Trade Me Lives!

Here's a couple of conversations from yesterday.  I love my life!

Parker walks in the door from lacrosse practice: What time do you we have to leave?

Me: In exactly one hour.
Parker: Are you serious?  (<- that line follows anything distasteful that I say like - you have to clean your room before bed, or go mow the lawn.)
Parker: I'm NOT dressing up for this. This is the dumberst thing.

Me: You have to dress up.  The invitation says business dress.

Parker: Fine.  I'm not wearing a tie though.  That's gay.
Me: That's what business dress is!

In the car

Parker is dressed in black pin stripe dress pants, a french blue shirt and pink tie.
Parker: This is such a waste.  I'm missing the season premier of The Hills for this stupid thing.
Me: It's not a waste.  You should be proud of yourself.
Parker: I'm missing The Hills.

Me: The Hills is the stupidest show ever.  What was that show Trammell use dto watch when he was in high school?
Parker: Laguna Beach.  The Hills is the same thing but they aren't in high school anymore.  It's the same people.

Me: It's the same people?  So they've graduated.  Are they like in college now?

Parker: Kind of but they aren't really in college, they are in like design school or whatever.

Me: But there's no Homecoming or Prom?  So that eliminates half the story lines and drama.
Parker: Oh no, now the drama is someone's girlfriend goes to the bar with someone else ad gets caught.
Me: That is stupid!  What a stupid show.

Parker: Yeah it's totally stupid.

Pulling into the school
Parker: You know what?  This is like a punishment.  Like the smart people get punished by having to come back to the school.
Me: Shut up.
Parker: I'll tell you who the smart people are.  The smart people are the ones who don't show up to this and go in the office and pick up their letter tomorrow.

He's right.  I just came for the cookies.

We made it home.  Here's Parker watching The Hills.  When you have a show THIS good, you don't just show it once on Tuesday night.  You have RERUNS on the very same night it comes out!

CARS,$$$, COOKIES & THE TWILIGHT ZONE

It's Random Thought Tuesday!!!! Yippee!
You can play along with Keely at The Unmom.

Go check her out, steal this awful button and get your random on.
I dare ya!

* I took Garrett's car to have the emissions test done on it yesterday.

While waiting, I listened to his CDs. He has some great ones: Owl City, Passion Pit, Empire of the Sun.

But you won't believe what happened while I was there!

The Kanye West CD spontaneously erupted: sending CD shards all over the parking lot.

Okay, maybe it wasn't spontaneous.

It might have happened when I folded the CD in half.

I wonder how long it will take for him to realize it is missing.

* I was getting the emissions test yesterday because I am going to register FOUR vehicles today. Yep - for some reason I am not excited to part with the $1,416.97.

* You can tell it's Fall! I've been baking. Last week, it was the peanut butter cookies, this week, I made frosted pumpkin cookies. Nothing says Fall like pumpkin! 633 people gave this recipe five our of five stars. I think they are "okay." I ate four of them for breakfast.

* Tiny Baby is TICKED! Tonight is the High School Academic Letter Ceremony - right during the season premier of The Hills!!!!! Plus, the ceremony is "business dress." Parker is feeling really put out! Now, I will brag. He is receiving an academic letter for his outstanding performance last year. In order to letter as a freshman, you have to have a cumulative GPA of 4.0! Go Tiny Baby!!!! We can DVR The Hills.

* I'm going to say something really sexist here-

Most women should NOT be allowed to drive.

I am generalizing here - but women drivers are awful!!!!!!!

They can barely drive, but then you hand them a cell phone, and it is all over!!!!!

Ladies! Put down the cell phone and drive your dang car!

* Oh and today is the 50th anniversary of The Twilight Zone.

I can honestly say that I have never watched an episode.

I just wasn't in to it.

But congrats to the "inventor," "developer," creator" guy!

Happy RANDOM!

I HATE TECHNOLOGY

Letter writing is a lost art. No one writes letters anymore.

This weekend, I found the time to compose a few letters:

Dear Blogger:

Why do you sometimes work and sometimes not?

I hate it when you just decide not to let me space out.
Sometimes I hit my "enter" and nothing happens.

Sometimes when I hit my "enter" key it looks so pretty on my blog, but then when I hit "publish," you just do whatever you want and all the lines are smooshed together.

