Thursday, September 30, 2010

HOMECOMING FUN

It's a big week for fun around here.
Who cares about getting an education when you can wear your pajamas to school, dress up as your favorite Disney character and miss school to ride the Spirit Bus?
Yesterday, Tiny Baby and 139 of his closet friends skipped school to run <- literally run, around 9 schools and whoop and holler and fill little kids with sugar.
The Flag Boys lead the big parade which includes the Pep Band (you should see the 6'5" tuba player try not to bang his tuba on the low ceilings of elementary school!), the cheerleaders, poms, reresentatives from every sport and kids from student council.

A good time was had by all!
Today - Homecoming Parade, BBQ & Carnival at the school, Pep Rally, and Bonfire!!!!
Did I say Trig or US History?  No.  I did not.  There will be none of that!

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

SOCIAL NETWORK

Remember last May's Wedding of the Century?
It took me about 7 posts to tell about it! 
You can go back and look in the May archives if you need a refresher.


It was the BEST.WEDDING.EVER!
It was the marriage of my neighbor Elizabeth Chambers and Armie Hammer.

They've been busy since the wedding!Armie's movie - Social Network comes out this weekend.

Surely, you've heard about it.
Surely, you're going to see it!
He's been on the media tour for the last few weeks.
He actually had 74 interviews in a couple of days AND Entertainment Weekly has already started a campaign to nominate him for "Best Supporting Actor."

Watch this short Today Show interview with both of them.
Aren't they so cute???/



We're going to see it Friday night.
My neighbor has rented out the theater and we're having a par-tay.
Can't wait!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

SLEEPLESS IN DENVER

Yeah - you all go ahead and party since it's RaNDoM TueSDay!  Laugh, eat cupcakes and just blog away.
But do it quietly!
I'm sleeping! (finally)
Tip toe on out of here
and go see Keely at The Un Mom!
You can be as loud as you want.......over there!

*In exhaustion, we shut the house down last night at 10 pm.
Lights out.  TV off.
Tiny Baby in bed - check.
Me in bed - check.
Brian in bed - check.

And then it got DESTROYED!
The whole household went crazy!

* 10:44 - Garrett called

In an act of desperation Garrett bought a Go Phone.
He's been incommunicado for 10 days.........yes incommunicado is a terminal illness!
The minute he arrived in his tiny college town with no mall, his phone started acting up.
The town doesn't have the 3G network - how's that for "out there?"
So he sent his phone "in" (as in to a real city) for repair.
It has just about killed him.
He doesn't know when he's getting it back and couldn't take it one more minute.
He had to call and tell us.
Obviously, it couldn't wait.


* Earlier in the day, I received a phone call and the caller ID proclaimed it was someone from a roofing company in San Jose.  I almost didn't answer it.
But I did.
The caller addressed me as "Mom."
Wow!  I was confused.
Then he started talking about taking a test.
My head was spinning.
"Ahhhh...." it clicked.  It's Trammell.
But wait, I just talked to him.
But it sounds like him.
"Oh wait!"  The lightbulb of mom recognition went off.
Of course!  Don't doubt my mom powers.  Of course I would recognize my offspring.
It was Garrett!
He borrowed a phone and called to tell me he just finished his first "real" college test.
And he got 102/100 - I was even more confused!


*10:48 - Trammell called.
I got off the phone with Garrett to take his phone call.

He wanted to tell us about a date that was THREE DAYS AGO.  I've talked to him 15 times since then and he wants to talk about it NOW?

* 11:00 - All the upstairs lights went on.
I thought maybe Parker had suddenly remembered something he needed for school.

Me -"Parker?  What are you doing?"
P- groans
Me -"Parker?  What are you doing?"
P- "Huh?  What time is it?"
Me- "Sweetie, it's 11:00"

I see that he is totally dressed.
He groans, whips off his shirt, starts undoing his pants and shoves his bedroom door closed and climbs back in bed.
Turns out, he thought it was 5 am and time to get up.

