The other night around 10 o'clock, I was winding down by reading on my bed.
In comes Garrett whining <- literally, about how hungry he is.
I've been through this about 40 million times. I know better that to suggest something as minute as a bowl of ice cream or a bowl of cereal, but I'll play along.
Garrett: "I'm ssstttaarrvvving. I need food!"
Me: Without even looking up from my book, "Have an apple. Have a burrito. Have some salami and cheese and crackers. Have some popcorn...."
Garrett: "No, I need something big. I need a meal."
Me: " Make a sandwich. Make some bacon. Have a noodle bowl."
Garrett: "I'm going to die."
I continue to read and ignore his pleas.
He gives up and leaves.
Not two minutees later, the phone rings.
In the 1/2 second it takes me to pick it up and answer, I think I see Garrett's cell phone number on caller ID.
Caller: "Yes, this is Jeffrey from Social Services. It has come to our attention that you have an underfed child in your house."
I start laughing so hard that I have to hand the phone to Brian.
Caller: "Yes, this is Jeffrey from Social Services."
Brian: Going along with the little charade - "Yes?"
Caller: "Evidently, you have a starving child in your house. We have recieved several complaints from his teachers that he is malnourished and needs to be fed."
Caller: "Yes, it's cruel to starve him. You should take him to Wendy's."
Caller: "This is a very serious situation and if you and your wife don't rectify it right away, we will have to remove HER from the house."
Brian: "You'll remove my WIFE from the house?"
Brian: " Ahhh...well, we'll see if we can work something out."
Where does Garrett come up with this?
Why can't he put this kind of effort toward his homework?