Thursday, December 17, 2009


The other night around 10 o'clock, I was winding down by reading on my bed.
In comes Garrett whining <- literally, about how hungry he is.

I've been through this about 40 million times.  I know better that to suggest something as minute as a bowl of ice cream or a bowl of cereal, but I'll play along.

Garrett: "I'm ssstttaarrvvving.  I need food!"
Me: Without even looking up from my book, "Have an apple. Have a burrito.  Have some salami and cheese and crackers.  Have some popcorn...."
Garrett: "No, I need something big.  I need a meal."
Me: " Make a sandwich.  Make some bacon. Have a noodle bowl."
Garrett: "I'm going to die."
I continue to read and ignore his pleas.
He gives up and leaves.

Not two minutees later, the phone rings.
In the 1/2 second it takes me to pick it up and answer, I think I see Garrett's cell phone number on caller ID.

Me: "Hello?"
Caller: "Yes, this is Jeffrey from Social Services.  It has come to our attention that you have an underfed child in your house."

I start laughing so hard that I have to hand the phone to Brian.

Brian: "Hello?"
Caller: "Yes, this is Jeffrey from Social Services."
Brian: Going along with the little charade - "Yes?"

Caller: "Evidently, you have a starving child in your house.  We have recieved several complaints from his teachers that he is malnourished and needs to be fed."
Brian: "Really?"
Caller: "Yes, it's cruel to starve him. You should take him to Wendy's."
Brian: "Mmm...hmmm..?"
Caller: "This is a very serious situation and if you and your wife don't rectify it right away, we will have to remove HER from the house."
Brian: "You'll remove my WIFE from the house?"
Caller: "Yes."
Brian: " Ahhh...well, we'll see if we can work something out."

Where does Garrett come up with this?
Why can't he put this kind of effort toward his homework?


Don and Kelley said...

That is so funny!

valerie said...

Funny!!! Sooo...did you feed him?

Amber and Lucas said...

HAHAHA! This made me laugh so hard! What a funny guy!

Shirley said...

So...was there a late night run to Wendy's or did the poor child starve?

Patty Edwards said...

I am so afraid that I'm seeing my future flash before my eyes. The 9 year old now eats more than Larry & I combined and is ALWAYS hungry.

Ellie Belen said...

One creative kid.