THINGS I'VE LEARNED WHILE MOMMYING BOYS

It's been a long week.
What? It's only Tuesday?
Seriously?
Whatever.
At least it's RTT - RaNDoM THouGHT TueSDaY!

Go on over and see Keely at The UnMom and hook up!

And now -
THINGS I'VE LEARNED WHILE MOMMYING BOYS -

1) Your definition of a "clean" room and their's are miles apart. They have a high tolerance for clothing on the floor and are allergic to hangers.

2) Once they hit 13, you need to cook/prepare/have available TWO dinners each night.
Not snacks, not a bowl of ice cream, not a bowl of cereal, not a handful of popcorn or pretzels - two MEALS.
And they need to be different.

3) There are a LOT of slang words for private parts.
Example from last night:
Me: "Little Jimmy, say the blessing on the dinner."
Little Jimmy's Brother: "Yeah and don't forget to bless my Fruity Pebbles."

Note: It was dinner, not breakfast.
Still don't get it?  Remember, cereal is NOT dinner.

4) Never, ever ground your boys.
Really?  Who is supposed to be punished?

Real life convo -
Parker - "Yeah, my friends are always getting grounded.  How come you never ground us?"
Me: "What?  And torture myself?  I'd rather hit you and get it over with."

5) If you ever feel like putting your hands around your son's neck and squeezing really, really hard, you are normal.
Try not to do it.
Try to walk away.

6) Don't use idle threats that you could never or would never enforce.
We were at Disneyland with friends and the mom said,
"If you don't quite pinching your brother,
you're going to go sit in the car in the parking lot."
Her son knew THAT would never happen.
Who would put their kid in the car in the parking lot of Disneyland?
Be realistic.
Like when I was shopping with Garrett last fall and said,
"If you don't cut it out, I'll give you a round house kick to the head."
I could do it.
Practice round house kicks in your bedroom.
You need to be ready to follow through on threats.

7) Remember, the prime motivation to BUILD something is to DESTROY it.
Don't get all excited and think they are mini architectural geniuses when they spend hours building
Legos,
Blocks,
Popsicle Stick Houses,
Gingerbread Houses,
it's not to be creative........it's to wreak havouc.
What goes up, must come down - preferably with fire.

8) Sometimes matches aren't enough to burn things.
Cotton balls dipped in wax, lit on fire with a lighter and launched from a catapult are much more effective.

9) Sound and noise are GOOD.
Loud sounds are BETTER.
Silence is DANGEROUS.

10) Encourage contact sports.
It will be harder to determine whether YOU are responsible for the bruises or not.

11) Boys are the best thing that will ever happen to you.
Boys ROCK!
They make you laugh. They make you cry.
They make you think.  They make you wonder.
They are big and hairy and smelly and sweaty and sweet and amazing and achingly human.
I LOVE BOYS!