Casually slipped into a conversation -
"Yeah, so I will probably, um, go on a date Thursday night."
"Yeah. Mark and I might take some girls out on a date?"
"I don't know."
"I don't know, maybe to like the corn maze or something."
"Well, don't forget. You're not asking anyone out until we go on OUR date."
Yep - it's a family rule.
BEFORE you go on any dates, you have to ask ME out.
You'd think that would discourage dating until 25!
The rules are as follows -
1) You must call me up IN ADVANCE.
2) You must have a plan.
3) You must ask me out for a specific date and time and tell me the plan.
4) You must pick me up.
5) Take me on a date - it can be short and cheap.
6) You must pay.
How easy is that?
Yet most of my three sons have had an EPIC fail.
Garrett called in advance (and not even from the same room) and asked me out on a date on a Thursday night to get ice cream. Fine.
He called in a panic that day and moved our date to 5 pm SO HE COULD GO OUT WITH ANOTHER GIRL at 7!
Parker asked me out to get ice cream after his driver's license test.
He called me on my cell while I was driving AND HE WAS IN THE PASSENGER SEAT!
Our date was to Cold Stone Creamery.
As soon as we walked in, he promptly told me I HAD to get a Love it size.
"What if I didn't want a Love it?"
"But you have to! We're doing buy one get one free on my Wolf Card."
"You can't tell your date what to order!"
As if calling your mother up, picking her up and driving her somewhere for date isn't fun enough,
there is more to this outing.
Once I've mortified you by announcing to anyone who will listen, that this is a date and that's it's your first date, and you've secured your ice cream and are hunching down in the booth in the back of the store, we down to the nitty gritty:
"Mom's Rules for Dating"
I have NEVER seen boys concentrate on ice cream so hard in my life.
Yes, it starts out pretty tame -
Shake hands with her parents.
Let her parents know where you are going and what time you will be home.
and gradually builds up to "Don't go into the girl's house if no on is home." And "Don't go into a girl's bedroom."
And then I get a little bit more specific about appropriate dating behaviors.
Usually, their eyes shoot up from the ice cream in horror and quickly dart back - not wanting to make eye contact.
Then they slouch down further in the booth, duck their head into the ice cream cup and say, "Okay. Okay. Okay."
I don't know if they hear me over the buzz in their head of the continual loop "Please make her stop talking. Please make her stop talking."
And then that's it.
If you survive,
you can now ask someone ELSE - more attractive and who doesn't give lectures and will more than happily order a Love it - out.