* By now, Brian and I were wide awake and couldn't go back to sleep.

* Turns out, Tiny Baby must have had a sleepless night too.
Here he is at 5:30 am - looking rested, refreshed and ready to go.
That's how I felt too!

* Brian left for work this morning but not before proclaiming:
"New rule - you call here after 10 pm only in the cases of emergency.
Emergencies are blood, incarceration, no wait, incarceration can wait.

If you are stupid enough to get in jail, don't call here at all."
Alrighty then!
I'm going back to bed!

Monday, September 27, 2010

REGIFTING - THE GOOD KIND

Newlyweds are often tempted to "regift" some of their "extra" wedding gifts - the cow shaped creamer, the varigated yarn, crocheted pot holders and the avocado green toaster that someone obviously "regifted" to them.

A couple of weeks ago, some friends of ours showed up with this -
It wasn't cupcakes!
Why would we want three sticks in water?

A long time ago - 30 years ago, Brian's family lived just a couple of miles from where we currently live.

They had a beautiful house with a garden, a barn and hundreds of trees that had been nurtured from seedlings to maturity.

One day, Brian's dad took a willow tree branch cut from one of his trees and gave it to his neighbors.
There were no fancy preparations or fertilizers, they just stuck that branch right into the ground.
And it grew.
It grew into a fabulous willow tree.

Thirty years later, those people still live in that house. And the willow tree still grows in the backyard.
These little branches were cut from that willow tree.
These neighbors wanted us to regift the tree to us so we could have a piece of it in our yard.

Isn't that cool?
Not all regifting is bad!

Friday, September 24, 2010

This Week Wasn't Long Enough!

FINALLY!  It's Friday!
Who thinks Mrs. 4444's should do Friday Fragments EVERY DAY?
Raise your hand and go on over to Half Past Kissin' Time and tell her!


* I'm on a little 5 hour drive right now........to the middle of Wyoming.


* When we get there, we get to pull a handcart like a pioneer for 6 or 7 miles.


* I hate dirt.


* I hate wind.


* One of my talents is whining.


* That's why I don't have girls.  In this household, only one person can whine at a time.  And it's going to be me.


* I can be bribed with food.


* That's why I'm going to Wyoming.  After the trekking around, they feed you really good food AND all you can eat homemade cookies.


* Brian bribes me to come to his office with donuts.
It works every time.
It goes like this:
B- "Are you coming to see me at work today."
Me- "ummm....no."
B- "Are you sure?
Me - "Yeah."
B- " I'll have a little white bag with a chocolate twist and a maple cake in it."
Me - "Okay.  I'll see you in a little while."


* Tiny Baby turns 16 in about 3 weeks.


* All of my kids HATE having birthday parties.


* So I should have a surprise party for him.  Shouldn't I?


* When we get to Wyoming, I should probably wear hiking boots/shoes  and not my way cute Ed Hardy's with skulls, knives, geishas and stuff huh?

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Collegiate Guest Blogger

Today we have a "guest" blogger.
He doesn't know he's a guest blogger, but that's not important.

Garrett was asked to write a one page personal sketch for a class.
It could be about anything.
He made the mistake of sending it sent it to me.

It's untitled, but they were supposed to submit it under a "pen name."
His pen name is ANITA GUTGRAY
Say it aloud!

Thank you Garrett for unknowingly supplying today's post!

A common misconception among fourteen year olds is that they are invincible. However, because I have always been ahead of my time, I was only four when I discovered that I was invincible. Despite how young I was, my memory is still vivid of that day in Sandy, Utah. It was a typical day. I ate breakfast, got myself dressed, went to preschool, got dragged along on several errands, did some napping, and pretty much just hung out. Toward the end of the afternoon, I got tied up in an adult conversation on the end of my driveway. My mom and her friend were waiting for my brother to come home from school and were just chit-chatting about who knows what, typical parent nonsense. Since it had no relevance to me and being the invincible big kid I knew I was, I decided to roll out.



