Monday, January 31, 2011

2011 Swimsuit Edition

What strikes fear in every woman's heart and is one of the most dreaded tasks ever....worse than last week's mammogram?


And if cramming yourself in a small booth and stuffing your body into sausage casing under blinking flourescent lights isn't entertaining enough in May.........try doing it in January.

Because -
It's fun to wrangle 7 layers of clothing on and off.
Swimsuits always look better with black knee high socks.....or snow boots
And the only thing less attractive than jiggly thigh white jiggly thigh flesh!

A few weeks ago (right after eating my way through November and December), Brian suggested *we* go swimsuit shopping.
Brave soul!
He actually got me kind of excited about it.........
until he asked, "Are you going to have a good attitude?"
I answered honestly, "NO!"

We met at the department store.
I arrive 20-30 minutes before him.
I previewed the suits and then I even tried on the suits so I could show him the ones that didn't make me guffaw out loud or curl up in the fetal position crying.

And guess what?
I found some!
I found four suits.

 Yes, this one has matching bottoms.

Can you believe it?

I guess I did have a good attitude because I concentrated on looking at what was below the neck and above my thighs.  I ignored the veins that look like the road map of LA on my legs.  I ignored the pasty, sun deprived skin.  I ignored that parts of me are bony and my biggest asset which asset.

In one store, the salesgirl told Brian he could join me in the dressing room.
No!  I'm not going to comment.  Just NO!

But my long underwear, ski socks, jeans, turtleneck, sweater and mittens back on and paid.........before I changed my mind.


Dawn said...

Wow, you are brave. I took my 3 year old swimsuit shopping with me last year. I must have been insane but she did tell me in the middle of changing, "Mommy, you are pretty." Okay kid, you stay in the will.

Also, where did you find those suits? I love them all!

Raven said...

Swimsuit shopping, what's that? I need to go sometime though. *sigh*

Raven said...

Oh, and btw, those are some cute suits.

Melissa said...

Hey, WHERE did you find suits like those? I have been looking for some like those forever!

Danelle said...

Please tell me where you found them. PLEEEEAAAAAASE!!!!!

H.K. said...

You are very brave, but I bet you looked really good in them. I loved your swimsuit choices!

Stef said...

Very cute suits. I hate swim suit shopping. I hate any shopping...but swimsuits are the worst!! So glad you had success!

Julianna said...

Love the tank two piece style, they don't ride up when you move.

I'm gonna have to swim suit shop this year, and I think I'd rather have a mamogram. :)

Andrea said...

I wanted to point you to my post from last year RTT Swimsuit Edition but since I'm currently taking the blog to, you can't read it! Wah! But it is very similar to your swimsuit horror. It's the absolute worst time of year and I have to get one before we go on a tropical vacation in April. Wah!

I'm so glad you found one and liked it! It's so rare that we can have both!