Wednesday, October 14, 2009

That's What HE Said.... Conversations with a BONEHEAD BROTHER

Garrett came home from work and spent the rest of the day speaking in a Middle Eastern accent.
Even when he was speaking to me in Spanish.

Why would I ever pay for entertainment when I have this?

G: “Mom, isn’t it true that people are trying to make pole dancing an Olympic sport?”

Me: “Uh no!”

G- “No seriously. You should know this. You see the news.”

Me: “I’m looking it up.”

G- “You should.”

He’s right. There was a big movement about year ago unfortunately it died out.
I'm not sure why we care.

G- “I’m making Kool Aid. I need like 4 cups of sugar, right?”

P: Guffawing

Me: “What?  It's ONE cup of sugar.  You know that!"

G “No I’m pretty sure I made it with 4 cups of sugar before.”

Me & Parker – “You did not.”

G: “Yeah, I think I did.”

Me: “No it would be like syrupy.”

G: “Yeah I think I did, why do you think the sugar is so low in here. I think I did and it was good.”

G: “I just texted my entire phone book and said, “hey everybody, BIG party tonight 7:30 -10:30 pm, Live DJ, $20 with activity fee, 25000 S. Arapahoe Road.” <- that’s the school address

Me: “You did not.”

G: “Yeah I did. Watch. It’s funny.”

Me: "If one person shows up here, I will kill you."

G: "People send party texts all the time. They get forwarded and forwarded over and over. That’s why I put the address."

Me: "You’re an idiot."

G: "See! People are texting back! This girl just asked where the party was. I told her at the corner of Liverpool and Arapahoe. A boy just texted and said, ‘I’ll come for awhile but then I’m going to the dance.’ And some other kid just texted, “Is this instead of the Homecoming dance?”

Who is dumber? The person who sent the text or the idiots responding?

Me: "Garrett, are you getting a haircut for Homecoming or are you leaving it long?"

Garrett: "I’m leaving it this length. It’s driving me crazy because it is too long, but THEY want me to spike it up. THEY think it looks good long and spiked."

Me: "Please tell me you are going to shave."

Garrett: "Oh, I’m going to trim up the sideburns and shave the mustache, but THEY said I should leave this (stoking his goateeish beard.)"

Me: "What is this? Grooming by committee? Who is THEY?"

Garrett: (looking at me like “Duh! Are you a complete idiot?”) "The CHEERLEADERS."

So, now we know what they were doing at the football game Friday when they weren’t watching the Homecoming Game and cheering their team on, I guess they were discussing Garrett’s Homecoming coiffure.

Well, that was one day of random conversations.  That's enough.


valerie said...

lol I'm tellin you, you need to write a book! Thanks for keeping me entertained! :)

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

Thank goodness we have another year of Bonehead Brothers. I don't know what I'll do when they go off to college! (You'll redecorate and breathe easy I'm sure ;)

Ashli Dardenne said...

Oh dear. Is this what I have to look forward to when Michael becomes a teenager? I'll be calling you in about 10 years for mental help.

Raven said...

Love your random conversations. You really do need to write a book. I wish I could remember more of our random conversations to post. I seemed to have lost my notebook. Guess I'd better buy another. There's blogging to be done!

Have a great day,


Margaret aka: Fact Woman said...

He so makes me laugh! Grooming like committee. At least he has the brains to listen to CUTE girls and not the AV club!

Javan said...

Oh, I laughed so hard. That kid of yours is hilarious! I'm going to really miss him when he goes off to college.
Garrett says you have music requests for a Christmas service. Let me know what we should work on so that he doesn't try to play Feliz Navidad with a CD.