I think there is a conspiracy going on here! <- See right here, you won't let me pick the font!

PS: Sometimes your "step by step" instructions just take me step by step to CRAZY!

Dear AT&T

Why do you sometimes work and sometimes not?

I'm not fooled!

You don't really increase/improve your coverage.

You just move your "drop zones" around.

Yeah, that one corner in our neighborhood where all the cars would stop to finish their conversations, because they knew that if they went around it, the call would drop? So we can go around the corner now. Thanks! It's fixed.

But now there is one whole street that we can't drive down and talk.

It's the Twilight Zone! Yeah, you can't make, take or continue conversations while driving down that street.

Really? Do you just rotate the drop zones?

Dear LG Phones:

Why do you sometimes work and sometimes not?

I had an LG phone. I liked it. I knew how to use it. Best of all, it was pink.

Remember when we emptied the hot tub and I was cleaning it with 2 inches of water still in it? And I slipped and fell? Yeah, 2 seconds in 2 inches of water destroyed my phone.

So I bought a new LG phone.

Cool! Transistion from old LG to new LG - what's to learn?
Everything!!!!

Why can't you be consistent?

Why must I go through 30,000 steps to send a simple text message?
Is it me? Or is it you?

Which one of us is stupid?
I'm pretty sure it's you guys!

Dear Windows 7:

I sure hope you work!

I'm not technologically inclined.

I love what I have been using - Windows 1.0 or Windows: Prehistoric.

Hey - I like what I know!

My tech guy just hooked up my new computer.

He says my new computer is really fast - even by the world's standards.

What's he saying? My standards are lower than the world's?

Anyway, he did me a "favor."

Everyone else has to wait until October 22, but he loaded Windows 7 on my computer.

He spent quite a bit of time showing me stuff I can't remember.

And he said this program is way different than what I am used to.

What's he saying? That I won't catch on?

Why can't things stay the same?

HAPPY HOUR FRIDAY

So thanks to Raven, I stumbled on HAPPY HOUR FRIDAY.

Here's their illustration

And here is more what my Happy Hour would look like.


So anyway, the question is what makes you happy - as in today -

Here's what makes me happy:

1. NO SCHOOL! I love it!

2. Weekends make me happy!

3. Food makes me happy! Specifically, cookies, butter, bacon, coke and cupcakes - yeah, I think I'm over OD-ing on cupcakes and am ready for some cupcakes.

4. Hearing my kids enjoying playing together. Even if it means that they moved all the furniture out of the family room to race their remote control cars or doling out money so they can go out for wings at 10:00 pm.

5. Fall football weather - cool, crisp evenings with friends watching the game, the cheerleaders and the kids in the stands. I don't know why I get such a kick out of it. Pure entertainment!

6. Getting on my bed to watch LA Ink with Brian and a big bowl of popcorn.

7. Reading a good book (as opposed to reading a stupid book like The Brief (not brief enough) and Wonderous Life of Oscar Wao).

8. A clean house with all of the laundry done. Love it! Don't often achieve it, but I love it!

9. Going to lunch with friends.

10. Watching my kids play lacrosse.

11. Going to dinner with Brian.

12. Knowing everyone is home, safe and sound, in their cozy little beds.

Well, there you have it! It's not that hard to make me happy. It does involve a fair amount of food and the cooperation of my kids! ;)

Have a great weekend!

P.S. It also makes me happy when Blogger isn't acting up. I guess we can't have everything!

YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME

I am fully aware that it is NOT Random Thought Tuesday, but I have some random things to say.

It's my blog and no one is the boss of me and I can put down random thoughts on whatever day I want....or every day.

1. Last night, we happened to notice Trammell's email pop in around 10ish. It was a short paragraph to each of us, which meant that he was still online composing his loooonnnnng email to the family. I hopped on and we emailed back and forth a couple of times -like IMing. It was cool. It's kind of weird to think that he is 13 hours ahead. It was Tuesday night. I was in my jammies sitting in my cozy house at night with the cold rain beating on the windows. It was Wednesday morning where he was in a hot internet cafe with hot rain beating down on the windows.

Is this how you imagined the shops in Cambodia?

Wanna check your email from here?

Not quite how I imagine it!

