”
G: “Yeah, I think I did.”
Me: “No it would be like syrupy.”
G: “Yeah I think I did, why do you think the sugar is so low in here. I think I did and it was good.”
G: “I just texted my entire phone book and said, “hey everybody, BIG party tonight 7:30 -10:30 pm, Live DJ, $20 with activity fee, 25000 S. Arapahoe Road.” <- that’s the school address
Me: “You did not.”
G: “Yeah I did. Watch. It’s funny.”
Me: "If one person shows up here, I will kill you."
G: "People send party texts all the time. They get forwarded and forwarded over and over. That’s why I put the address."
Me: "You’re an idiot."
G: "See! People are texting back! This girl just asked where the party was. I told her at the corner of Liverpool and Arapahoe. A boy just texted and said, ‘I’ll come for awhile but then I’m going to the dance.’ And some other kid just texted, “Is this instead of the Homecoming dance?”
Who is dumber? The person who sent the text or the idiots responding?
Me: "Garrett, are you getting a haircut for Homecoming or are you leaving it long?"
Garrett: "I’m leaving it this length. It’s driving me crazy because it is too long, but THEY want me to spike it up. THEY think it looks good long and spiked."
Me: "Please tell me you are going to shave."
Garrett: "Oh, I’m going to trim up the sideburns and shave the mustache, but THEY said I should leave this (stoking his goateeish beard.)"
Me: "What is this? Grooming by committee? Who is THEY?"
Garrett: (looking at me like “Duh! Are you a complete idiot?”) "The CHEERLEADERS."
So, now we know what they were doing at the football game Friday when they weren’t watching the Homecoming Game and cheering their team on, I guess they were discussing Garrett’s Homecoming coiffure.
Well, that was one day of random conversations. That's enough.