I headed to the backyard for some adventure. I didn’t have to go far. The Little Cottonwood Creek ran through my backyard. This time I wasn’t the only one hanging out by the creek. A visitor came to get dinner as well. I stopped and stared for a minute at what I saw. Right there, 20 feet in front of me, was a giant Tiger walking along the creek. When what I saw finally clicked in my brain,. I sprinted up the driveway, past my mom and into the house. My mom saw me running in teary eyed, and assumed I was hurrying to the bathroom.


As time passed, I did not return. She wondered why I hadn’t come back out and opened the door and called for me to come back out. Frantically, I replied, “I can’t. I saw a tiger.” My mom assumed I was making it up but decided to go along with it. “Oh and was the tiger black and orange with strips?” she asked.
My eyes fearfully fixated on the creek. I mumbled to my mom, “Noooooo. It was a yellowish and brownish color.” My mom must seen some humor in my response. She continued, “Oh and did it talk to you?” as if it were some imaginary friend. Still scared out of my mind, I replied, “Nooo…. It didn’t see me.”


That was the end of it. She didn’t even go out to the backyard. My claim was thought to be just another four-year-olds imagination. Days passed. I didn’t see the tiger again. But then, my parents were talking with a couple of their neighborhood friends outside again. It was the typical boring stuff. But then, something good came up. The neighbors told my parents that three different families had spotted a mountain lion in the neighborhood. Some people had seen him sunning himself on a rock. Some people had seen him walking along the creek looking for food. My story finally started to make sense.


However, it did not fully set in until weeks later when we made a trip to Cabela’s (an outdoorsman sporting goods store). While we were there, among all of the hunting trophies, I saw a stuffed version of the mountain lion I had seen down by the creek.
I told my parents, “Look! There’s the tiger I saw in the backyard!” I was right. So it wasn’t a tiger, but I did see a mountain lion! The mountain lion did not see me. But if it did, it probably would have been scared and ran inside to its mom. I was an invincible four-year-old.


Tuesday, September 21, 2010

RaNDoM THINGS FOR WHICH I HAVE NO EXPLANATION

Talk about RaNDoM!
There is so much RaNDoM around here, it's crazy!
Or....I'm crazy.


But I'm blaming it all on Keely over at The Un Mom
She started it!
If you have a lot of RaNDoM, get it out!
Share it and link up at Keely's place
Parker came home from school yesterday and tucked into an afterschool SNACK -
a pork chop,
mashed potatoes and gravy,
green beans,
chips and Rotel nacho cheese dip,
a mini Twix candy bar
and a mini Butterfinger...
oh, and 3 pieces of bacon.
I can't explain that.
I can't.
Did you know that if you go away for 9 days and don't water your bonsai, it will die?
Did you know that if you don't SPECIFICALLY "invite" someone to water your bonsai while you are gone, they probably won't water it?
I don't know why.
It doesn't matter if you left it RIGHT ON THE MIDDLE of the kitchen counter.
This is NOT my child.
This is Tyler - one half of the Bonehead Brothers.... Garrett's best friend.
He practically lived with us for 2 years.
But this is a picture of him when he was 7 - about 10 years BEFORE we even met him.
I don't know why this magnet is on my refrigerator.

Admit it!
You wish you had this souvenir plate.
I really had NO idea why 10 guys jumped out at us with cameras and started snapping away.
I don't know why my children spent a whopping $1 for this.
And I really don't know WHY it is on display in my kitchen.