2. I finally dug out the fall decor yesterday. I always forget what I have, so it's fun to lift the lid of those bins and be surprised. I held off on dragging Halloween stuff out and just stuck to Autumn/Fall.

3. Thank heavens it's a short school week here! No school on Friday! I need some sleep. People keep asking me why we don't have school. I don't know! Who cares? We just don't have school.

4. I went to my SIL's house Sunday night and they were making peanut butter cookies. They gave us some. We ate them all. So on Monday, I made some more peanut butter cookies. Then I went and visited some ladies from church and guess what they gave us? Yep - a plate of peanut butter cookies. We ate them too! I think I'm going to go eat the last ones now, befor eth ekids get home from school. I hate sharing!

5. I'm pretty sure that Parker, Garrett and I did ot just have the common cold a couple of weeks ago when we were sick. See our doctor thought we weren't sick enough. But now that a couple of weeks have passed and our house is like the TB ward with all the hacking and coughing and randomly spiking fevers and mid-afternoon aches, I'm here to tell you WE HAD THE SWINE FLU. It's over now. We're alive. We only infected half the school, the grocery store and 3/4 of the church. It's all good.

Happy Wednesday - not Hump day - cuz remember, I don't like that word!

RANDOM THOUGHT TUESDAY

Yea for Tuesday!
Yea for RANDOM!

Write your own random and link up with Keely at The Unmom!

You’ll have fun! Really!

And now, for today’s RANDOM

*I LOVE Fall!

It snowed yesterday on the last real day of summer. I loved it! It’s supposed to do it again today. Maybe I’ll get out my Fall decorations. Or maybe I should just skip the Fall decorations and go straight to Christmas.

*I should NOT go out in public.

Public riles me! I took a little trip to the mall and Costco yesterday and I would just like to say:
Do NOT wear your velour sweatsuit outside of your house. How many times have aI said this? People! That sweatsuit is for lounging around your family room or staying cozy around the house. If you’ve had it on for more than, say 20 seconds, the butt it all baggy. The clingy velour does NOT hide cellulite or rolls of extra flesh. I don’t care if it is pink, gray or chocolate – do NOT wear it in public.

*Also about fashion – Isn’t the purpose of a thong to eliminate panty lines? If your pants are so tight or the material is so clingy that we can see your THONG lines, what does that say? Don’t answer that.

But I saw a lot of thong lines yesterday. I think I’ll stay home today.

*I really know how to PARTY!

I made some yummy cookies yesterday and to add
some extra special fun to the process, I decided to clean my mixer……..with a toothpick. Yeah, sometimes I get caught up in important projects like that. Like the time I shined the stainless toaster.

*I have been at the bookstore and picked up the book The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao about 100 times.

It won the Pulizter Prize. I read about 30 books a year, so I should probably stop and read a Pulitzer Prize Winner…….BIG MISTAKE.
This book stinks! The language is HORRIBLE well at least the part I can understand. Have of the book is in Spanish slang. When they aren’t saying the “F” word, they are doing it. And language aside, I guess I forgot to go to school when we studied the Dominican Republic. There is a lot of boring history packed in this book. There are tons of footnotes though, so if you 1) care about DR history and 2) enjoy 4 point type, you can learn a lot – besides swear words.
The author teaches at MIT and I’m going to make sure to never take one of his classes.


Well, I think I’ve done a good job illustrating my ignorance today……so I’ll quit while I’m????ahead?????

Go get your velour sweatsuit on and write your own random or curl up on the couch with your own Pulizter Prize trash.

THEY'RE BAAAaaaaCK!

The FLAG BOYS are back!

(Don't forget the "L.")

What are the Flag Boys you ask?

Well - that is better than the question I sometimes ask which is WHY?

The Flag Boys are an elite ;) group of three boys who "help" the cheerleaders rile up the crowd.

You may wonder if the cheerleaders need that kind of help.

Evidently the answer is "Yes."

The Flag Boys have "uniforms" and large flags that are all color coordinated....down to their socks and head bands.

During every football game, they hang out down on the field with the cheerleaders and poms (now we're getting to the real reason to be one) and get the crowd yelling.

These dedicated boys have some of their own stunts too.

