What the Heck Wednesday

I had plans.

Oh I had plans.
But I'm not feeling well and I'm fuzzy headed.
I can't think.

And this is the second day in a row of feeling like I'm on some kind of drugs and all I've taken is two ibuprofen. Hey, maybe I accidentally took Brian's Lipitor.
THAT would explain a lot!

So I was going to get up and upload the video of last night's performance and entertain you.
But I couldn't upload it on Blogger.

I couldn't upload it to YouTube.
I'd like to say it's because of my fuzzy-headedness, but it also might be because I am completely techno-challenged.

I will replay THIS phone conversation for you:
ME: "Hi, I'd like to get a refill on a prescription for my husband but I have new insurance information as well."

Lady at Mail Order Prescription Place: "Ohhhhh........I will have to forward you to the new insurance information department."

Me: "Okay. Thank you."

New Lady: "Good morning.  How can  help you?

Me: "I would like to order a refill for my husband but I have new insurance information."

New Lady: "Okay, do you have his prescription number?"

Me: "Yes, I do. I also have new prescription insurance information for you." (Because I am sooo organized.)

Lady: "Okay, go ahead and give me the prescription number."

Me: "123456789"

Lady: "Thank you. Oh I already have your new insurance information."

Me: I'm wondering how they got that information, they could be siphoning off my social security, but really, what do I care? "Okay, great!"

Stupid Lady: "Ohhhhhh...this requires pre-authorization. Has he ever taken this drug before."

Me: "Uh, yes, that's why I'm calling for a REFILL."

Stupid Lady: "Mmmmm...... so he has taken this before."

Me: "Yes"

Stupid Lady: "I'm going to have to send you to the Preauthorization department. They'll need the doctor's name and phone number."

Next Stupid Lady: "How can I help you?"
Me: Really? Do I have to repeat everything? "Yes, I'd like to refill prescription 123456789."

Stupid Lady: "Mmmmmhmmm....ohhhhh...that needs preauthorization."

Me: "I don't get it. It's for Lipitor. It's not for crack cocaine."

Stupid Lady: She doesn't think it's funny....not one bit. "Well this is for a 90 day supply and he takes one a day and if it's for more than a 60 day supply, he needs prior authorization."

Me: "Really? What do you think he's going to do with it? Sell it on the street to Lipitor addicts? What's the street value?"

Stupid Lady: "Does he have any now or will he buying any out of pocket?"

Me: "Where would he buy it?  On the street corner?  We're tallking about cholesterol medicine. Do you think he's going to take a handful and try to commit sucide?"

Stupid Lady:  She drops that line of questionng. "What is the doctor's name?"

Me: "Dr. Williams."

Stupid Lady: "What is his first name?"

Me: "I don't know. It's not printed on this prescription bottle."

Stupid Lady: "Well, I need his first name."

Me: "Wait, I'll try looking it up on the internet." How many Dr. Williams can there be? Plenty.  But I persevere. "Oh it's Andrew."

Stupid Lady: "Yes, and can you verify his address?"

Me: Wait. What? Verify? You mean you've been freaking staring at this information on the computer screen and this is just to test me? I verify the street address: "123 North Main Street."

Stupid Lady: She is unsatisifed.  "And what is the city, state and zip code?"

Me:  I give it to her....guessing at the zip.  Evidently, I guessed right.

Stupid Lady: "I need you to give me his fax number."

Me: "I don't have his fax number. How would I have his fax number?"

Stupid Lady: "Fine. I'll guess I can look it up. Okay, I'll fax them a form and wait for them to fax me back and then we can process it."

I don't trust this system.
I get her phone number and the case number so I can call the doctor's office and have them just call and preauthorize the meth Lipitor. 

I call the doctor's office and get the following recording:
Thank you for calling Dr. Williams, Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones.
If you are a doctor calling about a patient, please press 1.
If you are calling about a refill, please hang up and call your pharmacist.
WTH?
If you are a patient and need to schedule an appointment please dial 2.

I'm dialing 2.
I already went the "call your pharmacist" route.

Nice, innocent receptionist: "Dr. Williams, Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones, how can I help you?"
Me: "Yes, I just got off the phone with my mail order pharmacy and they need pre-authorization to refill my husband's crack cocaine."
SILENCE
Me: "It's really just Lipitor, but they think it's some kind of class 4 controlled substance."
Nice lady luckily laughs instead of forwarding me to the police.
She quickly and efficiently takes care of everything.

No wonder I am fuzzy headed.