This is a little pile of items Garrett left behind.
Yes, you are seeing correctly!
There's a school directory, lacrosse pads, 2 dollars, an Owl City CD, a book on stocks and investing, Axe spray, vanilla body lotion, a mouth to mouth rescitation kit, and a "cup."
This little pile is "resting" between my car and Garrett's car in the garage.
I'm picking up the two dollar bills.
I don't know why the pile is here.
Garrett's closet AFTER he left for school.
He took a ridiculous amount of clothes to school.
I counted 16 short sleeve polo shirts.
That doesn't include long sleeve shirts or t-shirts or sweates or hoodies.
I don't know why his closet is still full.
I don't know how he got all these clothes.
Finally, something that demands no explanation!
Someone get a cupcake over here STAT!

Monday, September 20, 2010

MUSIC 101 - What I Missed the First Time Around!

A couple of weeks ago, when I was on the college campus tour across America,
I had the privilege of attending classes with Trammell.


I learned more in those 3 classes than I learned in my four years at the same institution.


Here's my notes (What a dork!  I actually took notes.) from Music 101.


* Quotes from the teacher - I doubt they will be on the test.
"Objectives of Music 101:
Students will be able to discuss music at posh, social gatherings.
Students will become more intelligent and attractive ."

Well, that explains a lot!  I knew I should have taken this class when I was in college.
My whole life would be different!  I would be intelligent AND attractive!

Anyway - the study for the day was Medieval (13th century) music.
They HAD music?

There was some discussion on drones and chants and other terms that I would definitely get wrong on the test, but then it got interesting.
The professor played a "well known" song from 1280ish - once again, a detail I would get wrong on the test.

"Jeu de Robin et Marion"
by Adam de la Halle.

The lyrics were in French, but the teacher gave us the translation:
"Robin loves me.
Robin has me.
Robin asked if he can have me.
Robin took off my skirt of scarlet,
good and pretty,
my bodice and girdle.
Hooray!"

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa!
Is this REALLY something I want my 21 year old exposed to?
What the heck were they doing in the 13th century?

And my husband criticizes me for the music with trashy lyrics *I* listen too.

Well, evidentally, there is an ENTIRE CD of Renaissance and Medieval songs WITH A PARENTAL ADVISORY because of lyrics.
The teacher wouldn't give us the title.
Pffft.......how are we supposed to learn to appeciate 13th century music?

I wanted to stay.
I wanted to enroll in Music 101.
Trammell wouldn't let me.
I'll have to go back to my 21st century music.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Don't Stab the Hand that Might Feed You!

Please tell me it's Friday!
This has been the LONGEST week in the history of time!


I need some bacon and some cupcakes!

Thank heavens for Mrs. 4444s!
Get on over to Half Past Kissin' Time and give her a squeeze!
I love Friday Fragments!
You can just dump your week and move on!

* If you buy these - you can't be my friend.
Hey, I have to have SOME standards.
Jeggings.  They just aren't right.


These lace leggings -
Thank heavens they are modeled by a mannequin.
And I do understand that they are meant to be worn UNDER something.
But I hope that whoever wears them wears SOMETHING under THEM.
They are whoreible (that's not misspelled)




* Did you know that misspell is one of the 100 Most Misspelled Words?




* I am sending the boys care packages today.
They've been in school ONE WHOLE WEEK!
So, I'm sending important things like this -
and Bath & Body Works Wall flowers, Kool Aid and other necessities.

* The other night, our reduced family (of 3) was sitting at the dinner table and Brian asked Parker to say the blessing.
At one point, all three of us had an eye open
(just one - cuz two would be irreverent)
and could see one of our dear family members gripping their steak knife and menacingly sliding it across the table toward another family member's hand.
Is that love?
Parker added to his prayer,
"And help us that we can be reverent and respectful during the prayer."
Two of us kind of snorted and giggled.
Upon saying amen, Parker said, "Geez.......sometimes I feel like I'm living with two children."

* Parker - "Oh yeah.  I forgot to tell you that I went to the assembly for 'Highly Selective Colleges and Universities.' "
Me: ""When was that?"
Parker: "Oh during the last 45 minutes of AP Lang the other day."
Me: "Oh, so like, everyone from the junior class went?"
Parker: "No, just like the top 40 in our class.  They gave me a note a few days ago and your teacher had to excuse you."
Hmmmm...................I'll tell Brian not to stab him.
He could be supporting us in our old age!
Good work Parker!

