Wednesday, February 10, 2010

What the Heck Wednesday

I had plans.
Oh I had plans.
But I'm not feeling well and I'm fuzzy headed.
I can't think.


And this is the second day in a row of feeling like I'm on some kind of drugs and all I've taken is two ibuprofen. Hey, maybe I accidentally took Brian's Lipitor.
THAT would explain a lot!


So I was going to get up and upload the video of last night's performance and entertain you.
But I couldn't upload it on Blogger.
I couldn't upload it to YouTube.
I'd like to say it's because of my fuzzy-headedness, but it also might be because I am completely techno-challenged.
I will replay THIS phone conversation for you:
ME: "Hi, I'd like to get a refill on a prescription for my husband but I have new insurance information as well."


Lady at Mail Order Prescription Place: "Ohhhhh........I will have to forward you to the new insurance information department."

Me: "Okay. Thank you."

New Lady: "Good morning.  How can  help you?

Me: "I would like to order a refill for my husband but I have new insurance information."

New Lady: "Okay, do you have his prescription number?"


Me: "Yes, I do. I also have new prescription insurance information for you." (Because I am sooo organized.)


Lady: "Okay, go ahead and give me the prescription number."


Me: "123456789"


Lady: "Thank you. Oh I already have your new insurance information."


Me: I'm wondering how they got that information, they could be siphoning off my social security, but really, what do I care? "Okay, great!"


Stupid Lady: "Ohhhhhh...this requires pre-authorization. Has he ever taken this drug before."


Me: "Uh, yes, that's why I'm calling for a REFILL."


Stupid Lady: "Mmmmm...... so he has taken this before."

Me: "Yes"

Stupid Lady: "I'm going to have to send you to the Preauthorization department. They'll need the doctor's name and phone number."




Next Stupid Lady: "How can I help you?"
Me: Really? Do I have to repeat everything? "Yes, I'd like to refill prescription 123456789."


Stupid Lady: "Mmmmmhmmm....ohhhhh...that needs preauthorization."


Me: "I don't get it. It's for Lipitor. It's not for crack cocaine."


Stupid Lady: She doesn't think it's funny....not one bit. "Well this is for a 90 day supply and he takes one a day and if it's for more than a 60 day supply, he needs prior authorization."


Me: "Really? What do you think he's going to do with it? Sell it on the street to Lipitor addicts? What's the street value?"


Stupid Lady: "Does he have any now or will he buying any out of pocket?"


Me: "Where would he buy it?  On the street corner?  We're tallking about cholesterol medicine. Do you think he's going to take a handful and try to commit sucide?"


Stupid Lady:  She drops that line of questionng. "What is the doctor's name?"


Me: "Dr. Williams."


Stupid Lady: "What is his first name?"

Me: "I don't know. It's not printed on this prescription bottle."


Stupid Lady: "Well, I need his first name."

Me: "Wait, I'll try looking it up on the internet." How many Dr. Williams can there be? Plenty.  But I persevere. "Oh it's Andrew."


Stupid Lady: "Yes, and can you verify his address?"

Me: Wait. What? Verify? You mean you've been freaking staring at this information on the computer screen and this is just to test me? I verify the street address: "123 North Main Street."

Stupid Lady: She is unsatisifed.  "And what is the city, state and zip code?"

Me:  I give it to her....guessing at the zip.  Evidently, I guessed right.


Stupid Lady: "I need you to give me his fax number."


Me: "I don't have his fax number. How would I have his fax number?"

Stupid Lady: "Fine. I'll guess I can look it up. Okay, I'll fax them a form and wait for them to fax me back and then we can process it."

I don't trust this system.
I get her phone number and the case number so I can call the doctor's office and have them just call and preauthorize the meth Lipitor. 


I call the doctor's office and get the following recording:
Thank you for calling Dr. Williams, Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones.
If you are a doctor calling about a patient, please press 1.
If you are calling about a refill, please hang up and call your pharmacist.
WTH?
If you are a patient and need to schedule an appointment please dial 2.

I'm dialing 2.
I already went the "call your pharmacist" route.

Nice, innocent receptionist: "Dr. Williams, Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones, how can I help you?"
Me: "Yes, I just got off the phone with my mail order pharmacy and they need pre-authorization to refill my husband's crack cocaine."
SILENCE
Me: "It's really just Lipitor, but they think it's some kind of class 4 controlled substance."
Nice lady luckily laughs instead of forwarding me to the police.
She quickly and efficiently takes care of everything.

No wonder I am fuzzy headed.


5 comments:

valerie said...

ROFL!!! Why don't I think of that kind of stuff to say? I hope you are feeling better soon! Maybe you just need to pop a few of Brians meds. :)

Frogs in my formula said...

Hahahaha. I feel your pain with the dumb phone people who ask you to repeat everything! Too funny.

qandlequeen said...

It's much easier to get meth and a lot cheaper. Your weight just falls off (along with your teeth - AWESOME diet trick) so surely your cholesterol drops. Go that route.

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

LOL! Love it. Insurance companies/pharmacists/doctors just suck. Seriously. It's not like it takes a bunch of effort to help us out, but no! They're too busy/important/annoying to be helpful.

Hope you feel better. I made cupcakes during the snowapocolypse yesterday. I'll beam you some.

McMom said...

My Canadian husband thinks you should just move to Canada, and my policeman friend says it's easier to get a medical marijuana license. But, all I could think about while reading this post was that I really hope you get the video to upload so I can give my violin playing 12 year-old something to aspire to.