Thursday, April 29, 2010

I NEED a Dress!

Dear Dress Buyer for Nordstrom, J. Crew, Ann Taylor, Macy's and every other retail store -

I am looking for a dress.
I wear a dress to church every Sunday.
I also have several special occasions coming up - weddings, graduation, etc.

You have 100's of dresses on your website, but not a single one that I would buy.

This is pretty, but I'm looking for a dress with sleeves.
Don't even think of suggesting this -

I am NOT wearing a gray T or any color T under a strapless gown.

So to better help you take my money,
I'll tell you what I'm looking for -
Sleeves - They can be long or short but not strapless or sleeveless.
Not too low cut - I know.  I'm crazy.  But I'm just not feelin' the whole Cougar trying to "catch" some young thing.  I'm wearing this to church.  I'm not on the prowl.
Hemline to knee or longer - Once again, when I get out on the dance floor - its not THAT kind of dancing that I'll be doing!

It can be any fabric or color...........except ugly.
Let's see what you got!

I said I wanted SLEEVES -
Thanks for the sleeves, but is it too much to ask for something NOT out of "I Dream of Jeanie?"  Please - no 60's prints.

Thanks for toning down the pattern, but I'd also like something that covers my "unmentionables" AND my varicose veins.

Teen Slumber Party?  NO!

What the?  NO!
and NO!

Seriously, does it have to be this hard?


valerie said...

The second to last would look great with a gray t shirt under it! lol Good luck with your search. :)

Dawn said...

Wow, I totally agree with you Gina! I'm shopping for a nice dress to wear to my parents' 40th anniversary party and I'm in the fetal position due to what is out there!

Do women really want to look like teenaged hookers? Did I miss the memo?

Small Town Mommy said...

Some of those dresses are actually very pretty, just not for me. I agree, I want something that will cover the parts I wish to hide. Good luck!

Jenn said...

Have you ever checked Downeast Basics? They make the famous "Utah shirts," but they also have very cute dresses/church-wear (it's ALL modest.) I just got their new catalog and they now have a more formal line (all under $60.) I love their stuff! I usually have something or another from there on for church. Wroughten Apples in Parker also sells quite a bit of their stuff. Maybe check them out?

I just checked and I didn't see all of the more formal stuff online.

Mama Badger said...

Ok that last one is her Dad's undershirt, right? That's not a dress.

I have the same problems. I usually do pretty well at Macy's, though.

Good luck!

Keely said...

This is why I don't wear dresses.

Melissa said...

I looked for a modest semi-formal dress in January. Could not find a single one. Perhaps you could visit, or Maybe they'd have "Mother of the Bride" dresses that don't look too matronly.

Adrienne said...

This post was hilarious ...sorry it is such a pain to find a dress

Missty said...

LOL. So funny. And your right it is so hard. Either you look like a teen or all frumpted out.

Good luck.

Ashli Dardenne said...

What about Good Will? Maybe they have something there you might like. HAHAHAHA!

Shirley said...

I've been trying to find a new dress for six months. Can't find I settle for new shoes and pocketbooks. LOL

Don and Kelley said...

I am looking for a dress to! It is making me crazy!

Lewis Family said...

I haven't seen a decent dress around here in ages. And I always make it a point to look around Easter when stores are a little more likely to have them. If you want to look older than 18, but younger than 80- it's darn near impossible. Good Luck! ~Emily

Charlotte said...

I had this same problem last time I tried to buy a dress. It is so frustrating. Good luck.