* 4 out of 5 people in this family are experiencing stomach problems.
As long as I only eat chips and cupcakes, I'm fine.
My stomach only acts up if I eat healthy, nutrious food.
I say, "Follow your gut!"

Surely, you have your own frags!
Go spill em and link up!
Have a great weekend!

Thursday, September 16, 2010

FAMOUS BY ASSOCIATION

Pretty much....I'm famous.
Okay so it's not really that *I'M* famous.
But I'm famous by association...........
which is way better than my usual GUILTY by association.
I've been THAT before!


My friend Margaret -
is a finalist for the Pillsbury Crescent Roll Competition!  Seriously!
There were a gazillion entries and they narrowed it down to like 1 million and then 389,000, and then 100 and then 12 and now there are ONLY 4 COMPETITORS LEFT!
She created a recipe - Zippy BBQ Chicken Packets.
Submitted it and voila!  She's one of the top 4 finalists!
As if getting your own press package with your picture and name isn't enough,
she's in Rachel Ray's magazine this month and Taste of Home next month.
AND she gave me one of her post cards with her picture and recipe on it.
Dang, I should have had her autograph it!
Anyway, now that she's famous, I'm pretty much famous.

Oh and if you were wondering when/how they are going to announce the winner........
well there is voting!
A lot of voting.
You go to Crescent Roll Contest and vote for her - Margaret Noble, Zippy BBQ Chicken Packets.
You don't need to try the recipe first.
You don't need to even look at the other ladies and their recipes.
They aren't important!
Just go and vote.
Oh and you can vote everyday!
Voting for her is like............voting for me!
Yeah! Vote for me Margaret!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

LOST & FOUND KITTEN

Welcome to my neighborhood!
There are about 250 homes all on 1-2 acre lots.

We're spread out enough that we don't have to close our windows when we yell.
We have real grass and real landscaping, but we also have natural grass and some wild Colorado landscaping.

We also have wildlife - and I'm not talking about teenagers throwing parties (although we have that too.)

It's not unusual hear an owl outside the bedroom window, see 5 or 6 bunnies hopping across the front lawn, run across a herd of 8-10 deer while driving at dusk, spot a fox and here coyotes tussle over dinner.
In fact, the coyotes are taking over the neighborhood and are getting quite brazen.

I went outside to pick up the morning paper and on my way back up the driveway, I ran into a coyote walking down my driveway.

Everyone in our neighborhood received this email recently.
The "Smith" family is missing since Friday last week a male American Shorthair cat named Toby. He is gray with black stripes. Our hopes are that he wandered off to a house within Chapparal, where he found some friendly people, who took him in. Our five children are missing him.


Please call the Smithsat(303)123-5678
Thank you very much.

We get these types of emails ALL the time.
And I'm sorry, I giggle when I read them.
I know EXACTLY where the cat is.
EXACTLY!

Yes, Toby did meet up with some friendly.........well, not people...........and they did take him in.....not just into their house, but into their den!
Oh yes, your cat was taken care of.

People!  Really!  How many posters have been taped up on stop signs saying, "LOST: sweet calico kitten..."
We all know where the cats got lost to.
And we all know they aren't coming back.
I'll tell you who to call -
1-800-456 -ACME
Ask for Wiley












Tuesday, September 14, 2010

EMPTY NEST X 2/3 But TINY BABY RULES THE ROOST

Thank heavens it's Tuesday!
Monday wasn't really working out for me.
It was so............Monday!
And the bestest thing about Tuesday is RaNDoM -
Keely saves the week!
Go over and see The Un Mom for yourself!
Read some RaNDoM, get your own RaNDoM, and link up!