But in a ginormous show of support,

they ditch their flags at half time and sit with rapt attention at the 50 yard line gaping, I mean watching, the poms perform.

They have so much school spirit, they are there to show their support!

They even have team dinners before the football games.

Yes all three of them meet at Chili's or Chipotle or somewhere.

UPDATE! THE FUN NEVER ENDS!

It's 8:30 Saturday morning.

Peace and quiet!

All is well with the world!

I'm getting ready to dry my hair,

when I hear talking.

Garrett is on his phone.

He bounds up two flights of stairs to his computer.

I hear him say, "Zazi? No that name isn't familiar."

WAIT! WHAT?

It's familiar to me! I know that name!

He's been questioned by the FBI for three straight days about links to Al-Quaeda and participation in terrorism.

It's front page news!!!!!

I can hear a female voice through his cell phone and I'm all the way downstairs.

He's on the computer looking at all the leases for the self-storage place he runs.

HOLY SOMETHING! He's talking to the FBI!

He doesn't have much for them.

They might meet him at 10:30 and show him pictures and see if any of the people look like any of his renters!?!!!!!???

UPDATE

So based on the information that Garrett gave the FBI,

the names he gave them didn't match up with the names they were looking for.

They never showed up to show him pictures.

Although, he did go to lunch with a Korean/Japanese TV star (a totally different story).

This evening, Zazi and his father were both arrested and the FBI continues to question them

That is the end of our excitement and Garrett's brush with the FBI.

The other NIGHT, I was at church tying quilts when I got the following text:
"Do we have any sausage or a ham steak?"

It was 9:15 PM.

This couldn't be good!

Why can't I have normal kids?
At 9:15, they should be wrapping up their homework, checking their Facebook one more time, texting a friend about lunch the next day.........

NOT MAKING UP RECIPES IN MY KITCHEN!

We went through this a few weeks ago when Parker STARTED Creme Brulee at 10 pm.

So by the time I got home from church,

this is what I found-

He obviously found the sausage (and the bacon).

I went to bed.

A Writer Mama's Tale- The Seduction of Vintage Grapes

I was invited to play a blog version of the old slumber party game “Telephone.”

One blogger started a story and she passes it on. Each blogger adds their portion. It should be fun to see how it turns out.

So here it is:
A Writer-Mama’s Tale – The Seduction of Vintage Grapes

Even the crickets had rested their legs when she sat back in her chair and sighed with a final sip of vintage grapes. Darkness swallowed……..

the sob that threatened to tear from throat as she watched her only child drive away. What did he know about the world outside of….

our small town. Was he ready for what laid ahead of him? Her lip quivered as she thought back to the days when….

Jason toddled behind his father through the vineyards and copied his every movement. Mark was young and full of hope and desire then. His face…..

You can click on any of the sentences above to go to the author's original post. Go on over to Margaret’s at Facts from a Fact Woman tomorrow to see what happens next!

This is my family room:

This is my family room on SPEED:

Saturday, Garrett was invited to go to on a group date with three blondes. He kind of hemmed and hawed and that he already had plans (?). Brian and I were going to be out for the evening. As I was leaving, I asked him what he was doing and he said he wasn't sure but that he would text me when he left the house.

I never received a text.

Finally, I texted him: "What did you decide to do?"

No response.

I texted he and Parker simultaneously, "Where are you guys?"

After about 10 minutes, I received two identical responses: "We're at home, working on our cars."

So this is how they spent their Saturday evening.

And I'm not complaining!
They can turn my family room into a race track ANY TIME!

Sorry blondes!

Boys and their toys!

RaNDoM!!!!!

Don't you love RANDOM THOUGHT TUESDAY???
I do!
I’m the Queen of Random Thoughts
All my thoughts are random
Just give me 30 seconds

Run over to Keely's at the Unmom and link up!

*I hate chocolate. I don’t like chocolate candy. I’ll eat one piece about once a month. I won’t eat chocolate ice cream, brownies, fudge, chocolate chips and certainly no “death by chocolate” desserts. But why do I like chocolate cake? I only like it if it has a frosting other than chocolate. I can’t eat chocolate cake with chocolate frosting. But I can eat this!


For breakfast!

