Monday, August 15, 2011

The Great Idiot Race

Don't deny it!
You having been dying to here about the Great Idiot Race all weekend!

No one died.
Although we came close.

So the race was on a winding hill in a neighborhood next to ours.
The idiots 20-somethings who "organized" the race DID talk to all the neighbors a few days beforehand and "got permission."

But really, go ahead, you predict what is going to happen when 50 teenagers with longboards show up on your street.

Practice runs were taken.
Races started.
Parker won first place in his first heat.
Xan (my niece) was the only girl in the competition, so she raced with boys and she was second in her heat.
My other nephews came in 4th in their heats.
No one was injured, so they are all winners in my mind.

Shortly after the first few races, a "nice" police woman showed up claiming she had received 20 complaints.
First, there are not even 20 people who live in the neighborhood where they were racing.
But whatever.
She did point out that
A. They did not get a street permit to "close" the street.
and B. What they were doing was dangerous.

Race over!

Not to be deterred, everyone got in their cars and followed the race "organizers" to a new neighborhood.
I'm SURE they called ahead and got permission.
And I'm SURE they went ahead and filed AND received permits on the way over there!

Race on!!!

So after a few practice runs on the new race course - an equally winding, steep hill, the races started up.
Call it mother's intuition, but when I saw neighbors come out of their houses and walk to their property lines and then retreat back into their houses without even coming over to ask what was going on,
I knew this would be short lived.

But seriously, did they think that this "gang" of hooligans was going to skate up their drive way and load up their boards with flat screens, computers and jewelty and board off into the sunset?
Come on people!  Live a little!

Xan came in second again and the owners of the shop decided to "sponsor" her.
They gave her a new board, trucks and wheels.  Woohoo!

Parker somehow joined in the wrong race but still managed to get second.

She WAS NOT happy.
She yelled at everyone.
We all stood in the middle of the street as she raved.
The racing was over.
Everyone new it.
But no one was exactly jumping in their cars.
She was not pleased.
And that is when she yelled:
"And if you don't leave, I will write you ALL tickets.

And you parents - I will give you $75 tickets for Child Abuse."

Wait! $75 tickets for child abuse?
That's all?
If I had known that child abuse only cost $75, I would have started abusing my children A LONG TIME ago!

We all just kind of stood there........being a menace to society eating Otter Pops.

With that, she got back in her car and left.
She left without giving us our tickets!!!!
Was that just an empty threat?

We finished our Otter Pops, picked up our trash, and the organizers of the race decided to call it a day and go back to the shop to hand out prizes.

Pretty much, I had had enough standing around on hot black top sweating excitement,
felt ripped off because I didn't get a ticket,
and decided to call it a day.

Parker and all the racers went to the store to collect their prizes.
He came home with a new board and wheels.
I hope that was the END of Parker's racing career!


Missty said...

Fun times! Glad noone crashed and burned! And we would of all gotten tickets here - end of story. Todd was at a skateboarding function sponsored by a city close to ours. They had permits, vendors to sell food, and skateboarding stuff. A huge all day event! BUT, apparently there was only 4 blocks closed, across the street of that last block was the payphones (pre-cell phone days) So as each skateboarder "skated" across the walkway to call their parents, a policeman was there on the other side to write you up a ticket. I kid you not! We picked up Todd and his three buddies all holding tickets. And you don't just pay it, you have to miss school and go see the judge.
Judgement day came and there were a good 200 kids and there parents. The judge saw maybe 10 of the cases, walked out and asked how many people got tickets at the skate fair... dismissed us all. But yes we have had our fairshare of skateboarding tickets. Our city is a firm believer in thinking every kid is a deliquint, and would never get a warning for anything - always a you can miss school and then city gets your money.

Don and Kelley said...

Way to be a supportive mom!!!!

Julianna said...

Because nothing says threatening menace like "otter pops"

They can come here and long board anytime. I live at the top of the hill on a dirt road. Race on!

Christina - Rant Rave Roll said...

Wow... I had no idea child abuse was such a minor misdemeanor.... like jaywalking.

Some neighborhoods (and neighbors) are just like that. Remember the good old days when kids actually played outside and it wasn't considered a criminal offense?

Tricia said...

gina, you're the best blogger. i laugh out loud regularly at your posts. good stuff.

valerie said...

Awesome! Love how you stood your ground eating your Otter Pops!