* Man, it's quiet around here!
It was weird to sit down at the dinner table last night with just Brian and I and Parker...........like we were waiting for the others to show up.
And then I realized, THIS is it.
No one else is showing up!
Sad!!!



* Last week, I went back to school for the day.
I went to three classes with Trammell.
Class #1 - a music class with 400
Class #2 - a history class with 700
Class $3 - a religion class with 60 <- yep that's the smallest class.
Crazy!

 * So I'm sitting in the history class and the teacher shows
THE EXACT SAME movie clip that they showed when I was in school.  I was laughing and saying, "No way..." when all of the sudden the teacher said, "Okay, everyone get out your I Klickers."
Whoa! Wait! What?
I want one of those!
It's like playing with the Wii in class!

Yeah, the teacher asks a question.
Everyone punches in their answer.
Then the answers come up on the screen in the form of a bar graph and you find out immediately if you are stupid.
So cool!

 * Tiny Baby and I went to Target after his ortho appointment yesterday.
He was putting random things in the cart.
After the scooter and the mini Ben & Jerry's I was over it.
"No more! And I'm not paying for this scooter, " I informed him as I put a can of bathroom cleaner in the cart.
"So.....we can get Kaboom but we can't get a dog. I see how it is."
Huh?
 
OR
This Dog.

I'll take the bathroom cleaner EVERY time....but the dog IS cute!


* I got this postcard in the mail
Am I the only one has a problem with this?
It's for a CHURCH!
For some crazy reason, I just don't like combining the F-Bomb with Jesus.  I'm conservative that way.


* Tiny Baby: "Is it cheaper to get sliced bacon at the deli?"
Me: "No."
Tiny Baby: "Let's go over there and get some."


* Garrett loaded ALL his belongings into the car - bound for college.
I went downstairs to his room to see if he forgot anything obvious.
I saw this -
(I know it looks like a skein of ratty yarn. Close!  It's his ORIGINAL baby blanket.)
He left it behind.
I cried.


*Tiny Baby - "Where can we find roasted Turkey Legs here?"

It's TARGET!  Not the State Fair!
That's it.  I whipped out an envelope to start writing down these ridiculous Target conversations.
The minute my hand emerged from my purse: "Hey, Hey!  You can't blog this!  This is not a mock sesh."

Oh yes!  It's ALWAYS a mock sesh!


* Delayed gratification:
Waiting to crack open the ice cold Coke until the cookies come out of the oven.
I'm soooo good!

Happy Tuesday!
Get your RaNDoM on!

Monday, September 13, 2010

PRIORITIES & THE PEANUT BRITTLE WAR

I'm BAccckkkkkk!
I was gone a week and it feels like 10!
I have a lot to say.
I have a lot to do.

I've got 10,000 loads of laundry.
I have a refrigerator to clean out.
I have a pile of mail to go through.
I have a pioneer trek to plan.

I even have two care packages to get together and mail out.
Wait! Didn't they just leave?
What could they possibly need?

But first, I have to color my hair.
I HAVE MY PRIORITIES!

Oh and in case you thought my life would be quiet and boring....
I still have Tiny Baby at home.
And he takes after his brothers.

We were spending a nice quiet evening at home with Tiny Baby and some fresh popped popcorn
when he opened my nightstand drawer and saw this -
A tussle ensued.  He wanted some. 
I am hoarding it and I hate to share!
Yeah, I feel guilty for leaving him for a week, but not THAT guilty.
Yeah, I've had it for over a month and haven't eaten it.
Yeah, I can get more.
We wrestled.
I won.

About 15 minutes later, my cell phone started ringing.
Sighing, I got out of bed and went in search of the phone.
I heard an evil laugh as Parker ran past me and to the bedside table, opened the drawer and seized the unguarded candy.

Caller ID Display on my phone:
"Home."
The little brat lured me away from the treasure with a well placed phone call.
Brian, always supportive, laughed from his side of the bed -
"Good one Parker.  Nice!" was the only discipline out of his mouth.

Some things never change!