*How about Kanye West? What a total jerk to yank the mic out of Taylor Swift’s (my future dil) hands. Despite Kanye’s apology, Garrett loves Taylor Swift and he cannot find it in his heart to forgive him. I however acknowledge that Kanye is a big spoiled baby and he acted completely inappropriately (I think we’ve discussed his pouting and poor behavior at award shows on this blog before). However, I have to hand it to him: he still showed up on Jay Leno last night AND he said he was stupid and he made no excuses. He said he was sorry to let his feelings hurt Taylor. He can make it up to me by corroborating on a song with her. Garrett says “No!”


*Yesterday, I told the kids “Put your laundry away before you go to bed” about 1,000 times. Seriously, it was like a broken record. I don’t know why I couldn’t let it go. Or, I should have made the world come to a stop and made them come right then and get their laundry and take it right then and put it away. “Be sure to get your whites.” “Don’t forget to take your laundry.” Wow, what a harpy! But look what is in the laundry room right now

The mom in me wants to say, “Poor Garrett – he leaves the house at 5:40 every day and gets home around 8 and still has to do homework. Poor baby. I can help him by putting his laundry away.” The other mom in me wants to text him: “Gte your butt home right now and put away your damn laundry. It’s not that hard.” The child in me wants to open the basement door and throw the entire pile down the stairs……letting it come unfolded and scatter everywhere!

*I get to register 4 out of our 5 cars this month. (And the month is half over) How is that for exciting. For some reason, I'm not exactly rushing to write that check! The only car NOT getting registered is the cheap car! Figures!

*Tuesday is my FAVORITE day....well Tuesday night really. and it's not because of Random Tuesday Thoughts. Tuesday is the day that I write Trammell and Tuesday night (into Wednesday morning) is when we get his email. Yeah, when you have a 20 year old who you only get to communicate with on one day.....it becomes your favorite day. Really! Brian and I leave our computers on and check them every 30 seconds until we go to sleep. Well, he goes to sleep. I go to doze. I sneak out of bed every 15 minutes to check the computer, until I drift off to sleep. then I wake up at 1 am and check the computer. I have NO self control. I sit at the computer bleary eyed and read the email in the middle of the night.

Wanna see one of the 416 pics I got last week?

I knew you did!

Okay, so that was four!

Do YOU see anything WRONG
with this picture?

First, let me explain that this is a picture of the counter in Garrett's bathroom?

Now, do you see anything wrong BESIDES the fact that it is messy?

Hmmm....Garrett asked me to pick up some Slim Jims and some Air Heads for he AND his brother. Bought individually at the grocery, 100 Slim Jims can add up, whereas a Vend Pack is relatively cheap. Same with the Air Heads.

I saw him "set up" the Vend Pack dispenser in the kitchen.

But Vend Packs set up in your bathroom? And what's with the toothbrush "resting" on the Twizzlers?

FRIDAY FIELD TRIP

I'm telling you: The fun just NEVER ends around here!

Last Friday, I went on an extremely glamorous field trip.

Parker stayed home from school sick and I wasn't feeling so hot myself.

I had scheduled a doctor's appointment for a physical that afternoon and figured we would keep the appointment.

We just changed the "well baby" visit into a "sick baby" visit.

Yes, I know he is 14 but that is still a BABY in my mind.

And it was just like old times!
We got the exam room with colorful fish and crabs and seahorses painted all over it.

Just to relive, his childhood, he asked me to read him a book while we were waiting for the doctor. In doctor's office tradition, we read something by Dr. Suess.

They didn't measure his head circumference, but they did check all of his other vitals.

Tiny Baby is..................tiny.

At 4'11" and 91 pounds, he's in the 5% for weight and the >5% for height.

Like we needed a chart to tell us that.

Amazingly, this was the first visit I didn't have to prep my kids with the "answers." He a) told the truth and b) passed.

"So...do you eat a variety of foods including vegetables and fruits? What about meat?"

Does eating a chicken breast with sushi and a salad immediately after school count? I don't know where the two popsicles fit but he did eat the official dinner of pasta with red sauce and steamed broccoli and zuchinni too..........before the bowl of ice cream.

Anyway -

"Food?" Check

"Sleep habits?" Check (kinda - she didn't ask how much sleep and we didn't tell)

"Exercise?" 15 hours of lacrosse a week, plus random running around. Check

"Do you wear your seat belt?" Check

"Do you have good friends? Do they smoke or drink?" Check - I mean Check they don't.

