School Shopping with Boneheads

I don't want school to start.
I do want school to start.
I just can't decide.
But spending time "Back to School" shopping with the Boneheads defnitely makes the decision easier.


"Okay, Garrett, what do you need for your apartment."
"I don't know."
"Well, you need things like cleaning supplies and dish towels and an iron and.............."
"Wait.  What?  I thought my apartment was furnished."
Shoot me.  Shoot me now.




"Hmmm........so do you guys have all of your bedding?"
Like a lawyer, I NEVER ask a question I don't already know the answer to.
"Umm yeah..........I do."
"No you don't.  Do you have sheets?"
"Yeah, remember you bought them.  They're in the corner of my room."
"That's a comforter."
"Oh, it didn't come with sheets?"
"No.  It's just a comforter."
"Oh then, I guess I need sheets."




"Guys - look at these pillows.  Here........you should feel them and see if any of them have the feel you are looking for."
"Oh look.  This one says it's for back and side sleepers.  Hmmm.......that's me.  But I don't like it."
Someone reading the labels under their breath - "King.....Queen.....STD...........
"Ewww.......this is an STD pillow!  Who wants a pillow that's an STD?"
He immediately picks it up and hucks it at his brother.
"I can't believe they would sell pillows with STD's."
The comments and pillow hucking go on and on.
There is general mayhem in the pillow aisle.
I walk away.
We leave without pillows.




"Do you still have the mattress pad we bought from last time?"
"Oh, I think I left it on the bed in the dorm.........so I guess I need one."
"Did you find the desk lamp we bought your freshman year?"
"Ummmm.......nope."
"Really, cuz we didn't go through your stuff when you were gone.  It should still be on the shelf.  But okay, put that lamp in the cart."
Upon arriving home...........
"Found the lamp!"
"Of course you did!"




I pick up a pack of dish clothes and a pack of dish towels.
At our house, we have three types of dish clothes.
1) White dish clothes - for wiping down counters with hot soapy water.
2) White dish towels - for drying counters. Techincally, they should never get stained because they are used to wipe already clean counters.
3) Patterned dish towels - for drying hands after washing them
We have a little problem at home distinguishing between the three, so I will use this as a futile teaching moment.
"Garrett, look at these.  Do you know what they are for?"
"Duh!  These (pointing at the white dish clothes) are to get wet and wipe down counters.  These (pointing to the white dish towels) are to wipe the rest of Cheeto stuff of my hands after I kind of wash them."
Where is the knife aisle?


We did get a few things, but I had to quit before blood was shed.  I know my limits.