"Do you have a girlfriend?" NO! right answer! Check! That alleviates going down a whole other line of questions!!!!!

I did allow him a small sliver of dignity - barely.

I left during the "private" part of the exam.

I was feeling generous.

Evidently - everything is Check.

Oh and he's recovered (mostly) from the random crud he had.

MINI/MIGHTY MIRACLES

When I am looking, I see the Lord’s hand in my life every single day.

The key is not whether He is participating but whether I am LOOKING/paying attention. I see the tender mercies of the Lord, small miracles and even big miracles in my life and the lives of those around me ALL THE TIME.

Sunday, we attended the Vail Branch. There is a miracle right there! It’s a relatively new branch. We have been visiting Beaver Creek for more than 10 years and the closest church is the Frisco Branch turned Ward about 25 minutes away. Brian has been visiting that branch for nearly 30 years.

But now, Vail has its own branch right in Avon. (For those of you who are unfamiliar with these towns, they are all little ski towns 2 hours outside of Denver).

We went to the Vail Branch for the first time this weekend. The building is BEAUTIFUL.
We were greeted by the missionaries. The chapel was packed. About 75% of the congregation was visiting.

The opening song and the opening prayer were in Spanish. One Sacramental prayer was in English and the other was in Spanish. People bore there testimony in English or Spanish and sometimes in both. The missionaries translated the Spanish into English and the English in Spanish.

It was wonderful. It was church. The miracle is 1) the people in that area have their very own branch to attend 2) the people get to attend a meeting in their own language 3) the Gospel of Jesus Christ is the same wherever you attend and 4) the Spirit speaks the same language to everyone.

It was beautiful!

Don't HATE!

It's everyone's favorite day- RANDOM THOUGHT TUESDAY with Keely at The Unmom! When you read about my exciting life, you're going to be terrribly jealous! Try not to HATE me! This weekend, Garrett had 48 consecutive hours off of work. (You can be jealous of him!)
So we decided to head for the hills.

Never mind that most of us were feeling like DEATH! Parker stayed home from school sick on Friday. He and I sat on the couch all day and argued over who felt well enough to go fetch a DVD for us to watch. I won – he had to go get the DVD. I lost – he brought back Tom & Jerry.

Anyway, we figured a change of couches would be good for all of us. We hung out in the condo and played a couple of games, watched TV and just vegged out. The boys went in the hot tub while we lounged around the firepit. We did get in a round of mini golf and managed to down three plates of the famous Blue Moose Cheese Fries.

Are you jealous yet?

I’m doing some major shopping today! Yep, I’m dropping big coin. I’m getting FOUR NEW TIRES for my car. I can hardly wait!!!!! And if that’s not exciting enough, we’re taking Garrett’s car in for new tires too! WooHoo! We’re going to look so cute and hip and stylin with our new tires! Can’t think of anything more fun to purchase. I think I’m going to go for………….black.

You’re jealous! Admit it! I just heard on the morning news that we're (the U.S.) is #2! Switzerland is #1 now because of our recent economic troubles. I want to be #1! I'm officially jealous of Switzerland and their numbered bank accounts, chocolate, time pieces and their #1 status. Give us back our #1!

Are you/your kids watching President Obama’s speech? Whether you chose to “let” your kids watch or not, consider this: It is a sad, sad day when Americans refuse to allow their children to hear the President speak. Back in the day before the integrity of the office was destroyed (I’ll let you decide EXACTLY when that happened, President of the United States was a revered position and demanded the utmost respect. Boys and girls went to bed at night dreaming of someday being the President of the world’s most powerful country. Regardless of politics, all Americans at least had respect for the office. What happened? Don’t answer that!

Guess what I got in the mail Friday?
GOLD! Pure Gold!
Okay, it came in the form of a photo card.
Trammell sent home his photo card with 416 pictures of Cambodia.
He had given us strict instructions NOT to put it in our computer, because evidently it’s been in several virus infected computers all over Cambodia internet cafes.
I did what any excited and responsible person would do – I put it in Costco’s computer.
It only took 40 minutes to burn two DVD’s.

Now you are jealous!!!!